


Jakku's Prize

by bedlinens



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Western, Angst, F/M, Independent Rey, No dubious consent, Possessive Kylo Ren, They all have issues, UST, au reylo, badass-rey with a solvency problem, desperate measure, desperate times, historian writing about a period shes not a specialist in hence forgive my mistakes, kylo oh kylo, perhaps some fluff, sheriff kylo ren, some assholes will attempt things but no rape, title may change, whats a fic without ust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:02:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 48,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21925639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bedlinens/pseuds/bedlinens
Summary: It is the Wild West, the nineteenth century, and destitute Rey is about to become the one thing she had fought all her life never to be: a whore. Is there anyone to help in this God Forsaken town? She is meant to be sold to the highest bidder, Her virginity reduced to a commodity.An encounter with a strange man in the woods could very well seal her fate...Obvious AU Western style
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 176
Kudos: 428





	1. Chapter 1

_1880's, Jakku, middle of nowhere, Arizona Territory_

This was it, Rey thought, feeling dread and despair rip through her body. She was out of money and out of means to get some.

She put on the dress the saloon owner had put out for her, and with each movement, she felt her dignity leave her.

She tried to cheer herself up, or at least regain a modicum of self-worth. She had avoided this day for as long as she could. She had left the orphanage almost seven years ago, and had managed to live on her own, stealing what she could, hiding in barns and moving all around the country, as far as she could. She had escaped the inhabitants of the various towns she had lived in.

Now, however, at 18 she could not use the same stratagems anymore, and she had been spotted. She could not hide her womanly curves and a couple of men had tried to force themselves on her. She had fought them off, but in doing so, she had revealed her presence to the whole county. She could not steal anymore for fear of being caught and hanged. She had stayed in a pension for a couple of weeks, hoping an opportunity would present itself, preventing her from having to do what she was preparing to do. She had looked for jobs, had applied to be a waitress but had been told that since she was not married nor had a family, she could not be trusted to be around the customers and not sell more than food. She had hoped to be hired as a seamstress, but she could only do small repairs and was not trained to do dresses or men outfits. Furthermore, comments had been made once again about her lack of family and about how she could not be trusted not to bring shame to any God-fearing business.

It had been beyond humiliating, and she had left the town where she had begged for a job, in order to end up here, in Jakku. She had seen the saloon and had known this was the only thing left for her. She had tried to bargain with the owner, a bastard named Unkar, about being an hostess, inciting his customers to bet more and selling dances, but he had told her in no uncertain words that if she chose to be paid only for that and one of the customers decided to have his way with her, Unkar would not consider it an aggression, that he would always side with the customer.

“We both know what’s going to happen to you if I take you into my employ, might as well get paid for it,” he had said, nonchalantly.

She had wanted to spit in his face, but beggars could not be choosers, and in this case, she was literally a beggar. His joint was the only place miles around where a man could buy female company. There was an itinerary reverend, Snoke, going through several towns or settlements, and he had managed to scare all the saloons into forgoing the commerce of flesh.

Unkar was resisting and making a shining buck out of this defiance. In addition to that, when he had interviewed Rey, he had made a point of asking her about her previous experience with men and had been delighted to learn she was untouched. That very night, he would be selling her virginity to the highest bidder, and she would get two fifth of the bid. He kept on telling her she was making the right choice, she believed he was thinking about this extra profit, and the fact that he had put the word out that a virgin would be auctioned, therefore expecting a crowd of interested buyers as well as curious onlookers who would have to buy a drink to witness the process.

She sat in front of the bed, in her new room, where she would be doomed to later lose her only pride and joined her hand in prayer.

Soon though, she felt the need to run. She knew it would be a temporary fix, but she put on a heavy cloak to protect herself from the cold while hiding her face and attire, and she climbed out the window. Unkar wanted her to remain away from prying eyes until he big reveal.

She wandered in the nearby woods and waited till she was far away enough to let out a scream of frustration. So many years fighting for her life, for her dignity, for a hope of a better future and there she was, or there she would be. Why had she spent so much time and energy fighting, only to be defeated in such a way? Why were the stars so dead set against her? Why had she ever done to God to deserve such a terrible fate? She had done everything she could to keep herself intact, hoping one day she would be reunited with her birth parents, who would then be proud to introduce their daughter to their society, be it noble or low, and fix the mistakes of the past… Instead, there she was, dressed as a whore, about to become one, trapped through a plan she had participated in… Was there no God? No pity? No mercy? She had been so good at keeping faith for so long, but tonight, she really felt like she had been praying in vain.

“Miss are you alright?” someone asked from the side, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

She made sure the cape was hiding her hair, which had been made by one of the prostitutes who had been charged with preparing her for what was to come and wanted to curse.

She took a look at the man who had creeped up on her and realized her mistake. She was alone and no one would hear her scream if he was not a man of honor…

The man was tall, so much taller than her, she would not stand a chance. He had brown hair down to his shoulder and black eyes. Nay, dark eyes, she thought, hoping they would show a tedium of humanity. However, she was not holding her breath. There was something about the man, all dressed in black, that made her both shiver in fear and feel overwhelmed by feelings she had never experienced. Just her luck, she figured, to feel something for someone who would never look at her twice after that night. His shoulders were broad, and his chest, enticing. Could such a thing be? Yet, if she had not been so scared, and had known she could trust him somehow, she would have buried her face against it, and cried all the tears she kept bottled up, unwilling to give in, still praying for a last minute miracle.

“I asked if you were alright,” he said once more. “You should not be out there, especially on your own. We have predators roaming those woods. Are you bleeding?” he asked.

“I beg your pardon?” She uttered, truly shocked by his forwardness.

“We have bears. They can smell blood miles away. Are you experiencing your menstrual time? Are you bleeding?” he asked again in that raspy voice of his.

Blushing, she heard herself reply:

“I am not, though I will be later,” thinking of the trial awaiting her.

“Whatever do you mean?” he asked but she kept silent, knowing she had said too much.

Then, to her utter despair, she felt him come closer, towering over her, making her feel small and unworthy.

“You’re the prize,” he said, approaching her.

She was terrified but her legs would not move.

He came so close as to remove the cloak from her face and took her in. She found herself staring into his dark eyes, even though it meant arching her neck to meet his gaze, defiantly. He could try what he wanted but she would not go down without a fight. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she wondered what he thought of her, if she was worth the fuss Unkar was making about her. He moved closer, and she put her gloved hand on his chest to prevent him from coming closer. In return, he moved the cloak further down, and she felt shame when her deep neckline was showing.

“A prize indeed, a treasure even for most. It makes a man want to count his coin before tonight,” he said, “unless you’re offering to sample your goods.”

She smacked him, hard, with all her might, fueled by her fear and humiliation. For a split second, she had thought he would be her savior, he would offer her to run away, he would… do everything or anything, save her from this nightmare she was forced to live while awake;

His head had whipped to the side, and when he looked at her again, she could see she had drawn blood from his lips. Almost against all sense, she noticed that he had all his teeth, and they were not yellow or rotten as some of the men usually were.

“Careful, little girl, you do not know who you’re playing with…” He said menacingly.

The moon shining caught something on his chest, and she spotted the five-branch star pinned on his chest. He was the Sheriff, Kylo Ren, she was sure of it.

Things were going from bad to worse, and instinct took over. She fled.

He could have easily caught her up, but did not, letting her run back to the saloon. Even though it was not possible, she would have sworn she could feel his gaze on her neck as she climbed back to her room.

Could this night get any worse?


	2. Chapter 2

Back in her room, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She removed the cloak and felt like puking. Her assets were on full display, as Unkar wanted her. She was wearing some cheap trinkets, meant to enhance her features, but most accurately, frame her figure. The necklace, a red stone of no value, was like blood against her alabaster skin. It also showcased the curves of her neck and those below her throat. The corset she was wearing was pressing her breasts so tightly, she was not sure whether to expect them to break free of the contraption, or if they would reduce in size for good after that night.

She was small, she knew it, but she had always had to struggle for food, hence she had no flesh to shed. Her hair was held up in a high ponytail, and she hated it. She was used to tying in three buns, a habit she had picked up as a child. She did not remember it clearly, but she knew it was something her mother used to do.

She checked her reflection again and had to fight back the urge to vomit. Her cheeks were red with a blush that did not fit her complexion. Her lips would be red when she would apply the paint she had been handed over by the other prostitute, Bazine. The woman did not like her, had told her that she would not let her steal her regulars. Rey thought she was terrible at reading people, something a good professional ought to be. If she had been, she would have seen that Rey was entering this business as she had no other choice.

There was a knock on her door, and she did not have time to say anything, as the brunette came in. She had put on her own attire and was flaunting her assets proudly. She was carrying flowers, which she put in several corners of the room.

“Admiring yourself?” The woman asked, as Rey was still standing in front of the mirror.

“Admiring your work,” Rey said, trying to gain her appreciation.

She did not like her but beggars could not be choosers. If they were to be the two women of this establishment, she hoped solidarity would appear, making it less lonely.

“I only did what Unkar asked me to do.”

So, Bazine was not sensing the opportunity to make a friend or an ally, she only saw her as an enemy.

Rey looked again at the mirror, and saw the bed beside her, so huge for the room, and hated all it stood for, all it meant for her future.

“Are there some people I should know about in this town?” Rey asked, but there was a name burning her lips.

“You mean, people who would be interested in this pitiful auction of yours?”

“For Heaven’s sake, Bazine, I am not your enemy. I am not here to steal your clients. If I could, I would not be doing this.”

“Because you’re so much better than that, aren’t you, you little virgin?”

So much hate, and disdain…. It kept on getting worse and worse.

“There are some old rich guys around who could buy your precious virginity, such as the mayor, or the barber. They have wives at home, but they’re uglier that the wrong end of a dog.”

“What about… Law enforcement?” Rey asked, trying to hide her interest. “I think I heard someone talk about a justice of the peace being in this town?”

“We don’t have a judge, but we do have a sheriff. We share him with several neighboring towns. Kylo Ren, his name is. And if he came in here tonight to purchase your chastity, well, I would eat my hat. I have tried to lure him up to my bedroom several times, but he always rejected me. He drinks but he never buys. He thinks he’s better than us. I think he is. I heard someone say that he comes from money, that he’s running from his family, that they are big people on Washington or Baltimore or something…. How he ended up in Jakku, beats me. But what I would give to give him the ride of his life…”

“Don’t you think it would be dangerous, dancing with a lawman? Aren’t you afraid he would put you in jail?”

“Prostitution is not forbidden, why would he do such a thing?”

“I don’t know… I heard rumors, from neighboring towns, that Snoke wants pleasure girls to be jailed…”

“Believe me, after a go with me, he would not want to put me in jail, unless he wanted to keep me close so that we could fuck some more…”

Rey closed her eyes, not sure what she was hoping. Did she want the sheriff to come tonight? Did she want him to stay out of this? He had been…almost gallant for all of two minutes before he had realized who and what she was. He seemed powerful, and attractive too, but so dark….

“Why you’re closing your eyes, miss Virgin? Am I talking too crass for you? You better get used to it, you’ll be learning more and more with every new client who buys you.”

“I know, Bazine, more than you would believe…” Rey snapped back at her.

“Oh yeah? Are you a virgin in just one place then?”

“If all you’re going to do is make sure I’m terrified for tonight or enraged so that I won’t sell, you can leave. I wish I could.”

“Fine, have it your way, but don’t forget to wash yourself, no one wants a dirty whore” the woman said, finally leaving her alone.

Rey put her hand on the mirror, struggling to rein in her rage otherwise she would have made the glass break. She could still break free, she told herself, take off that hideous trashy dress, and climb out the window. She had already done it once that very night, she could do it again.

But then… What? People knew about the orphan girl roaming their county, and even if she managed to get away from Unkar and Jakku, people would be on the look out for her, and there would be no stealing possible. She’d get caught.

For a brief second, she saw it in her head, her trying to get away with an apple, and Kylo Ren showing up to arrest her. Would he hang her on the spot? Would he afford her a trial? What would be the point anyway, she would end up at the end of a rope.

Would he enjoy doing it? Would he try to sample her goods, as he had said, before he led her to her death?

_Did she want him to?_

She shook head, hoping it would erase that last thought of her brain.

No, she had made her bed, and now was time to lie in it, literally.

Unkar was downstairs, and she managed to escape her thoughts long enough to realize that the place had to be packed, if the noise coming from downstairs was any indication. There was laughter, music, glasses shocking, chairs moving.

She was supposed to wait for a loud noise, when Unkar would bang on her floor with a broom.

She so hated the theatrics.

She went to the dressing table, and grabbed the paint, putting it on her lips as best as she could.

So much red, between the jewels, her dress, her make up… It almost seemed too foreshadowing of what she was expected to do tonight. It was already too much blood for her, and the night was jut getting started.

She wished she was weak enough to die. Sadly, she was too stubborn to take her own life, but what she would not have given to be that kind of person. She did not fear God or His ire, as she did not believe there was such a thing as God. Actually, that was not true. When at the orphanage, an old woman who had been a nun had called her an “opportunistic believer”. He supposed it was accurate as she did turn to the Lord when she had no other options. She just did not want to end her life and perhaps miss on something good that would be coming later. If in the meantime, she had to swallow her pride, and do what was needed to survive, then so be it, she tried to convince herself.

She almost jumped when she heard the broom hit the floor, and it confirmed one of her many fears, there would be no privacy if people were listening.

She took a deep breath, then another, then she went for the door. She opened it, knowing how she looked, and did not bother to smile. This whole charade was not something she wanted to be part of. Yet, she was the main protagonist. She got out of her room, and slowly walked to the stairs.

The place was lit up like it was a fancy place, or so she imagined one would look like. She had never been anywhere fancy, and she probably never would. She went down the stairs, and the howling and catcalling started. She forced herself not to frown, but it was hard, as she wanted to run, to cry, to do anything but that. She had a hand on the bannister and the other held her dress, as Unkar had instructed her too, in order to show her calves.

What had she been reduced to?

She made sure she was not looking at anyone in particular, not wanting to spark an interest or have anybody she held any for one of them.

She would be a terrible whore…

Yet, there was no turning back.

She reached the last step, where Unkar was waiting for her.

“Smile, God damn it, “ he told her through gritted teeth as he pretended to smile.

She could not. She let him lead her to the chair he had put on a pedestal. She was the Queen of the night, the belle to this ball. She sat down, holding her head up.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Unkar said in a booming voice, and men answered by cheering.

“Who wouldn’t want to have the first go at this young beauty? Who wants to know he’s where no man has been before?”

 _Gross_.

“Let’s start the auction. It opens at 5 dollars!”

_Oh Lord, I don’t believe in you, but prove me wrong and open this ground to swallow me whole._

Men started barking numbers, and she made a point not to meet anyone’s eyes.

“$20!” barked one man who by his voice had to be old enough to be her great-grandfather.

And it kept on going up. The mercurial part of her hung on to the two fifths she was supposed to pocket when all was said and done.

“$75!” Unkar yelled, “to the gold hunter!”

She made the mistake of looking at him, and found herself praying again. He looked like he had not bathed in years. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend she was not there.

“$150,” a low voice said as the salon doors were pushed.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” The gold-digger said.

Rey opened her eyes, not sure if she wanted to believe it or not.

There stood Kylo Ren, with his cowboy hat, and his dark attire.

“Can you make a counteroffer?” Unkar asked.

“If he had followed the rules and bet at $82.5, sure, but $150? That’s just cheating.”

“Sue me,” Kylo said, as he walked up to the makeup scene.

She wanted to die. Or did she?

“Here is your money,” he said, throwing a pouch at Unkar who was quick to grasp it. “I trust you’ll find your due. Now….”

“Wait, Sheriff, why pay so much for someone so inexperienced," Bazine asked, prying herself from the customer she was soliciting.

“Some things are worthless. Others, are simply worth every cent one owns,” he told the prostitute, looking at her like she was a disease.

Hadn't she said he was not a customer of the saloon? Then why was he bidding in this war?

Wait where they still bidding?

It seemed Unkar had foregone his dream of saying “going once, going twice”, and was just counting his – their – money.

“Now, princess, I think it’s time you showed me your bedroom and what my coin paid for,” Kylo said, tilting her head toward him.

She could feel the silk of his glove and could not help but wonder how he could stand them in the Arizonian heat.

Their eyes locked, and she could not read him. Perhaps it was a good thing, for it reignited her fighting spirit.

He thought he had bought himself a whore. Boy was he about to be surprised…

She took his hand, and led him upstairs, feeling the gazes of the whole crowd on their backs.

“I thought you never graced the whores with your presence, only drank at the bar...” she hissed at him.

“Hush now and show me your room.”

Why did she want to say yes and just do as he said? She could not fight him, he had bought her fair and square, but she would think of something, oh she would…

If only inspiration could come sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your nice comments....
> 
> Please read and review, as always, I'm terrified.... I'm not new to this ship but I know how fierce the fandom is and how demanding of quality it can be...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo collects his due, his way

Naturally, by the time they had reached the top of the stairs, she was too busy holding herself up to think about what she could or would do. This was it, the moment she dreaded so badly….

He had removed her hand from his and had placed it on his forearm, and it reminded her of some fancy couples she had seen in the streets in some of the cities where she had hidden in the past. Arizona territory was not part of the United States, or not acknowledge as part of the union, but the United States of America were spreading there, through railroads, and many nouveaux riches had come, trying to establish themselves as some sort of civilian nobility in freshly integrated lands. She remembered the women in their plush dresses, the men in their somber outfits despite the heat, and the way they had paraded in town, when the latter was courting the former.

Why was she thinking about this? Part of her knew she was trying to distract herself, to put some distance between her inner sanctuary, her mind, and what was about to happen.

“Which door is yours?” She heard her companion say, and it was not possible to dissociate her mind and body anymore.

“The last one,” she said, as she walked him with him.

She was not sure who was leading who. She should be playing hostess, making him feel like he had invested his money in the right girl, yet her mind was…. Scrambled, to say the least. She felt like her brain has stopped functioning and fear was overpowering her whole body.

She fumbled to open the door, and his hand came over hers, helping her press the handle.

Her breath was bought in her lungs. This was it. This was. It. Whatever it was.

Oh, heaven helped her.

But she could not let him see, could she? No, this was a life she had chosen for herself, and she had to own up to it.

She went in, and he followed, taking in the surroundings.

She could feel herself cringing. She had arrived in town four days before, and the room really di not feel like her at all. It had been a long time since she had had a room to call her own, mind you, but this just was not a reflection of who she was. It was meant to show who she would become, when he was done with her.

He let go of her arm, to remove his glove, ad she moved into the room and pondered what she was supposed to do. Time to learn her trade, she could hear Bazine whisper. Time to earn your keep, Unkar was saying in her head.

“This room is… “ She started.

“Just a room, but it is not yours.”

She turned around, surprised by his analysis of their surroundings. She saw him put his cowboy hat on a nail on the wall.

“I guess I will have to make it my own,” she said bravely.

He hummed, but she could not tell if he was agreeing with her or not.

The room was large, or so she thought, but him being in it made it look so small…. She was suddenly to aware of that monstrous bed. She moved around it and went for the liquor tray on the window.

“Can I pour you something to drink?” She asked.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” he answered.

“I’m not having anything…”

“You should. You’re trembling like a leaf. Perhaps you need some liquid courage. I’ll have what you’re having. Or, if you cannot choose, then pour two whiskeys.”

She could not deny him, she was his, whatever that meant.

She found the two shot glasses and filled them with the liquor he had favored. She was about to bring it to him but when she turned around, he was there, in her personal space, invading it, crushing it like it had no right to exist.

He took the glass from her hand, and their fingers brushed.

She felt warmth and followed when he lifted his drink and downed it in a single gulp. She did the same, and the fire in her trachea seemed to indicate he had not been wrong in his analysis. She did not feel like she was ready to get down with whatever would happen, but at least, she felt more composed.

He put his empty glass on the tray behind her, and in doing so, his arm brushed against her breast.

What was she supposed to do?

“What do you want me to do?” She heard herself asking.

He chuckled and lifted his hand to her cheek.

“A virgin indeed.”

“That’s what you paid for.”

“And aren’t you glad I did? Think about that money which will be in your pocket tomorrow…”

Suddenly, she lifter her eyes to meet him as she said:

“Sixty dollars? Sweet Jesus.”

“Sixty? I paid one hundred and fifty,” he growled, and she felt a tremor of fear course through her body at his sudden anger.

“I only get two fifths of it….”

“What? It’s a shame… A mockery…”

He said genuinely irate, and she did not know how to react.

“I guess one could say I got screwed?” She tried to joke. “But then again it was also the purpose of this whole charade… Tell me, did you bid because you thought you could save me, by giving me money?”

His anger was still there, but he seemed to blush slightly as he said:

“No one can save us. We are all we have. I just think it’s outrageous that you’re only getting so little in this trade.”

What a sobering thought. No one could save her. She was doomed, and damned. No matter what she did, she would have to bear the taint of what she had agreed to do.

“Sixty is still plenty….”

“I hope you won’t, but if you wanted, you could cash in your money tomorrow, and leave Jakku, start over somewhere else.”

She laughed bitterly.

He gave her a look, and she felt hot, not sure if he was to be blamed for it or the alcohol.

“I signed a contract with Unkar. I only get my share after the end of my contract. He wanted to make sure I would be staying since, and I’m quoting here, “he needs a second working girl, and he can’t have me running away on hm”.

“That bastard!” Kylo barked, hitting his fist on the windowsill, making the tray jump, and her with it.

How could things change in the blink of an eye? She found herself taking his fist into her hands, and she led him to the bed with her, where they sat, on top of the covers.

“It is what it is. When I was looking for a partner I guess, in this business, I first met Unkar. He made his offer, but I did not accept right away. I met with another woman, who is also a professional in this trade, and she gave me clues on how to manage to escape some tricks Unkar was trying to pull on me. She did warn me that I would need to sign a contract though, otherwise every girl in need of pocket change would sell her virginity and run away, far away and pretend she was someone else, somewhere else.”

She had not realized that she was caressing his hand, trying to get him to unclench his fist.

“When are you getting your share?” he asked, and she held back a chuckle, thinking that this was not in a million years how she had thought the night would go.

“End of my contract, so that’s in six months. “

She heard her companion growl again.

“Is he cutting it in any way?” He asked. “If you need a dress, is he giving you some of your share to buy it, or buying it for you and then taking out the cost from your money?”

“I don’t know, I never thought to ask. This… whole thing, it happened quickly. I guess it was a long time coming, but the specifics of it, it was just a couple of days.”

He closed his eyes, and she could feel how angry he was.

Why did he care? He had only bought the right to be the first to have her.

This thought brought her back to Earth and she figured she had to play her part. She slowly put her hand forward, in order to be able to reach for his shirt but he caught her hand mid-air.

“What are you doing?”

“What you paid for,” she answered with a fake smile.

“You asked me earlier what I wanted you to do? Well, here it is. Don’t take the initiative. Don’t pretend you’re more experienced than you are. I am sure you’ve seen things or heard things, but I bought you, and I am calling the shots.”

“Yes, Sheriff,” she said submissively, not sure what else to say.

“Try Kylo…”

“I am sorry, I know it is your name, but it does not feel right….”

“I don’t want you to scream ‘sheriff’ when I fuck you.”

“I am sorry, you are right, you are the one who has the upper hand…”

This seemed to enrage him furthermore and she was honestly lost. What did he want?

“I am sorry Kylo, please, forgive me, and come back on the bed,” she asked as he started pacing, muttering in his beard, in hand in his hair, almost pulling at it.

Before she could utter a word or move, he was in front of her, and she had to arch her neck to meet his gaze.

“What is your name?” he asked her, and she realized that it had never been uttered until then.

“Rey.” She answered quickly.

“Take off your dress,” he told her.

She wanted to close her eyes and weep, but this was not what she had signed up for. Shaking like a leaf, she got up from the bed, and started undoing the lace in the back of the dress. Her hands were too uncertain, and he said:

“Turn around.”

She could not disobey him, context or not. She kept on forgetting he had bought her virginity. She found herself turning to expose the intricate design of the corset top.

She felt his presence behind her, his warmth against her body, and something happened she had not experienced before. She could feel moisture between her legs.

Sure, she had been aroused before, dangerous thought for a teenager, but she had never been turned on by someone next to her. At best, it had been the idea of someone, of finding a man who would understand her, and respect her. She had not expected to feel excitement at being told what to do by a complete stranger.

Yet, for such a stranger, he was being very delicate. She felt his hand undo her hair and sighed in contentment when the hated bun was removed. He brushed his fingers against her locks, and brought a piece of her hair to his nose, purring:

“Decadent…”

She had not let Bazine shower in perfume, arguing that since she was supposed to do another quick wash before the auction, the perfume would be washed off, so he was smelling her.

She felt unsure, wanted to raise one of her hands to his hair, and lock it in his curls, especially when she felt him place his lips against her neck. She sighed and closed her eyes, bending her neck further to grant him access.

She was no whore. The truth was just this Maybe he saw her this way, but for the moment, she was just a young woman feeling things as a man who seemed to have been modeled to give other men an idea of what true masculinity was supposed to be like, kissed her neck.

She felt her knees tremble, and he put his hand on her stomach, keeping her in place, as he growled one more.

Was he part panther or something? He surely growled a lot, and Heaven helped her, she liked it.

His lips trailed all the way to her ear, and he kissed the lobe. She sucked in a breath.

Was he purring? Maybe she was… Who knew?

She felt his hands move to her corset, and with agile fingers, he managed to remove the lace. She should have been able to breathe more easily, but there was this need in her stomach which prevented from just letting go.

His lips went back to her neck and traced her shoulder this time. What he could not kiss, he caressed with his hand, and she found herself linking their fingers together, daring to do something he had not ordered.

He chuckled, and used their hold to twirl her gently, until she was standing in front of him. The move made the corset loosen up, and she felt the whole dress fall to the floor, standing in front of him wearing a negligee and a garter belt, with the stockings.

She opened her eyes to watch him, not wanting to miss a clue of what he wanted next. What took her breathe away was the intensity with which he was taking her in.

Hesitantly, she put one hand on his cheek, and he covered it with his own, before bringing it to his mouth, for another kiss.

“Are you comfortable in this?” He asked her, and his voice was gruffier than ever.

“If you like it…”

“The truth, Rey… If I wanted a whore, I would have purchased a whore.”

It stung, but the desire was too strong for her to slap him again.

She took back control of her hand, and opened his bottom lip, where she had seen blood earlier that night.

Lord, it felt like a millennium before.

“I drew blood earlier,” she said. “It’s only fair you will do the same thing.”

“Answer me, Rey.”

“I am not comfortable in those clothes,” she said. “But Bazine said…”

“Fuck Bazine,” he uttered.

“She wished you would.”

“I’d rather fuck a gator.”

“Kinky…”

“Take off this attire then, if you’re not comfortable in it.”

She felt herself blush and she was certain her entire body had to be flushed.

“Don’t you want to me to undress you?” She asked, looking at his suit.

She could not miss the way the buttons of his pants seemed about to pop, his cock pushing hard against them.

“Remember, I call the shots, little Rey.”

She let go of his hand, regretfully, and got rid of the stockings.

Lord help her, she looked like a schoolgirl trying to undress. However, a quick look at him proved her that he was not disliking the imagery.

She then pushed the negligee over her head, and her hands went to her breast.

A tut let her know he wanted to see her.

She wanted to see him too, but alas, she was not the one in charge.

She pushed her hands away, deeply aware of his gaze on her frail body. She wished she was more feminine, that she more curves, but years on the streets had not been kind on her development.

She finally got rid of the garter belt and was left in her bloomers.

She was about to get rid of those when he stopped her.

He was breathing in deeply, obviously fighting for control.

She was his.

She wanted to say it, but there was something holding her back, a faint awareness that she was only his for that very night, and she would be someone else’s the next night.

He put his hand on her neck and this time, trailed down her front, brushing his hand between her beast, stopping to tickle her belly button, before putting his hand on top of her bloomers.

“You’re wet,” he growled.

“Yes, Kylo.”

“You’re making this so very hard.”

She did not what he meant and wanted to ask him what he meant, when he grabbed her head, and said:

“Kiss me, like you want me.”

Her arms flew around his neck and their mouths met, hungry for one another. He forced her lips opened, and thought she had seen it done, she had never been kissed period, and she did not know if she would like it. His tongue caressed hers, her lips, her palate, and she tried to mimic his moves, wanting him to feel as good as she did.

He grabbed her head again, and this time push them apart, their forehead resting against one another, both breathing heavily, like the air was scarce.

She felt dizzy.

“Open your eyes,” he intimated, and she obeyed.

“What a sight you make…. But you’re not in your right mind. I won’t take advantage of you. Get in bed, I will join you after I’ve undressed. I’ll hold you, and we’ll sleep.”

Wait, what?

“You don’t want me?” She asked, feeling hurt.

He grabbed her hand and put it on top of his trousers.

“What do you think?”

“Then… I don’t understand… Do you want to play knight in shining armor? You save me tonight, give me a taste of something good, and then tomorrow, someone I will have not chosen will buy me and realize that you never consummated your purchase? Do you want someone else to have what you purchased?”

His temper flared up again.

“There will be no one else. No one will buy you. You’re mine.”

“For the night only…”

“You’re mine,” he repeated, grabbing her head and forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Yes, I paid for your virtue, but I paid in order to be able to do what I wanted with it. What I want is for you to keep it, until you meet someone worthy of having it.”

It made no sense… The next day, her virtue would be gone, and he would be the laugh of the town.

“I’m yours,” she relented, aware that he was forcing her to lie.

He grabbed her head and kissed her again. Then… He was gone.

She found herself almost naked in her room. It was just too much. Had she displeased him? The one man she did not mind and even wanted to have her would not.

She curled on the bed, pushing away the frill covers until she got to the sheets, and she wrapped herself in it. She held her tears in as long as she could, but when she spotted his hat on the wall, she could not hold them in any longer.

She did not know how long she cried for, why she cried, but some time later, the door opened again, and he came back in, rushing by her side as he spotted her frail frame.

“It’s going to be alright, Rey. I let Unkar know you’re not working tomorrow.”

But what about the next day? She wanted to ask.

He sighed, then turned, and removed his jacket, his sheriff star shining in the moonlight, then removed his shirt. He kept his trousers on and got in bed behind her. She could feel his warmth against her back, and she was just so grateful he was back….

Nothing was fixed, nothing was permanent, but exhausted, she fell asleep in his embrace, her virtue intact even if her heart was not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super anxious about this. I had two scenarios in my head, but I chose to go with this one.  
> I hope you'll go with me, and trust me.  
> I would love it if someone was willing to brainstorm with me. I know where I want this story to go, but I would love someone as a sounding board...
> 
> As Always, please, please, please, read and review. Kudos mean the world.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support, it means the world!  
> I will probably have to put writing on hold for a couple of days. My mom is visiting and I don't feel like writing stuff that could get raunchy when around her (why yes, I am an adult, but it's my ma we're talikng about.)  
> I remember someone offering to be a soundboard for me, and I really need that but as the person was not registered, I could not get in touch with them. The position is still vey much open if someone feels like listening to my ramblings and helping me find out the right way to get where I want to go. I've been writing fanfics for 15 years if not more but in this fandom, I seldom dare do it without someone to help me.  
> Well, on with a show, a Rylo POV for once.... Intrigued?

As he rode his horse, feeling the wind in his hair, Kylo had only one person on his mind:

 _Rey_.

He could swear he could still smell her on his clothes. He wished the scent would stick with him forever. Funny how a few hours could change one’s life.

_Earlier that morning_

When he woke up, first he was surprised: he had slept, something he so rarely did for longer than a couple of hours. Secondly, there was a woman in his arms, and he was aroused like he was fourteen again.

The events of the previous night came back to him. He remembered meeting her in the woods. She had looked so lost, and scared, but he had been able to perceive she was fighting to keep calm. She had slapped him so hard for a woman her size, when he had tried to provoke her into snapping back into reality. He could still taste his blood, but most importantly, he remembered the edge in her eyes.

She was not a whore, never meant to be one. She was a survivor.

When he had gotten a telegraph warning him about a young woman who had been spotted and was suspected of robbing shops and having done so for the past several years, he had never pictured the would be thieve would be such a lovely creature. He had put two and two together when Unkar had announced the auction for the virtue of a girl no one had ever heard about it.

She was sleeping in his arms, and he did not want her to wake. Hell, he wanted to stay in bed all day long, feeling her warmth. She managed to make him feel less cold, less alone, even while she was doing nothing. She smelt so good. He could get drunk on her scent.

The night before, he had not planned to bet for her, but after meeting her in the woods, and seeing her distress but also her courage, and he had found himself going back to his house and getting his money.

His plans had been to bid for her, win her, and then leave her, stay in the room with her for the people waiting downstairs, but he had not planned to touch her. Except, once they had been in close quarters, he could not keep his hands off her. He had tried to buy her some time safely, but she had responded to him in a way he had not expected. He remembered when she had said that calling him Kylo did not feel right, he had almost asked her to call him Ben, something that had surprised him, or more accurately left him flabbergasted.

When they had climbed the stairs, he had been enticed by the way she seemed to be looking for a way to make him regret his purchase. No one ever resisted him, man or woman. When he showed up, anywhere, with his badge or without it, people did his bidding. She had wanted to fight him. Fear had won in the end, but her first instinct, he respected it. He did not begrudge the fact that she had realized he had the upper hand, but he liked that she would have fought him if she had had any tools to do so. When they had been in the room, she had been so afraid. And he had not been able to resist the need to comfort her, and then to touch her.

She had responded to his touch in a way he had not expected. At first, when he had realized he had not been able to stay away from her, she had let him do things, had trusted him, had wanted him, not for who he was, but for the man he was.

It felt good to be seen. He had not realized until then how much he had missed it. He was not sure he had ever been… seen.

His thoughts were an utter mess, and he really wanted her. He thought quickly about what he could do. He had forced Unkar to give Rey the day off, to feed in the impression that he had consummated his purchase.

He hated letting her go, but he tore himself from her, covering her with the blankets so that she would not freeze. He wanted to kiss her but was afraid to wake her up. He settled for pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder. She moaned softly, and he moved away before he got back in bed. He dressed up as quickly as he could, once again to avoid giving in to temptation. He grabbed his hat, and with one last longing look at her fragile frame, he softly opened the door and exited her room.

Man, he felt like he could barely breath. However, he had things to do. Putting on his hat, and making sure his attire was spotless, he walked down the stairs. The saloon was empty, except for a few passed out drunks at a table or two.

He made his way to Unkar who was polishing glasses behind the bar.

“Plutt”, he told the man curtly.

“Sheriff,” the man answered. “I take you liked the prize you brought yourself last night,” he continued with a wink. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have paid an extra $20 to make sure she had the day off to recover. I always knew behind that holier than thou façade was just a brute like any other man. “

Kylo wanted to punch him in the face, to make one of his rotten teeth, or more, fall out of his mouth.

“Speaking of which, Rey told me about the contract she signed with you.”

“Standard procedure… Bazine and I have the same one, we renew it every six months,” Unkar said, finally realizing he was speaking to a man of law. “She never complained.”

“I believe you, for sure. However, I want to go over the fine prints with you. First of all, Rey told me you were only giving her two fifths of the auction money. I am quite certain it is a mistake, and you meant that she was getting at least half. I mean, two fifths would make sense if she had gone for, let’s say, $25, seeing as you would have organized the whole party with money coming from your own pocket but as the final bid was much higher, I believe you meant to update Rey’s share according to the latest bid, didn’t you?”

He could see the man flailing, trying to find a good counterpoint but had him cornered. The whole auction must have cost at best $15 to put together, advertisement included, and $90 seemed way too generous a return on investment.

“I understand what you mean, and of course, Rey will get half of what we made last night,” Unkar relented.

“Wonderful, let's take her contract out and amend it on the spot, with my notary abilities.”

He had none, but how was the man to know?

Grunting, Unkar went to his office and came back with the contract.

Kylo got his fountain pen out of his pocket when he noticed the man had brought a pencil, too easy to erase once his back was turned. He grabbed the contract, a meager piece of paper, and found the section where in barely legible script, Unkar had written Rey’s share for her special night.

“While I have the document, I will add a clause, saying that should Rey need money for a dress, underwear, perfume, whatever, you are not to take any cent of her share. When the six months roll by, you will hand her her share in full, and I will be here to count it.”

“But I thought you had requested to leave the region?”

“Well, I changed my mind.”

“How is Rey going to pay for her purchases then?”

“Very good question. Each night, you will both keep a tally of the money she brought back, and every Saturday morning, you will give her her weekly due. I suppose that you hold back a share for accommodation and more, but it cannot be more than 50%, otherwise it would pure and simple slavery….”

“Wait, wait, wait… Who do you think you are?”

“The man who can’t wait to throw your ass in jail if you give him a reason. In fact, I heard about a stray girl who you took in your employ, a native, and how you sold her to a band of cowboys for a hefty price, against her will. Perhaps I should investigate that…”

“Fine, fine… You win. That girl must have a magic twat or…”

He never got to finish his sentence as Kylo punched him.

“My nose!” Unkar exclaimed, holding his damaged appendix.

“I’m putting the clause in, and you will let Rey know about it. There it is notarized, and perfect.”

“Do you want to go over my contract, Kylo?” Bazine asked, coming out of nowhere.

“I’d rather eat salted slugs for the rest of my life. And you can call me “Sheriff”, or “mister Ren”. I am not your friend, nor will I ever be.”

She seemed to be the one sucking on a salted slug, but she huffed and puffed and went back to wherever she had come from.

“There, all is in order. I will be gone for the day, but if I hear that Rey was forced to work today, you will find yourself in jail so quickly you won’t have time to utter a word,” Kylo said.

“You filthy Yankee… Why don’t you go back to the North where you belong?”

“This is the Union, Plutt, and as a citizen, I belong everywhere I want.”

With this, he tilted his hat, and left the saloon.

_Back to the present_

Plutt was despicable. He did not trust him as far as he could throw him.

It was true he had asked to be transferred, hating the fact that he was in the vicinity of Snoke, his old tutor. However, he could not bring himself to go through with it.

He kept on riding, until he got to Tucson. When in town, he slowed his horse, and looked for the amenities he needed.

First, one thing was for sure, he was not leaving Jakku. Therefore, he went to the telegram’s office, something he could have done in the small shady town, but when he had left, he had not made up his mind yet. Now in Tucson, he ad. He sent a telegram to his officer, saying he was withdrawing his request to get away from his current assignment. Usually, Sheriffs were elected, but Arizona territory was too new a purchase to be able to organize such elections in small towns.

He looked around him when he left the post office and was torn. Part of him wanted Rey with him, but a prostitute in Tucson would be known and that stain would something she could never remove. However, he longed to take her shopping, to get her to a restaurant with him, and to make sure she ate her fill. The girl was lovely, but she was almost emaciated. He wondered what her past had been like.

And there he was, on planet Rey, once again. He shook his head and went back to his business.

Chastising himself, he went on his second errand, and perhaps his most important one.

He went to the bank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always please review!!! It means the world and makes me write faster!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but your words means the world... Please keep them coming! I dropped my mom at the train station last night and basically spent the night crying because she was gone. I was only able to start writing this morning. Here is to hoping you will enjoy it!

When she woke up, Rey felt like something was wrong. She turned in the bed and discovered the reason of her unease: she was alone.

Kylo had left. He had left her.

She rolled onto herself into a ball. He was just another name on the long list of people who had bailed on her. First her parents, especially her mother, and then the boy she had runaway from the orphanage with….

Was she simply not enough, for anyone to want to stick around?

She had to be…. Kylo’s run hurt even more, for she had thought they had shared something special the night before. She had offered herself to him, and even though he had not consummated their union, all signs pointed to him wanting to have his due. Perhaps in the dead of the night he had realized he was too good for a would -be lousy prostitute.

Which reminded her of the bigger picture.

She would have taken a few seconds to be amazed at the fact that she had actually forgotten her dire circumstances for a short while, but the despair was too big. Kylo had said that he had made sure she would not be working today, but what about the next day? It was just taking a step back knowing you would still need to jump over a cliff in the end. That step was just buying you some time, but it did not mean you would land more easily or safely.

She hated him.

Hate perhaps would have been a strong word, but she did. He had bought her, bought her virtue, the right to be the one to shed her blood, the one who would always be able to tell himself that if she became a good whore, then he would have done his job right. Or, if he did not care about such consideration, he could have brought himself a girl no one had had, and just have his way with her.

Instead, he had played her like she was a violin, had totally melted in his hands, and then he had gotten her in bed, to sleep. To sleep! Did he really not realize what it meant? Sure, he had bought her one day off, but when the next day came around, she would still be a virgin, and whoever would buy her would get her cherry.

“Jesus,” she uttered.

She realized she was still half naked, and left the bed which had become a symbol of another time she had not been up to par. She went to the closet and got out a silky robe. She hated it, it stank of whore, or what she thought she would smell like as a whore. She went to the dressing table and looked at her reflection. It reminded her of what she had done last night. To think not even a day had passed…

She looked at her face in the mirror, and battled the zillion thoughts running through her mind.

“It doesn’t show, you know,” Bazine said suddenly, and she almost jumped out of her skin.

“Get out!” She exclaimed, making sure the robe was tied around her.

“Whatever you say, whore,” the woman said before leaving the room.

Rey could not help but notice the fact that the woman was wearing a negligée, a robe she had not tied around her, and how comfortable she was with her body. She did not mind that anyone could see her, and she surely did not care about what people thought about her. In a strange way, Rey respected that about her. The woman knew who she was and did not care what people thought.

Rey took another look in the mirror, and sighed. Even if the old wife’s tale was founded, about women looking different after losing their virtue, well, there would be nothing to show. She was still the same girl as she had been the night before. Or was she?

The deal had not be sealed, but a lot had happened. She had surrendered her will and body to a complete stranger, who had turned out to be principled.

She did not feel the same. It did not show, Bazine was right, it was still the same moon face looking at her in the mirror, but inside, it felt like a tornado had passed by and ravaged who she thought she was.

Feeling tears trying to peak out her eyes, she went back to the bed, and rolled herself in the covers, going back to sleep, pretending she did not feel the wetness on her cheek ass he softly sobbed herself to oblivion.

When she woke up, much later, she still felt like roadkill, and but she figured she had to carry on. Kylo was just a man, and there would be many more in her life, according to the contract she had signed. She had had her weak moment, now it was time to ditch self-pity and wallowing, and put on her big girl dress, or rather, her whore outfit. She quickly dressed in some daywear which did not show too much skin and went downstairs.

Some patrons were there, drinking and for some, eating too. She spotted the grandfather clock and saw it was two in the afternoon. She tried to make her way silently to the kitchen, but Unkar was there, and he exclaimed:

“Here comes the magic twat.”

“Don’t you dare call me that, I am not your property. What happened to your face?” She found herself asking, though she knew she should be making a bigger point about the way he was addressing her.

“Just stating the facts. Before you came around, we had a Sheriff, and I hated having him in my saloon. He would get drunk, but never really drunk, he would remain in control. When he’s there, I make less money. He scares the customers unless he arrives very late and they’re already intoxicated.”

“I don’t see what this has to do with me.”

“Ren came this morning and made me raise your share of the auction. Why the fuck would you discuss these things with a customer? You’re not gonna make much money, are you?”

“He did? What did he say?” Rey asked, genuinely surprised someone had stood up for her.

“Yeah, now you get $75 for the auction, in full when your contract expires. He also renegotiated other things we had agreed with.”

“Such as?”

“I am not allowed to use your funds to buy your bare necessities, and I’m supposed to give you 50% of all money you make every Saturday so that you can buy your own stuff.”

What was this she was feeling? It resembled darn butterflies in her stomach. She wished for them to go to Hell. Kylo was principled, it had already been established, and he had decided to take her destiny in his hands while he still owned her. Damn him and his unwarranted attention, even though those were nice improvements to her contract.

“Since you got up so late, the girl who does your bedroom is gone. She’ll take your dirty sheets tomorrow morning. Here is to hoping you didn’t bleed too much, I would hate to have to pay for new sheets when you’ve just been at your job with one customer.”

Uh-oh, she had not thought about that. People would be expecting blood, wouldn’t they? That was traditionally the sign a virgin was no more.

Shit.

“Now, either go back to your room or make yourself square and unseen. I need you to be still novelty when you work tomorrow night.,” Unkar said.

“I need something to eat first….”

“Well, grab a plate, and go back wherever. I do not want to see you again. If you go out, use that disguise you had when you first came to me, the one that made you look like a girly boy. You can take a horse and do some shopping or look at the windows somewhere else.”

She did not answer, both for fear he would decide she was not worth the hassle, and because she did not trust herself to keep this conversation civil a second longer.

* * *

She felt dread and had a flash back to two nights before. She supposed the circumstances had changed. This time, whoever bought her would realize he had won the jackpot, if he realized it at all. Now that she was considered to have lost her virginity, Bazine had made sure to let her know that customers did not take gloves when it came to what they wanted, and she had had nightmares about that all night long.

She forced herself to stop thinking and went downstairs. There were some catcalls, but she ignored them. Bazine had said that a whore could gain some added value by acting a certain way. Unattainable was what she was going for. Bazine had said that it should be her brand, since she thought she was holier than them all, and that every man who would buy her would take pleasure in feeling like he had tamed a shrew.

She soon was occupied, bringing drinks to customers, fixing some when Unkar was too busy behind the counter, or laughing with his customers. She danced with a couple of men, each time hoping they would not decide to spend more money on her, but she did earn a little money with the dances. They all slipped her a few coins, before going to pay for the actual dance to Unkar. This was what she had wanted, to be a hostess, to help and lead the gentlemen or not so gentle men in the direction of the girls who did put out. Except, she was supposed to be one of those with her current contract.

She wore a red dress, and was once again reminded of blood, blood that would be spilled later. She watched from the corner of her eyes how Bazine interacted with the patrons. She had no qualms sitting on anybody’s lap as long as they had money. She would laugh even if they were dull, she would touch their face and then leave them with a sultry look.

Rey could never do that. Hell, she even felt awkward just dancing with those men. Some would hold her too tight, or try to touch her rear, and she had to remove their hands and pretend to laugh at their forwardness. She could barely recognize the person she was turning into.

In the kitchen, the cook was grilling steak after steak, along with some potatoes. It seemed like all you needed to keep a man happy was a dead cow and a potato.

She felt so out of her depth.

Nevertheless, she could not let it shine, or even be guessed. Therefore, she took a clue from the Bazine playbook, and kept her haughty attitude while giving men a glimpse of hope they could see her without her belt garter later.

In a sense, two nights ago had been much easier. Since she had not taken in the crows, she had never had to wonder if this horrible man or this shady looking one would be the one to buy the prize. Now, everyone of them was a possibility she had to consider and learn to live with. It made her sick.

The night was moving swiftly, as alcohol helped men find happiness in almost anything. She found herself dancing with a man, and immediately recognized him. He was the gold digger who had bid on her aggressively two nights ago.

“I didna have you then, but you’ll be mine tonight”, he said in her ears, and his fetid breath reached her nose.

”I would have liked to be first, but there no shame in being second best,” he went on.

Except he would be the first, if he did stake his claim. In the past, when it had been needed, she had been able to find solace in a corner of her mind where she was alone and the real world stop existing. Sadly tonight, the terror she felt made it impossible to retreat there.

“Excuse me, but you’re hogging the lady,” someone said, and Rey felt like a bone being chewed by two dogs.

She turned and met Kylo’s gaze. Did she want him there? Did she want him to save her once again? Or would he be postponing the unavoidable once again?

Fuck that, she wanted him to save her, once again, and the next day would be another nightmare, but at least, she would have lived through that night.

“You already got her after the auction,” the gold digger said. “It’s my turn.”

“I’m sorry to say, it is mine. I already claimed Rey for the night, ask Unkar,” Kylo went on.

He was showing no feelings and she couldn’t help but think he had to be amazing at poker.

He carefully pinned a white fake rose to her bosom. It was the way in this saloon, when a girl was purchased, she wore a pin. She could still dance and serve drink until her buyer or master decided he wanted her now.

The gold digger started cursing and let go of her, going to Unkar, who did not look too pleased.

Kylo grabbed her hand, and she was reminded of the night they had spent, of the way he had made her fell, and still did. She hated him, oh yes, but there was this part of her, this stupid part of her admittedly, who liked having a knight in shining armor.

He led them into a dance, and she relished the warmth of his embrace.

“Have you missed me Rey?” He asked, and his voice sent shivers down her spine.

“I barely had time to realize you were gone. Were you gone? “ She asked, though she knew he had been.

When walking in her boy like disguise, she had gone to the prison and the house attached to it, to try and figure out this particular man. She had, of course, gotten no answer, but she had hed felt just a tad less lonely.

“I had business to attend to,” he said, scowling.

Call it petty, call it whatever you pleased, but seeing him pouting because she pretended not to have noticed he was gone was a balm on her ever-hurting heart. It felt like some tit for tat.

“Unkar will ask you why my sheets were not stained,” she found herself whispering, and she wondered why she wanted to let him know.

“He did. I told him I was not aware I had agreed to keep all interactions on the naked bed so that he would get his pound of flesh, so to speak…”

“Shakespeare,” she found herself saying softly.

“You’ve read ‘The Merchant of Venice’?” He asked, and she noted that he was not being condescending.

“It was read to me.”

She felt herself blush. She could read, alright, but only simple words, that you needed to know when you were living on the streets.

Kylo said nothing, just brought his hand to the back of her head, and pushed her cheek against his chest.

She closed her eyes. This felt nice. This felt… right.

Stupid man and his soothing power.

After a while, he gave her a tip, making sure Unkar could not see it, then went to pay for the dances. Unkar was still arguing with the gold digger, explaining that the laws of offer and demand dictated his choice and it had nothing to do with favoring the Sheriff over him.

Rey clenched the coins before putting them in the secret pocket of her dress. When Rylo came back, he said the five words she had both dreaded and expected:

“Take me to your room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your thoughts are so welcome, and if you want to act as a sounding board, let me know! I sure could use one as you all know by now!


	6. Chapter 6

Kylo had only been back for a few moments when he had seen that the saloon was open and its business in full swing. He had washed away the filth from riding best he could in the little time he had, and then he had made his way to Platt’s lair.

There she had been, dancing with filthy men who did not deserve a second of her time, even if they were paying for it.

Even though his first instinct had been to barge in and make a scene, especially now that his pouch was filled, but there had been something about her, that had kept him hypnotized. Knowing he would probably never really get the chance again, he had hid in a corner, and watched her move around.

When he had left Tucson, he had stopped at every saloon he had encountered, asking if they had heard about a girl named Rey looking for a job. The first three had been bust, but the fourth had proven to be a good one. The manager, a man he had no ill will toward had calmly explained that yes, he had been approached by a woman wanting to be a hostess, and not a whore, and her description had fit Rey.

 _His Rey_.

The woman wanted to dance, hold the bar, order food, just do everything but the things that people paid hard money for. As he was too lost in the middle of nowhere, the saloon owner had explained to the girl that she should find a grander saloon, and had also warned her, that if there was not at least a Sheriff in town, and more whores, she would be extremely vulnerable.

“I mean, I dunno if you have a wife, but men in these parts? They’re not used to ladies, let alone girls. I told her she would need to get used to the idea of selling more than dances, but that in good conscience, I could not be the one making money on her back, so to speak. My mother was a whore, for better of worse, and she was killed when I was seven by a crazy customer. I was lucky that the owner had taken a liking to me, but he kept me around, made me do odd jobs, until one day, he passed, and I found out that he had put me as his next of kin on the property deed. With my history, I just could not be the one pulling that poor girl into this universe.”

It had been sort of touching, in a bizarre way. The man had a heart. However, the man had never been willing to fight for someone who was not him. If he cared so deeply about what would become of Rey, why hadn’t he kept her with him, at his saloon, to help him, being a hostess, and threatening customers with a shotgun if need be? That would have been the Christian thing to do. Then again, you needed courage to fight what society expected of you. So many lacked such courage.

It had run through his mind as he had witnessed her moving around the saloon. She had kept a façade up, and he had heard some customers call her “the empress”, as if they had any idea what that meant. They called her Queen Victoria, because of her accent, and he had to admit he had been taken aback upon discovering the Prize was British or had learnt to speak with a subject of the frumpy queen.

She danced, holding her head high, not speaking to the one buying a spin across the room. He had seen the men trying to make her more amenable at the end of each dance by dropping her a little extra before going to Unkar, but she had been smart enough never to dance twice with the same man, so that he would not be able to expect anything from the money he had dropped directly in her hand.

She was a wonder, he thought, watching her dance gracefully with another two left-feet shady looking customer. She oozed grace and they oozed disgusting things.

He felt rage each time one of them would try to remove their hand from her waist and put it lower, but she always found a trick to put it back in place, and move in to another customer. She sure was in high demand, and that meant she would be the center of attention later on.

Bazine had tried to pick him up, not seeing that he was the Sheriff she knew, too focused on the pouch of money she could spot in his trousers. He had pushed her aside. He wondered what kind of nonsense she had filled Rey’s head with.

He wondered if Rey would want him back.

Then, the gold digger took Rey for a dance, and forcefully purchased another one, and he had to intervene. He went to Unkar, bought the access to Rey’s chambers that night. The man had wanted to make a lewd comment, but he seemed to remember what had happened to his nose.

He let him pay, but only for that very night. Bastard. What use was this money in his pocket if he could not buy more? A night was $5 dollar, but a girl could be purchased by the hour, at $0.50. Kylo had paid the full amount, shivering inwardly at the thought of a queue of men, waiting outside a girl’s chambers to have their turn. Rey would not endure that, no Sir, she just wouldn’t….

And then he had cut in and pissed off the gold digger. He did not care, what had mattered had been Rey’s reaction. She had looked at him like she did not know how she felt, and he had adored it. He had realized that he was the only seeing it and reading her this way.

 _So far_ , an insidious voice said in his head, but he pushed it back when relief won over and just let herself go in his arms. He would protect her, alright.

He had both hated putting the pin on her décolleté and loved it. There was something primal about staking a claim, and he wanted to roar. They had danced some more, and he had found himself giving her a few extra coins for her to hide.

When he asked her to take him to her room, he was however, facing a conundrum.

What they had shared the last time. Lord, he was getting hard just thinking about it. However, she was no whore. Maybe to the rest of the world she seemed to be, but he knew the truth.

 _Don’t be a prick, what are you, a fucking genius who can read people’s souls? Do you have powers? Are you God’s weapon or some nonsense like that? Of course not, you’re just a man, and she’s just a girl,_ he chastised himself.

Then proceeded to bite his tongue, for she was not a girl. She led him upstairs and they went back to the same room.

He noticed that though there was a keyhole, she did not seem to have the key. They entered, and that was when he had to really getting himself under control.

If it had been up to him, he would have had her on every horizontal or vertical surface, as he had told Unkar when asked about why her sheets were not stained. He had pretended to have taken her against the wall, and it had pleased the bastard.

When in the room, she let go of his arm, and seemed to be filled with nervousness once again, like the first night, except this time, she did not seem to fear him, or not fear him too much.

He went to the window where the alcohol was stacked and got her a shot of whiskey. Thankful, she took it and downed it in one go.

He could tell right there and then that she had not had anything to eat, as the alcohol seemed to hit her hard and fast, faster than the last time.

He went away from her, not trusting his instincts, and sat on her bed, slowly removing his gloves. He threw them with his hat on the ground.

He had not expected her to pour herself another shot and come to sit next to him on the bed, nursing her drink.

“Why did you buy me again?” She finally asked.

“Because I wanted to.”

That was the truth.

He did not expect her to laugh, but she did.

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to insult you. I just had a bet with myself.”

“Hum, what sort of bet,” he asked, grabbing her drink and downing it so that she would not get too intoxicated.

“I figured you would be the kind of gentleman who when asked why he did something would answer “simply because”, and you have to live with that being your only answer.”

“I bought you, because I could not get you out of my head,” he said, almost against his will yet unable to stop, as if she had some powers of her own to make him spill his guts. “I bought you again because there is a part of me that likes the fact that you call me a gentleman when I am not one. I bought you because next to you, I found sleep. I bought you because you fascinate me, and I always take what I want.”

“Oh”, she said, blushing, and he regretted his tirade.

“So,” he said, trying to get this conversation started again,” someone read to you Shakespeare?”

“Some of it. Not all. Do you want me to undress, Kylo?” She asked, and he resisted the urge to jump off the bed. The answer was a loud resounding yes, dear God, he wanted her naked, and aroused, and begging for him, but she was just playing things the way she remembered them going the last time they were together.

“We’ll undress later.”

“Do you not find me attractive, Kylo”? She asked, and he had to remind himself it was the liquor.

He got up from the bed this time, and went back to the alcohol tray, looking for something to give her to munch on. There was nothing.

“Do you have anything to eat?” He asked her as he looked through other things on her dressing table.

“No, but I can order something. Are you hungry?”

“Just order some snacks, whatever you feel like,” he said, and she went to the side of her bed, where he noticed there was a tube sealed shut until she removed the lid and said:

“Can someone get us slices of that peach pie Finn made earlier? It’s Rey, by the way.”

She then put back the lid on.

She looked at him and seemed to sense that he was surprised, to say the least.

“It’s a way to communicate with the kitchen easily. Also, if a girl is in real trouble with a customer, if she manages to un-pop the lid, the kitchen hears the ruckus, and the cook can come up. Later on, Unkar will decide to side with the customer, but the people in the kitchen told me about that.”

There was rage brewing inside him, at the idea that some girls had to be mistreated in the past for the kitchen helps to decide and do what Unkar would never do, stand up for the girls.

Soon enough, a knock was heard on their door, and he went, retrieving two plates filled with peach pie slices and cutlery. He was not hungry, food tasted like sand to him more often than not, but he took the plates back to the bed where Rey still was and handed her one of the two. They ate in silence, and he had to admit that it was a completely decent pie, something surprising given the state of Unkar business.

“Who is Finn?” Kylo suddenly asked as he remembered the name that she had mentioned.

“He is one of the cooks.”

What was it he was feeling? Surely, it could not be jealousy at the affection she seemed to have for him.

“Do you know him well?” he asked, trying to keep his tone even.

“I know that he was the first one to be kind to me when I moved here,” she said between two bites.

“That’s not a real answer,” he said.

“Then again, you did not give me an answer earlier,” she replied, coming up to him until their knees were brushing, hers covered by thighs, and his by his trousers, and he could have sworn they were both naked.

“What was the question again?” He pretended to rack his brain.

“Do you not find me attractive, Kylo,” she asked again, putting her empty plate on the dressing table next to the seat where he had taken refuge.

“What make you think I do not want you?”

“You do not want me to undress…”

He was getting short of breath once again, with her scent in his nose. Lord, he had missed it. To think it had been only two days...

“I would love for you to undress,” he finally said, “but I also would like to learn more about you, and I know there will be none of that if you’re not dressed.”

He did not expect himself to tell her the truth, but there it was.

She blushed, and flushed, licked her bottom lip, then said:

“Finn is just an acquaintance, though I hope that one day, he will be a friend. People give him hell, because his parents were freed after the war and the proclamation, and he was born free.”

She was cunning, he realized, for she had given him all the clues to realize why he was being set aside by the other cooks. He was the son of former slaves.

“Do you like him?” He heard himself ask.

She laughed, in a womanly fashion, something that had to be instinctive, and just purely feminine…. There was no way one could be taught how to let out a chuckle that made a man hard just upon hearing it.

“I like the fact that he doesn’t mind that I’m a whore. Some of the cooks hold their nose up to me, but the chief, he is the one who told me about coming to save me if there was a need. Apparently, Unkar let one of his previous girls get mistreated very badly by a bunch of – pardon my French – bastards. The chief, Snap, still feels very badly about the fact that he was unable to protect her. “

“And that’s it?” He pursued, sadly aware of what had happened to the girl.

“Yes, that’s all there is between me and Finn. Later, when I’m settled, I will do his errands for him, since people won’t sell him anything because of the color of his skin.”

He felt torn apart, firstly by jealousy but mostly by pride at the thought that his girl had not solved her own situation, was suffering from uncertainty due to her circumstances, yet she was making plans to help someone she felt was worthy of her going out of her way.

Would she consider him worthy of her time and help? He had never wished for anything more fervently.

“Thank you for the pies, Kylo, I had not realized how hungry I was.”

“You’re quite welcome, doll,” he said.

“Doll?” She asked, with an eyebrow arched.

He did not know where it had come from, but he liked it. She was no ordinary doll, but she definitely was one of a kind.

“What did you do when you were away?” she asked

“What did you do while I was away?” he countered.

“You first.”

He thought about it, and she said:

“I’ll tell you what I did, tit for tat. We’ll shake on it, if you want?” She offered, presenting her lovely dove hand.

In truth, there was no way he could have denied her, but he pretended to give it a thought, before taking her small hand in his gigantic one, loving the feeling of her skin against his.

“I needed to find a town with a bank, since I spent all my coins here the last time I was here,” he said, still holding her hand. “Then I did some errands and made sure to get caught up on all the criminal activities that fall under my jurisdiction.”

He did not want her to know about the fact that he should have been ready to leave. In fact, he wanted to forget it himself.

“What about you, doll?”

“I did nothing. I woke up, and you were gone.”

“I did not want to wake you….”

“You do not have to explain. I suppose it’s just silly feminine feelings and insecurities, but I wondered if I had displeased you. Then I went back to bed. Unkar forbade me to go out unless under a disguise, and I did, I saw the town. I spent the day today getting to know the saloon better.”

There was the monster again, in his chest, and he was certain he was growling.

“You should not be a prisoner…”

“I was not, he wanted to keep me some sort of surprise to gain some new curious customers tonight.”

He wondered what to say next, then forgot how to think when he felt her thumb caress his skin.

“Do you want me to undress now, Kylo?” She asked again, and he was certain he purred, or she did.

Maybe they both did.

“Where do you come from Rey?”

“That’s a tale for another night….”

“I will have to buy you again,” he said, pretending like it was not his intention, period.

“Guess so…. In the meantime, do you want me to undress?”

“Don’t be weirded out,” he heard the word come out of his mouth, and then he grabbed her oh so slim waist and got him closer to him.

She was still on her feet, and he pulled so that he could put his face against her upper belly, and near her chest.

She seemed surprised, but her hands went to his hair, and she started playing with his locks.

He breathed her in, taking what he needed.

He did his best not to crush her, but boy, was the need potent.

Finally, he looked up, and said:”

“I’ll undress you, dove, but tonight we won’t play, I’m too tired for that, after the two days I had. Since we already established I would have to purchase you again, it’s just something we’ll do another night.”

Or next night, but he was pretty sure she had to have figured it out.

“Oh”, she said.

Or maybe she did not have it figured out….

“I want you, Rey, I want to tun my hands all over you, and my lips, and to cover your body with mine. However, I spent two days on a horse, I would make a terrible lover tonight. Next night, I’ll be better. Tonight, I just want to go to sleep, knowing I have the most beautiful girl I have ever held in my arms.”

She blushed and then turned, giving him access to her corset.

He quickly undid the laces and removed everything but her bloomers once again. He rose to remove his jacket, his shirt, and kept on once again his pants. He just did not trust himself not to find himself violating her in their sleep.

She went to her side of the bed, removing the pins in her hair, and Lord, he wanted to kiss that swan neck of hers…. Then he saw her reach for a vial and drink its content.

“What was that?” He enquired.

“A potion not to have a child. I will be given some every night. I had it on the morning after you bought me for the first time. Even though I do not think you can get pregnant from sharing a bed, Unkar would get mighty suspicious if I did not make it vanish.”

And there was the beast again, but Kylo could not rein it in. Though it should have been the last thing she did, Rey came to him, in all her almost naked glory, and put her hands on his shoulders, then on his neck, to force him to look her in the eys.

“What is going on, Kylo?”

“I do not like. I have heard of such potions before, and brewed by the wrong hands, they do more damages than they prevent anything from happening. I don’t trust Unkar to be getting the good kind.”

“Well, unless you finally take my virtue tomorrow, we’ll just toss the content of the next vial out the window, would that make you feel better?”

He said nothing, feeling amazed.

Why did she trust what he was saying? He was no doctor, and he surely could not tell her that the other thing that was driving him mad was the fact that Unkar was using her like the opposite of a mare, making sure she could not get with child and have to forego their contract. For a fleeting moment, he had a picture in his head of Rey with a rounded belly…

“You are buying me again tomorrow?” she asked after a while, looking oh so uncertain and insecure he wanted to punch himself in the cock for having made her feel not good enough or whatever.

“Of course I am, dove.”

“Doll and dove,” she laughed, trying to bring back cheeriness In their banter. “Are those to be my names?”

_“I’ll call you whatever you want….”_

He caught himself before saying it out loud, and just put a very chaste kiss on her offered mouth.

He would be going to the next town tomorrow, where they had a doctor, and he would be bringing back a barrel of no-baby potion for her to have, something made by someone with a degree. Unkar could go fuck himself with his half-assed products and the way he always managed to find the product for half the price and a quarter the quality.

She looked at him and there was laughter in her eyes.

Not quite sure where this was coming from, he started tickling her, and she erupted in a shower of laughter. He grabbed her again, and lifted her above his head, before placing her gently on the bed. She climbed under the cover, and he did the same. She backed herself into his arms, and he locked them around her waist. Oh Jesus, he so could get used to this, he thought before slipping into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, it means the world and let me know whether I'm doing a good job. You can also reach me at persephone-proserpine on tumblr if you have questions.  
> Still looking for someone to help with this story.
> 
> Hope you like this part, please let me know!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to juniorjewel96 over at Tumblr for looking over this chapter and letting me ramble off with my ideas!

He woke up when he felt the sun on his face. Not wanting to be bothered further, he burrowed deeper into his woman’s embrace and tried to hide his face in her hair. It did not work, and he felt shock upon realizing he had thought the words “his woman” in such a natural fashion.

Rey was magnificent in his arms, but then again, he had yet to see her at anytime not being breathtaking and wonderful. She was pressed against his front, her hands on his lower stomach, and he was reminded that _all_ of him was awake. He was hard as rock, and if she did not pay closer attention, she would find herself playing with a new toy made by the Solo heir.

Wait, Solo? Ren. Ren was his last name.

Jesus, so much for letting the past die…

Then again, he knew where his money was coming from, and why he had been able to make such a huge bid for Rey’s virginity.

He shook his head, hating where his thoughts were jumping so early that morning.

However, he had a job to do, no matter how small Jakku was. Therefore, and much to his dismay, he started getting ready for the day to come.

* * *

Rey felt cold suddenly as if someone had dumped water on her back, something that had happened in the past, when she had been discovered and chased away. She almost jumped out of the bed, looking around frantically, trying to find out what was happening.

She was safe, she was dry, she was in her bed. She hugged the cover closer to her chest and looked around. She saw Kylo, sitting in front of the dressing table, one boot on. He was looking at her as if he was just as surprised and upset as she had been seconds earlier when she had woken up.

_Kylo_

“I am sorry…” She uttered.

“Did I wake you?” He asked, and his voice was gruffier than normal in the morning.

She must look a mess, she thought, but there was nothing she could do about it.

“You did not. Are you leaving?” She asked, hating herself for stating the obvious.

“I have to go back to the prison. I booked one guy last night for shoplifting, if his wife had decided to take him back, she should be waiting in front of the jailhouse to get him out. Otherwise, I need to decide what the next step will be.”

It seemed so cozy, and menial, but in a good way. They were sharing, even though they had not shared their bodies yet.

Why was this coming back to her? She should be happy she was not being raped, and she was, praised be the Lord, but this situation they were in… It was weird.

“Were you going to wake me before you went?” She asked, and she wanted to slap herself for sounding so needy.

She did not need anyone. She had made it so far on her own, she should not get used to relying on people.

“I would have let you sleep,” he answered after a while, having put both boots on.

She got out of bed, and she went to stand close to him, wrapped in the sheet.

This was… absurd. He had bought her, for the second time, and they were being shy and awkward, and he still had not gotten what he had paid for…

She had problems piecing together their evening after that drink of whisky, as she had drunk on an empty stomach, but surely she would know if they had consummated whatever they had.

“Come here,” he said, in that gruffy voice of his, and she came closer.

He put his gigantic hands around her waist and pulled her closer until he could put his cheek against her belly. This seemed to bring back a memory of him doing the same the night before.

Her hands went to his hair, and she caressed his cheeks and the stubble growing there.

“You are coming back tonight and buying me again, right?” She found herself asking. “I did not dream that part…”

“You were pretty out of it, but no, you did not make that part up. I will come back tonight. I will buy you again, even though I hate the notion. I would like to prefer to think I’m… investing in your future.”

“My future as a whore?”

“Rey, doll, you could never be a whore. It’s not who you are. I’m not saying whores are bad or good people. Some do it like you because they have no choice, others enjoy being wanted and making a living out of it. In between those two examples, there’s a million stories we just don’t know.”

“I think Bazine likes to be wanted…” Rey said, unsure of where this was headed.

She was a whore, no matter what he said and did, or had not done yet. One day, sooner or later, she would have to open her legs, and stare at the ceiling as whomever used her body. There would be no future going forward. She would be marked. She would be tainted. She was already so, if she was honest. The moment she had signed that piece of paper with Unkar, she had sealed her fate, and it did not look good.

“I think she likes it too, and it’s fine. I mean, if she considers that she is getting a good deal with Unkar, and sticking around, good for her… Did Unkar told you about the amendments to your contract?”

“He did,” she said with a shy smile. “And he was rather ornery about it. You did not have to do that.”

“Maybe. I wanted to though.”

“Then who am I to complain?”

“Your very own person, allowed to complain about anything and everything.”

She felt weepy but did not give in. He made it sound like this situation they were in was fixable, like there was a solution, like she would not always carry her past with her around, knowing what she had done to survive, having to bear its weight.

“Kylo, I am sorry, but I just don’t get you.”

“Good,” he said, his voice muffled against the cover.

“Good?” she echoed.

“Yes. That way you will never be disappointed when I purchase you, we will have more to talk about, and you will be able to try and get me. As a fair warning, I should let you know, I don’t get me either.”

She laughed, and she felt him smile against her stomach.

“Wake me up, before you go, tomorrow. I don’t like waking up in this bed and having to piece back my night, I’m always afraid of what I will find out I did or was done to me.”

“Nothing will be done to you,” he said possessively, grabbing her wrist where he pressed a soft kiss.

“Kylo, you cannot be my knight in shining armor…. What’s done is done. Now I need to learn to live with the deal I made with the devil I barely knew, but who seemed better than the one I didn’t know.”

“Always be weary of Plutt. I have never heard anyone say he had an interest in women, but I would hate for him to look at you and suddenly tell himself that he’s allowed a taste of what he’s offering.”

She wanted to vomit at the idea.

“I’m always weary of Plutt. I don’t trust him, and he is not that bright. Sure he knows letters and words, and the law I guess, but I can see through him. . He is used to dealing with people who are too frightened by how tall he is to say anything to him.”

“Good. And I’ll be your knight in shining armor if I want to.”

“Whatever you say…”

“I say. Believe me, I’m saying it.”

She started biting her lower lips. She did not know where he came from, if he was born in Jakku or a migrant like her. She did not know if he had had a good life or a bad one. She did not know why he had become a Sheriff. The thing was, he did not know her either. He did not know she was always planning things at least three days in advance if not more. He did not know how much she needed to know about what was in store for her to be able to deal. She had spent so much time on the street, never knowing when her next meal would be. She could not let her guard down. However, he made her want to, and perhaps it made him more dangerous than anyone else. He would be coming back tonight and they would have another night, and it was great, but what about the next day? And the one after that? But she could not ask, no sir, she just could not. How could he know when his interest in her would fade?

“I was thinking, if you want, I have ‘The Merchant of Venice’ back at home. I could bring it back tonight, and I could read it to you. You said you had trouble reading, didn’t you? We could try to remedy to that?” He offered, lifting his head so that his eyes would meet hers.

She would blame it on the morning, the night she had had, whatever struck her fancy, but he was just so darn… adorable. She grabbed the back of his head and put a kiss on his lips. He gently opened her own with his tongue, and soon, were it not for his hands, she would have crumbled to the floor.

He growled again, and it reminded her of their first night.

“I’ll take that as a yes? I will take it along then. Or more accurately, I will put it on your window some time today, using the barrel you used that night I met you in the forest, so that I won’t come in the saloon carrying literature. We don’t want to arouse suspicions.

“Kylo,” she said, and she felt herself blush.

He waited, gave her time, but she could not bring herself to finish the sentence she had started.

“Rey, dove, tell me.”

“I need you to tell me dirty things.”

“What?”

He did not seem outraged, but she could tell from his look that he knew she did not mean that he had to talk dirty to her.

“Bazine… She likes to pick on me. I keep ignoring her. But she asks things, and I don’t have the answer. Do you like … receiving attention? Should I inadvertently not so inadvertently let it slip that you are a demanding lover, or something else?”

“I am hating this conversation, but I guess I can see your point.”

He looked out the window for a few minutes and she wondered what was going on through that head of his. She kissed his hair, and he caught her lips chastely before saying:

“Is there anything Bazine is fixated on?”

“Hum…” She thought, trying to gather her thoughts. “She often asks if you plowed me like a peasant. She talks about your sex. She wants to know how big it is.”

Oh yes, she was blushing and could have passed as a tomato.

“Just tell her that my dick is not the feature you like the most. And when she asks you then what is, just say something along the lines of “that mouth”.”

She gave him a weird look, wondering what he meant, then he put his hand in front of her womanhood, protected by the sheet, before placing a kiss next to his hand.

“Oh! Oh!” She said as she understood. “But I thought men hated that?”

“Fuck men. And fuck them. I am the one fucking you in their minds. Let us reclaim that narrative. And believe me, if we get there, you will discover that not all the work should be the woman’s.”

She wanted to blush so badly but could not get any redder, until he winked at her. She laughed, and he tickled her.

“Oh no you didn’t!”

And then he chased her around in the room, as she swatted his hands away. Finally, he grabbed her, and kissed hard on the mouth.

She could not help but think about what else his mouth could do.

_Dirty Rey._

“Want to make my day unbearable?” He asked.

She nodded, curious.

“Drop the sheet.”

She found herself biting her lower lip again, but there was this spark in his eyes, this heat in his stare.

Who had she become? She thought as she let the sheet fall to the ground.

He took her in, and clenched his fists, as if wanting to do more.

“Kiss me,” He begged, and she did.

It was hot and hard, demanding and soft. It was everything.

And then he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to juniorjewel96 for looking it over!   
> This is the sort of rythm you should expect for the next fex weeks. I've got vacation time in one month but in the mean time, one chapter per week is assured, and one more if the week is slow can happen but would be a treat for me to have the time to write it.  
> Thank you so much for understanding!

When she got herself together again, Rey put the sheet back on before going for one of the negligees in the dresser. There were so many of them, but she picked the first one, randomly, for they were all the same to her. Kylo did not seem to care for them, or maybe he did, and they just were not sufficiently acquainted for her to know it.

She disliked them. She could see that they were meant to tease a man, but to her, virgin her, it felt like the proverbial red sheet in front of a bull’s eye, and she was not certain she would ever be able to dodge the furious beast.

She was such a terrible whore, she told herself for the umpteenth time. Yet, for the first time, she heard Kylo’s voice in her head, insisting she was no whore, just someone doing what needed to be done to survive. It felt nice even though it was fleeting, and she was back to considering herself as a prostitute quickly enough.

She wondered who and what they were to one another and for how long they would keep this charade up. She liked Kylo, and not just because he had saved her, but because he saw the woman before the cunt. He made her feel things she had only dreamt about, and even then; her reveries could not compare…

She was still in her room, debating whether or not to go down for breakfast around the same time Bazine would be having hers, in order to drop the hint Kylo had given her when the young migrant who was in charge of doing her bedroom came in.

“I’m sorry, Miss,” the girl said, “I didna know you were in here!”

Rey focused on the girl, searching for her name and found it:

“It’s alright Rose, I was dilly dallying. I’ll get out of your way.”

“I can come back,” the girl insisted, but Rey only needed to put a robe on before going down for breakfast.

The Asian started picking things around, and her hands ended up on Rey’s bloomers.

“I meant to ask,” Rose said, “I hadn’t seen any of those before. I thought only fancy ladies wore them…”

Rey was aware she was an oddity in many ways, but the bloomers were something she had been taught and been used to at the orphanage. One of the caretakers had been raped in her youth, leading her to look for a life where interactions with men would be minimal, and she had once told a very young Rey that bloomers were a layer of protection even though when a man was after something, you usually could not find him off. As a vagabond, she had kept on finding or stealing some, part as habit but also because she had slept one too many nights in the streets, and the words shared by the scared caretaker resonated in her head. Furthermore, when she had had her cycle, bloomers had made it easier for someone who could not afford the protection some stores sold. Rey had stolen some once and had ended up with chafed thighs and blood everywhere.

For the first time ever, Rey realized that Kylo had not enquired about those. They were not sensual in any case, but he had never commented on them ruining the overall look, like Bazine had said that very first night. No, Kylo just seemed to want her to do as she pleased, which felt pretty abnormal given that as her customer he was supposed to be her lord and master.

As fate was a fickle female dog, they both heard a thump on the ledge of the main window.

Rey spotted a dash of black hair and saw the volume she had just been gifted for the night.

“What was that?” Rose asked, going in the direction of the noise.

“Nothing,” Rey answered but she was not quick enough and they both went for the window. Rey could see Kylo’s shape fading away in the distance.

“Is that a book?” Rose asked.

“Why yes it is,” the courtesan answered, as if there was nothing odd about anything.

“Was it left on your window, or…”

“I left it on the window. I poured some water on the pages I was reading and wanted the sun to dry it up nicely,” Rey span a yarn on the spot.

She opened the window to retrieve the precious item and would have sworn she could feel Kylo’s warmth on it, knowing instinctively he must have perused it before bringing it over.

“I wish I knew how to read,” Rose sighed. “Then again, they would not trust me more if I had some letters…”

She seemed to have an argument with herself silently before saying:

“No point in wondering what could be or what would have been, all that matters is what is now.”

And with that, she left the room for a moment, leaving Rey in absolute conflict about what she and Kylo were to one another and the astuteness of the girl, for what they could be or could have been did not matter. All that did was what they were. She needed to figure out that part out now, period, and for how long.

She held the tome close to her heart. It smelled faintly of him. She smiled. She wished she was a better reader. She remembered fondly when the old nun who came to teach them the words of the Lord, and who often indulged in reading from the Bard. Being at the orphanage had not been a good experience altogether, but it surely had to be better than living on the streets before she could look out for herself. She had run away when she was eleven because girls were being raised in accordance with two possible futures, becoming a nun or becoming a wife. The orphanage would sell pretty girls who had bled to men to be married. It was a way to pay for the rest of the children.

Neither option had appealed to Rey, so she had fled. And now she was finding herself forced to live somewhere…. Well, that was all that could be said about Jakku, really. It was somewhere. It was on a map.

She heard Rose come back in with clean sheets, so she hid the book in her dresser, and grabbed a robe before going downstairs for breakfast.

Bazine and Unkar were talking, plotting really it seemed, as they stopped talking when she showed up. They would have made a good couple if he liked women and she liked belonging to only one man. They were both equally bad and mean.

She took a seat, ate, and managed to drop the innuendo she had been gifted with, making Bazine gasp and look a little green with envy. All in all, it was not a bad morning.

* * *

“ He hath disgraced me and hin… hind….”

“Hindered,” Kylo said patiently, showing her each letter as he spoke them and how they all worked together.”

She had danced and waited on several dubious men, waiting for the moment when Kylo would arrive. Luckily, he had gotten there just before the night had been about to settle in and men got really rowdy. He had gone to pay for her, put the pin on her dress, and they had gotten upstairs.

She had gone for the alcohol tray, but he had grabbed her hand and spun her around, making her laugh before planting a kiss which had left her breathless on her lips. Then, he had suggested they try and read.

As a teacher, most people would probably find his method…. Unorthodox at best. She was seated on his knees, on a chair in front of the dressing table. He had his head in the crook of her neck and was reading above her shoulder. She often could not help but look at the picture they formed in the mirror, and she found that she liked it a lot, like the woman she saw looking back at her, before he chastised her and made her focus on the text again.

“Hindered…” She repeated.

She tried to find her place on the page again, then held in a sigh before asking:

“Can we leave at that for tonight, please? I really appreciate you taking the time to educate me, but my head is beginning to ache and I worry I will not be pleasant company if we go on…”

“You could never be unpleasant company, but of course.”

He then finished Shylock’s monologue:

“He hath disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies—and what’s his reason? I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?”

He pushed the book aside even though it was not entirely done, but he had chosen to leave it at a point before Shylock started talking about revenge and getting his pound of flesh.

They stayed silent, with Kylo beneath her, his body radiating heat, making her feel light-headed, but good. She felt like the choice of their reading was not random… With Shylock claiming being a Jew did not make him less human, she could not help but wonder and strongly suspect if Kylo was hinting at her seeing herself as a different sort of woman, a dirty one, when he saw only a woman.

She put her hands on top of his gigantic ones, locked around her waist. She compared their size and thought that he could have covered her whole waist without stretching his fingers. When she looked up, she met his gaze in the mirror, and she felt a content smile fall on her lips.

If things had been different… She was starting to really regret her choices in life.

“What is going on through your head?” He asked, and she loved feeling the vibrations of his throat against her skin.

“I chose becoming a whore because I did not want to end up in jail. I am starting to wonder if perhaps I did not play my cards right. Ending up in your prison would not have seemed like such a punishment…”

He seemed torn, between wanting to agree with and something else.

“I can see your point,” he finally said, “but I am a man of the law. I had caught you, I do not think we would have gotten to know one another the way we did, and I cannot be certain I would have wanted to spare you the full extent of the law. You did a big impression on me, that night in the woods. It really shaped and informed the rest of my decisions.”

“Are you saying I should be thankful I am Unkar’s property for six months, since he got me to slap you and intrigue you?”

“You are no one’s property but your own. Men may pay a fee for the pleasure of your company, but at the end of the day, you still only belong to yourself.”

“You know that is not how people see me.”

“Then let what people think die. Did you know that in Ancient Greece, there was a man, named Pericles, he made so many great things and gave us democracy in many ways. His woman was not his wife, she was a courtesan named Aspasia, a hetaera. He had brought the pleasure of her company for she was highly demanded and could afford to pick who would be lucky enough to be in her presence. She picked Pericles. She taught him politics. She gave him a son and gave up her trade to be with him. Many people hate her, but you have to acknowledge the good she did.”

“How can we know such a thing? How do you know that?” She asked, turning to look him in the eye.

“I had a tutor when I was younger. My parents wanted me to have the best education. This tutor told me about Aspasia. He told me about the fact that she was probably sent by the Devil and Pericles would have been greater without her, but I do not believe it. I believe she changed his life.”

“And he changed hers…” She found herself whispering.

“I truly believe you should see yourself as a hetaera. I am lucky enough to have been allowed your company.”

She laughed and looked away as she felt herself blush.

“Kylo, you are being way too nice, but I really believe we are not doing things right…”

“We decide what is right and what is wrong.”

“I should be on my back, and you should be doing…. What men do…”

“Says who?”

“Says me!” She exclaimed, jumping off his lap.

She did not want to start a fight, but she had known disappointment too often, and she would rather take the initiative before letting someone hurt her again. They needed to figure out things. If he would not have that conversation or do his part, then she would confront him about it.”

“Rey….”

“What happens when you’re out of town one night and I have to be with someone else?”

“I don’t want to think about that,” he said in a low voice, clenching his fists and she was worried he would punch the mirror.

“But you need to. I need to. I need to know.”

“I can’t bear the thought of one of those peasants touching you…”

“Yet you won’t touch me either…”

“Do you want me to lift up your skirt against the wall, and drop my pants, and be done with it? Would that satisfy you? Because it won’t, I know it won’t and you deserve better.”

She sighed.

“I… I do not know what I want. I only know when you bought your prize, you opened a new world for me, and now you seem intent on keeping me away from it. I know Unkar won’t let you buy me in advance. I know you sometimes have to leave town. What if you were called out tomorrow, and had to leave? We both would have to do what we would need to do.”

“You… You could tell Unkar you’re indisposed, until I come back.”

What an outrageous discussion.

Yet, she supposed he was not wrong, though it would seem suspicious, but Unkar had told her that he wanted her locked in her room when she was “on the rag” as he would say, away from his clientele.

“It would work once, maybe twice.”

“It would give use time to get our bearings together.”

“I guess it’s a good thing that I rarely… bleed,” she said softly.

It was true. She would get it every other month or so.

“How can it be a good thing? It means you were not fed well enough for your body to spare the blood without injuring you,” Kylo said, and once again she was amazed by all the things he seemed to know.

Poor little Rey, who knew nothing.

“Maybe it is what you say it is, but the fact that it does not happen often also means I won’t have to be locked in away from you too often.”

“Even if you were to be experiencing those episodes, I would want to spend time with you, reading, talking… Kissing.”

“Kissing?” She interjected with surprise.

“Nature made us in the way we needed to be made. Nothing says that a woman experiencing her cycle must be locked in a dungeon. And yes, kissing. Life is life. Just because something is happening between your thighs doesn’t mean your lips are off limits.”

What a peculiar idea…

“Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that I play the indisposed card once. I still believe we should… that you should get your prize. We never know what can happen, when you will be called away. I would hate for someone else to take what is yours.”

“Do you consider yourself mine?” he asked in a husky voice, suddenly extremely close to her.

“My virtue is, you paid good coins for it,” she said, not wanting to commit herself too much to someone who might be leaving her the next day.

Sure, he had said he could be coming back the next day, but what if a bandit needed to be caught? What if Unkar did not believe she was bleeding?

“Why don’t you want to take your prize?” She asked him softly.

“Because I want you to be mine.”

“Kylo… I’m a whore…”

“A hetaera.”

“Whatever you say, and you’re the Sheriff. I will not be the Aspasia to your Pericles…”

“Then be the Rey to my Ben.”

“Who is Ben?” She asked.

He seemed to struggle with the answer before saying:

“I am. I was. I am Ben again at times when I’m with you. Give us a chance, dove.”

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“You need to claim your prize. I will keep on harassing you about this, unless you do not want me, but you seem to be implying something else. In the next… month, you have to take my virtue. Hell, it would be in the next week really, in case you grow tired of me.”

“I could never grow tired of you, but a week is too short a delay. How about a fortnight? I know I have… expectations you may not want to meet, being mine, but I want us to know each other before I take what you can only give once.”

“You know, maybe by claiming your prize, you could convince me,” she flirted, even though she knew she was sort of lying.

She had been left too often, she needed to call the shots. She needed to be sure. He wanted time with her and she was willing to have him. Whether it lasted a week, a fortnight or a month, she would savor it but she would never delude herself. Nothing was eternal.”

“You are trying to tempt me. But I won’t be bought. I understand your logic, I understand why you believe we must consummate our relationship, because it will not be about claiming a prize, my dove, and we will. In a fortnight at the latest. In the meantime, give me a chance to convince you to be mine.”

“You’ll get tired of me…” She heard herself say.

Before she could utter another word, he lifted her in his arms, and crushed his lips against her. Feeling like it was the most natural thing to do, she grabbed his hair, and reciprocated.

He got them to the bed, where he managed to sit her down. She tried to get him to lay on her bed with her, but he said:

“Trust me, Rey.”

And against her better instincts, she did.

Their lips parted, and she felt his wonderful hands under her skirt. She was having trouble breathing.

“Damn all that tulle!” She heard him curse and would have laughed if he had not found his way where he wanted to go, and she suddenly felt his fingers rub her bloomers gently, taking in the moisture gathered there.

She oh so wished to see his face, but this dress was a cancan one, with many layers. She felt his fingers push aside her bloomers and start to caress her sex. She gasped, and one big hand came from under her dress to rest on her stomach, keeping her in place. A finger parted her folds, and she was lost. Then after playing with the bundle of nerve which made her get wetter, and made her nipple harden, a finger gently penetrated her.

Was this how he intended to take her virginity? She wondered panicked. She did not have time to voice it out as it was forgotten the moment warm lips pressed against folds and the finger was replaced with a warm tongue.

She put one of her hands on top of his on her stomach, and the other grabbed the sheets on the bed. She did not know what to do, and she had never experienced anything this intense.

He was relentless, and she felt tongue and finger play with her inner sanctum.

Soon, she was struck by lightning or this was how she would have described it.

She saw stars as wave of pleasure took over her body and her mind.

It felt like too much yet she could not get enough.

When the fire appeased itself, Kylo reemerged from beneath her dress, and he searched for mouth. She tasted herself on his lips and wanted to give him something in return. She pushed her hand against his trousers, where his arousal was evident, but he pushed her hand aside. He forced her to look him in the eyes and he said again:

“I will never get tired of you, Rey.”

She wanted to nod, but she felt deliciously relaxed. He seemed pleased to see it.

She would have been damned if she had to explain how he managed to do it, but several minutes later, he had gotten her fully naked, disposing of her bloomers for the first time since they had started sleeping together. He undressed his upper body, and put them both in bed.

“Sleep, Rey,” he ordered. “I will be there when you wake up.”

She closed her eyes and was nearly asleep when she felt a kiss against her neck and the words “one day you will be mine,” being whispered in the silence of the room.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, read and review!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks once again to juniorjewel96 for her excellent betaing skills!

Kylo was on his way to the jailhouse, thinking about the previous night and the delicious treat he had been awarded.

Rey was… Rey. There were no words to describe her. It felt like trying to explain colors to a blind person, sounds to someone deaf. You could not give an accurate description of the delight she was until you experienced it yourself.

However, his mind was set against anyone experiencing her the way he did, ever.

He had let his possessive side shine again last night, and of that he was not proud, but at the very least, he had been truthful. He wanted her to be his.

She kept bringing up the issue of her virginity and he understood why she did, but he wanted her to want him to take it, to have it, to know that by being her first, he would be her last.

He wanted to punch himself in the face. As his sometimes friend and mostly friendly nuisance she-double Phasma said, he could never play poker, for he was always all in or out. He did not care for the shades and nuances, he wanted everything or nothing and when he wanted, which was rare, he did so with passion of a thousand suns.

Rey was his. Alone in his head, he could claim it and not face backlash, but the way she had responded to his advances the night before, the way she had sat on his lap and had tried to please him by trying to read, even though she kept insisting it was not a useful skill for a girl in her position, well, it spoke volumes to him. He had not known it then but he knew it now. She was his kindred spirit, the one meant for him on this Earth.

When Phasma had picked, of all men, Armitage Hux to be her husband, Kylo had thought she had gotten a concussion or something, for Armitage was a pain in the ass. However, Phasma seemed to like him, and no matter how much Kylo would tell her about all the things he had done in border school with Armitage, trying to show her she was making a mistake. She had looked him in the eyes and said that every jar had its lid, and he could consider Armitage to be the strangest and most inadequate lid of them all, but he was still hers.

At the time, it had seemed preposterous. It still felt that way at times. But as they had been married three years, Kylo had to tilt his hat to the girl he had known before boarding school. She had indeed found the right lid for her jar. Armitage was still a huge pain in his ass, but he was a devoted husband, and Kylo had found himself more than once watching the two of them together, so different, yet so in sync with one another.

Rey was his jar, or his lid, he did not know. The thing was, he could feel it when he was with her, and even as he walked away, he always carried a part of her with him. It felt sentimental and so unlike him, but the woman who had intrigued him in the woods had been his destiny. He only needed her to come to the same conclusion.

He would help her reach it, with attentions, and more. He had noticed how she would feel special when all he did was listen to her.

His girl had been deprived of many things in life, including attention, and he swore it would never be the case anymore, no sir.

He thought back to the previous night and how sweet she had tasted. He felt himself harden and was thankful he had reached the jailhouse so that no one could see. Under his arm was a brown package tightened with strings. When he had left her, oh so reluctantly that morning, he realized he needed to run an errand to the local merchant, and there had been some dresses in store, up for sale. There had been one, a white one, which was probably designed for a girl who would be attending some religious milestone, but he had seen it as fitting Rey right away. He was worried it would not fit right, but he had an inkling that, living on the streets as she had, she could alter it as need to be. He had bought a second one for her to have materials to do all the amending she required. He could not wait to give it to her.

He had seen in the eyes of Earl, the shopkeeper and saloon patron that he knew who it was for, and there had been a muttering about whores not deserving to ever wear white again. It had taken all of Kylo’s restraint not to punch the guy in the face, but he could not afford to alienate the one person who could sell him what he wanted at that very moment.

He had simply asked about Earl’s wife, who was notoriously having an affair on the side with the butcher, a man so burly the shopkeeper did not bear confront him or his wife about the fact that they were cuckolding him. That had shut Earl up.

He put his package carefully on the table set in the middle of his office and looked around.

It was then that he felt it, some sort of tingle in the back of his neck, like a subtle change in the air, and he knew right away in his bones what it meant. He went to the nearest windows, and sure enough, there he was.

Snoke.

To say he had a complicated relationship with the man was an understatement. At a time when Kylo had been vulnerable he had managed to twist his head around, as his tutor, and had encouraged him to dump the Solo name and take the name of Kylo Ren, Ren being the last name of all his knights, an army of men defending the faith. Soon enough, Kylo had seen through his bullshit but the harm had been done, and he had kept the name, as a reminder that you always had to pay a price.

Snoke was here because he was here. He had started preaching in the region when Phasma, another of his knights and he had run away to start anew. From Washington to Arizona, the man had made the trip. Kylo often wondered about the other Rens. He wondered if they had woken up and smelled the coffee. He hoped they had, but he also understood why Snoke could not let him and Phasma go free, given who their parents were.

Alas, it was not all.

Snoke was known for his dislike of ladies of the night, and he was also known for other sadistic behaviors.

That was why Kylo ran out of the jailhouse like he was running away from the law and went as far as he could to where his heart was calling.

***

Rey was humming to herself in her bedroom. She was… Were there words to describe how she felt? She did not know, perhaps she needed to ask Kylo to continue on instructing her, he was a very good teacher.

Then she found herself blushing, thinking about the pleasure he had taught her about last night. That had been a revelation, to say the least.

She wondered if he would do it again tonight… She would not be opposed to it. Then she wondered about reciprocation and felt miserable at the thought that she no one she could talk too about this. Bazine would laugh at her, like she had done during breakfast, for wearing her negligée in too chaste a manner for women in their lines of work. OF course, Bazine had not used such fancy words to describe the pair of them. There was no point in trying to get the girl acquainted with the concept of hetaera, something Rey quite liked.

Well, if reciprocation was expected, she would ask Kylo. When it came down to it, she supposed that he would be the best teacher she could hope for, given he would be the one she was trying to please, and the fastest way to knowing what was expected of you was often to ask. What a mortifying discussion it could turn out to be…

Rose got into her bedroom, and Rey motioned for her to do what she had come for. She did not want to leave her bedroom. She wanted to stay at her dressing table and brush the pages of the book Kylo had left behind. She wanted to try and read it a little further but feared she might not be able to decipher much, for Shakespeare did use too big a word for her sometimes. She wondered if at the shop in town, there were any books for parents instructing their children how to read. Surely not, the kids would be going to school….

She wished she had gone to school. She knew only the letters and numbers she had been taught at the orphanage. Her numbers were better, for she had needed to use them while living in the streets, but her letters… Well, Kylo was trying to remedy that defect.

She thought she heard a faint noise but did not pay it much attention. Then she heard a clear knock, and looked at Rose, who looked back at her, both expecting the other to say they were responsible for it. Then, a knock.

“Rey!” Someone whispered through the opened window.

She ran there, knowing that voice too well, and saw Kylo, gripping the edge of the window from the outside. He was up on the barrel she had used that very first night, but his frame was too big for him to be able to use the same notches as her to climb back in the room. She noticed he was hanging on tight and looked worried.

“Kylo!” She exclaimed.

She helped him get a better grip, and he seemed to realize that he could stick his feet on certain stones to gain equilibrium. Their eyes locked, and she wanted to smash her lips against his.

“You’re bleeding,” he blurted out.

“What?” She asked, wanting to check herself, but afraid he would fall if she let go.

“Give me your bloomers, and something sharp.”

“What?”

“Do as I say, Rey.”

She hated the way his voice made her react for she could feel her nipples tightening. She grabbed the piece of clothing, but she could not find something sharp as he had said.

“Bring me the panties,” he said, and she did, noticing that he had managed to hiss himself on the window ledge, and was in a more secure position.

“I don’t have anything sharp, Unkar did not trust me to not kill myself before the auction.”

“Fucking bastard,” Kylo said.

“I’ve got a, a pair of scissors,” Rose said from the side.

Since it was too late to pretend Kylo was not there, Rey just nodded for her to give them to her.

“Who’s that?” The Sheriff asked.

“I’m the laundry girl,” Rose said.

“Well, can you keep a secret?” He asked.

The girl did not have time to answer before Kylo put the bloomers on the edge of the window, then opened his hand, and slashed his own flesh with the scissors, wiping the blood on the piece of clothing.

“What are you doing?” Rey asked, alarmed, looking everywhere for something to tend to his wound.

“You are bleeding. Rose, please bring the bloomers to Unkar and tell him that Rey is sick as a dog and making a huge mess.”

Rey found a shawl and grabbed Kylo’s hand forcefully, wrapping it around his hand, tightly in order to stop the bleeding.

“What is happening?” she asked, focused on his injury.

“There’s a bad man in town. A very bad man, and I’m not talking to you like you’re a child. He is a bad man, evil even. He hates prostitutes, and he does ungodly things to them. I saw him in town earlier. “

“Snoke is here?” Rose asked. “I’m bringing those panties down and showing them to Unkar. Stay hidden Miss Rey.”

“Wait, why? I don’t understand…”

Kylo and Rose seemed to exchange a glance, and the laundry girl finally said:

“He was with Bazine once. There were rumors before he likes to remind women in your trade that they do not possess the virtues of Mary Magdalene, that they are just common things for men to use. He made her bleed. He tied her up and stuffed her mouth with whatever. She could not scream. She was terrified. It took her a good week to get back on the horse, and it was only because Unkar was making it so that she was owing him money the longer she went without opening her business again. You may feel the Sheriff is being overprotective, but if he does not buy you in time tonight, you will suffer…”

“I’d rather not buy you but have the assurance that you’re safe rather than risk it,” Kylo said.

She felt a shiver run down her spine, and ended the bloody bloomers to the maid, who then nodded, and ran downstairs.

They were left alone, and there was an ache settling in Rey’s heart.

“What’s happening, dove?” Kylo asked, looking relieved for the first time of the exchange, now that she was pretending to be indisposed.

“I won’t see you tonight….”

“I’d rather not see you one night rather than have you fall in the hands of Snoke, he said, grabbing her waist and pulling her close to him.

“Isn’t there a play and a scene, with a balcony?” She asked, trying to hide her flushed cheeks.

“Romeo and Juliet. I can bring it over If you want.”

“Doesn’t it end terribly?”

“As it should… Both are only fourteen, and have no experience of the world.”

“You’re mean…”

“I have had to bring back too many 14 years old back to their parents after finding them frolicking anywhere and everywhere,” he said, before putting his lips against her;

She felt herself start to melt, but thankfully or sadly, she was not sure, Rose was back:

“Unkar bought it. He wants you in your bedroom tonight and the following nights.”

“Thank you both, for taking care of me,” She said.

Kylo kissed her lips quickly, nodded at Rose, and jumped off the edge of the window.

Rey was left with a heavy heart, thinking about how long she would have to keep pretending to be indisposed for it to be credible. Each day she pretended meant not seeing Kylo.

“He’s a good man, the Sheriff,” Rose said.

“I know. I mean, I thought so, but I know it now, from what you told me.”

“He saved you. And he seems to care for you. I hope he is able to buy your favors every night.”

She blushed, not wanting to say she hoped for the same.

“I believe he has taken a fancy in you. I hope into more.”

She should have told the girl to mind her own business, but she was a girl herself.

“Is there someone for whom you have a fancy?” She asked.

Then she remembered…

“Finn… You like Finn, don’t you? You’re always bossing him around even though you don’t work together.”

“Alas, there’s nothing there for me to be hopeful.”

“Do you not like him?”

“I do.”

“Does he like you?”

“I believe so,” Rose said, looking away.

Rey tried to decipher what was being left unsaid.

“Is it because your family comes from Asia and he is a son of former slaves.”

“It is hard enough finding a job with my complexion. He doesn’t want to make it more difficult for me by claiming his interest for me.”

“But you want him…”

Rose did not answer, just did the rest of the room, before leaving it, and her, with her thoughts.

The day passed slowly. A meal was brought to her when she asked for it, but for all intent and purposes, one might think she had the plague, the way people kept on speaking to her through the door as if she was contagious.

She read some more “Merchant of Venice”, got dressed in her old clothes for the day, then got one of the most chaste negligées there were in her cupboard. Apparently, some customers liked to think they were purchasing a virgin, Bazine had said.

She heard the sound from downstairs, the night starting, people arriving.

She thought of Kylo, of his promise to get his prize in the next two weeks. It could not come soon enough for her. Soon, she could not concentrate on her reading and gave up, sitting at the dressing table, looking at her reflection, not out of vanity, but trying to picture what he liked about her.

She went back to the bed, thinking she would never fall asleep with the ruckus downstairs, but she must have fallen asleep, for lips woke her up as they brushed against hers.

Praise be the Lord for the fact that she recognized this scent, his scent, allowing him to kiss her, putting her hands in his hair, something she found herself growing addicted to.

When he let her go, he said:

“You should lock your window, my dove… Bad men could come in.”

“Maybe I knew you would come…”

“You hoped but did not know.”

Damn, he was good at reading her.

“Next time, leave it locked. I’ll knock to get in.”

She should have said something, about perhaps not wanting to see him but could not see the point.

“I will.”

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I needed to make an appearance downstairs and pretend to be pissed you were unavailable, otherwise it would have been too convenient.”

“Don’t apologize. From what I gathered, you saved me from a terrible fate.”

He seemed to want to say something, and she could have sworn she saw the word “mine” on his lips, but he just lit up the candle in her bedroom. The night was still young, and she was not sleepy anymore.

She tried to initiate something more with him, but he pushed her away, or just broke them apart, their forehead against one another.

“I don’t want to make any sound that could betray our ruse,” he said.

“Then why did you come?” She asked, not wanting to be cheeky, but confused.

“I told you I would want to spend every night you were indisposed with you. I was thinking… Maybe you could tell me more about yourself?”

“Only if you tell me your story…”

“How about a deal then? We’ll play cards. Poker. I’ll teach you. The loser of every round has to tell something true to the other.”

“I know how to play poker, I tried my hand at it before resorting to this,” she told him. “However, men did not want to play against me.”

“Too afraid to lose against a woman, am I right?”

She could only nod.

He pulled a deck from inside his pocket and started shuffling the cards. She could not help but admire his hands.

“Careful, dove, or you’ll make me make you scream my name.”

She laughed and blushed, happy that he was here.

Needless to say, she lost a lot. He was not the sheriff for nothing.

Yet, when they decided to call it a night, she did not feel like she had been robbed of part of her stories. She felt closer to him and burrowed into his embrace. He hugged her tighter, kissing her lips, then her ear, and the top of her head.

“Go to sleep, little one, I’m here.”

And so, she did. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please r&r!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agst incoming!  
> As always, many thanks and more to juniojewel96 over at tumblr who reread everything and helped me in her wonderful way!

The following day, Kylo was called away by some marshals to chase a band of thugs who had been spotted near Jakku. Rey hated biding him goodbye, as he had come to let her know and steal a kiss or two. Then, she had experienced both serenity and sheer terror. She was serene because since she was supposed to be indisposed, she was not expected to be up for sale. Since Bazine had claimed she was too having her cycle after learning that Snoke was in town, both were working every night, but only danced and waited on tables. Unkar had given red flowers to pin on their lapels, something apparently used as a not so secret code to say that they could not be bought for that reason.

Rey made some money during the three nights she was sporting the pin. She was not afraid of any of the men she was interacting with, as the pin seemed to make them weak at the knees, as if her affliction was supposed to be contagious. However, she also felt terrified, each night when there was no knock on her door, letting her now Kylo was back. What if something happened to him? Would she know? No one would think to give her the information, and every night when she would get downstairs, she would dread hearing people talking about the hurt or worse, deceased sheriff.

However, the news never came, which was both a release and a terrible torture.

In the end, she was working, getting a table of rancheros drinks when there was a chill in the air, and the Sheriff pushed the doors of the saloon open. She could have wept, but she did not. Instead, she went back to work.

They had parts to play, and the more she read Shakespeare, something she had him to thank for, the more she felt like pretending did not have to mean deceiving as long as the one you were playing with knew what the deal was about.

She went from table to table, when suddenly, an arm reached around her waist, and she spun around, ready to slap the impertinent man who had dared snatch her away. It was Kylo, and she had to try really hard in order to keep her face and body mum. He looked at her lips, and she felt warmth everywhere, then he sort of gave her what could have been described as a wink giving a wink, and he pretended to push her away disgusted, saying out loud:

“Still bleeding? Jesus Christ, you really are testing my patience, little one.”

She said nothing, moved away, but she felt like her heart was singing words only he could hear.

That night, she went up to her bedroom, and found him waiting for her on her bed. She had apparently left the window opened slightly. He kissed her until she could not tell where he began and she ended.

That was when fear kicked in again.

What she felt for him was just too… intense. She could not afford to be duped or tossed aside. Her parents had left her, and she would not be left again. This just would not do, no sir, no matter how he made her feel. It felt like it was high time to claim back who she was and remind him of who he was.

She kissed him as she knew he liked it, and managed to wiggle her hand toward the front of his pants, where she started rubbing his arousal. He tried to grab her hand, but she managed to undo the front buttons.

“Rey, Rey,” he tried to call our her name several times, but she was intent on her mission.

“Yes, Kylo, say my name.”

When he started pushing her hand away, she got up and dropped her dress, except she did not feel aroused. It was the cold air around them which hardened her nipples. She got back on the bed, and straddled him, catching him off guard, and she climbed on his lap, aligning her core with his sex through his trousers. He tried to say her name, but it got caught in his throat.

She was just about to impale herself on his shaft, nevermind the pain it would cause her, when he grabbed her arms forcefully and kept her at arm’s length, looking honestly disconcerted. 

“What the fuck is happening here?” He asked.

“Exactly what you said. We’re fucking. You’re taking my virtue. It’s been too long anyway. We keep playing this game, where we pretend to care for one another, but I’m just a whore, and you’re just a john. Now let’s seal that deal and stop pretending.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?” He asked, his eyes on her as if she had just said she expected him to kill her when the deal was sealed.

“I’m a whore, you’re my john. No hetaera bullshit. “

“What the hell happened while I was gone?”

“Nothing.”

She gave him another look, then felt herself choke up as she continued:

“Everything. I need to own my choices. I decided to be a whore, I must lie with it.”

And then, hating herself beyond words, she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

“Jesus Christ, Rey, talk to me…” Kylo asked, pulling her on his lap, after grabbing the cover to cover his open pants.

“It’s nothing. It’s a transaction. You pay, I deliver. I’m behind on my part of the contract. I’m remedying the situation right away.”

He said nothing and even if she had wanted to she would not have been able to read his mind, as tears pooled more and more in her eyes. Why was she being so emotional? She was such a terrible whore. Then again, with ordinary clients, they would take what they wanted, instead of jerking her around, making wait for the other shoe to drop.

“We agreed on a fortnight,” he finally said.

“You did. I wanted it to be done. Do you know what it feels like to not know what happens the next moment? Have you ever not been in control. I chose to be a prostitute because it was supposed to be the one outcome where I was in control. With you, I am not. I am vulnerable and exposed to what feels much more than I can chew. I need to be in control.”

“I can’t say I have ever been at the mercy of someone else, which is what I suppose you’re describing. But Rey, don’t you trust me?”

He tried to make her look him in the eyes but she would not have him.

“I do not have the luxury of trusting you, don’t you get that? You hold all the cards, and I’m supposed to believe that all will be well in the most perfect world, that I won’t get crushed, that you will not get tired, that you will always save me. I don’t want to be saved, I am my own person. This person chose a path, now I need to walk it.”

“Then have me.”

This made her stop weeping. She looked at him, and was caught off guard by the look of utter despair his expression was sporting. He seemed defeated. Hell, his erection had died, for lack of a better word, and even if she had jumped on him to get the deed done, it would not have been possible.

“You don’t want me,” she said, pointing to his cock.

“Not like that. Never like that. I told you before that I want your first time to be good and perfect. If you’re having out of urgency and fear, it will be terrible. You can’t begrudge me for lacking the enthusiasm of making your first time a painful and terrible memory.”

“Do you think whores get to have nice stories about their first johns?” She asked, taking the cover to drape around herself, feeling cold.

“I think this hetaerae has an opportunity to control the narrative of this step which is huge in the life of most women, but for some reason, she seems intent to make it as terrible as possible. She will end up hating the guy who will have done the deed, and the guy is me. She won’t care for the fact that he will have tried to make it good for her, to make her want him.”

“I want you,” she said, almost without a second thought.

“You may want me, at times, but right now, you just want to give me the tit for my tat, and you are brushing aside the fact that it does not have to be something bad. It does not need to be terrible. I can make it good.”

“Can’t you see how terrible that would be? You’d make it great, and then the next john comes along, and every time I will be with someone, I will remember that perfect time I had and never will have again!”

“You will have no one else,” he said, suddenly in her face, looking seething with rage at the thought.

“You can’t…”

“Yes, I can. I don’t care about Unkar. I have money. I will buy you every night. When I’m not there, we will find something to do. If it’s too soon to you having been indisposed, I will throw you in jail if I know I won’t be around, pretending you stole some money. You’ll be safe.”

“Kylo…”

“I’m serious, Rey. Dead serious, but if you won’t believe me, well…”

He took his shaft out of his trousers, and started pumping his fist around it, trying to get hard, and getting half there, but the look of pure agony on his face made the would erotic visual just painful.

“No, please…” She uttered.

“You wanted it,” he said, his head going up and down.

“A fortnight we said. Now it’s ten days. You get ten days,” she finally said, hating herself for it, yet daring to hope.

He let go of his member and took her hand.

“Do you mean it? I can’t go through this every night, I cannot not be in control, never knowing if you will accept another client instead of waiting for me, because you think that I’m too indecisive, when my mind is set on this. I need to know you will give me those ten days, and not have another scene like that in two days…”

Either God hated her, or perhaps He hated him, but she found herself sighing, then saying:

“Ten days. No more scenes. But that is all I can offer. You tell tales of keeping me safe, but I can’t rely on you.”

“You can, and I hope in time you will learn to, you’ll also see that it’s not about giving yourself up, it’s about allowing me in, no pun intended.”

She snorted.

Finally, he gathered her in his arms, and she allowed him to hold her.

He kissed her ears, her hair, every piece of skin he could reach, saying:

“Please Rey, you need to trust me. You’ll learn to trust me. Don’t put me through this again. I want things to be good for you. I want to be there for you, and not just be the first name on a long list. I want to be the only one, if you’ll have me. I know you’re scared, though I do not know why.”

“I need control. I need certainty. I can only depend on me.”

“In time, you’ll learn that you can depend on me,” he said.

Too tired to argue, she did not nod but let it slide.

He kept on whispering in her ear, and she went into her own world, aware of his presence and of what he was saying, but also keenly terrified of her heart being broken. That realization almost brought her to her knees, and in lieu, she fell asleep, as if overwhelmed by the revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do review, I feel especially nervous about this chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

Kylo was on cloud nine. He had been called away to the nearest town and had arrested one bandit and processed him at the jailhouse. A Marshall would be called in the next few days to come and escort the prisoner for his trial.

He had gotten a bath, something he rarely afforded himself. He would take them often, before, when he was growing up, since his parents had help to fill the tub. Nowadays, living alone, bath was a treat. He had gone to the barber who offered such a service and had paid for a steamy tub and a clean shave. He felt like a new man, and he hoped it would please Rey to find out that he had taken care of himself for her. He was hoping to give her the dress he had brought before and was dying to see her smile upon receiving it. He was beyond hoping she would like it. If she didn’t, it would crush him, but he would soldier on and try again, he guessed.

He had taken out his good perfume, the one from his previous life, the one he had never been able to throw away, no matter how much he had wanted to bury Ben away and had poured some on himself.

After the previous night, he wanted to do something special. Rey… She was so torn, he could not bear it. He wanted her to be sure, but he was learning fast that just because he wanted for her to be something, she just would not be swayed and give in to his wishes. It hurt like hell but seducing her and making her fall for him would be even sweeter and perfect.

He made sure his shirt was on, his perfume was not too pungent, his pants were fine, that he was looking his best for his girl. When he was satisfied, after playing with his hair for a good five minutes, he finally went to the saloon.

Lord, how he hated that place. Before Rey, he would only go there when in need of booze, but he despised it. He supposed that his mind had been subtly swayed since his girl had joined in. One thing that had not changed was the fact that he only felt despise for the crowd. Sure, all those men were trying to earn a living and have a moment at the end of the day, but why get married in the first place if you planned on running away from your spouse as often as possible?

He searched the crowd for Rey, and suddenly, he saw her, air leaving his lungs. She was just so beautiful… She made him feel… Just feel really. He was still processing having those emotions.

Lord, he was too in his head, he suddenly realised, and his eyes locked on Rey’s frame. It was then that he perceived something that should have struck him right away. She was tense, maybe even tenser than she had been that first night, when he had seen her on that ridiculous throne, waiting to be purchased. Something was terribly wrong. It was then he saw it.

The pin. The bloody fucking pin.

It could not be….

He wanted to scream, to shout and more. She had been purchased. She had fucking been purchased! Unkar never allowed him to do it until it was dark outside, but there was still sunlight outside, and yet, there was that fucking pin. Then man she was dancing with was Earl of all people. That motherfucking asshole, him and Unkar.

He had to do something. He had to protect her. Earl could not get his prize. No Sir. He tried to keep a cool head, but there was so much anger bubbling, he could hardly see straight. He looked for Unkar, who was behind the bar, and the man looked at him, giving him this terrible look.

He would have killed him on the spot if his attention had not been drawn to Rey, moving toward the stairs, with Earl’s arm around her waist. She was so rigid, and Kylo could tell she was trying to pretend she was anywhere but there, about to do anything but … him.

He watched the walk up the stairs and watched them over the bannister upstairs. Rey gave him one last desperate look, as if begging him to save her, but there was no escaping. She opened her bedroom doors, and then….

* * *

He jumped as the door slammed shut in his nightmare.

He needed a couple of seconds to take in his surroundings. He was holding Rey in his arms, and thankfully, she had not woken up. He hugged her closer, still shaking from this atrocious dream.

Lord almighty, was this what she was so afraid of? If so, he was gaining a new understanding of what had gone through her head the night before.

He was shaking, what was happening to him.

“Kylo”? She asked through slumber. “Kylo, what’s wrong? Are you chilly? I can get us another blanket…”

“No, doll, I’m okay,” he forced himself to say.

Yet, he was not fooling her.

She sat on the bed, pushing herself away from his arms, and he missed the contact so terribly.

“What’s happening, big guy?” she asked.

She was so cute, when sleepy, he wanted to screw into the mattress. Nay, he wanted to cherish every inch of her body…

“I… I just had a bad dream, nothing that ought to worry you…” He answered.

“If it gets you this rattled, then I worry about it too.”

“You’re so cute…”

“You’re avoiding.”

He was. He did not want to bring back what she had been so worried about the night before, afraid it might trigger a relapse. He needed one of them to be sane, and he wished it was him, not knowing how to react when he was feeling so helpless.

“I will be okay, Doll, just let me hold you in my arms, will you?”

“Don’t think I ‘m letting you off the hook, but I’m so exhausted,” she finally agreed as she slid back in his arms.

This felt like Heaven. He wanted more of that. He wanted all of her mornings, and all of her evenings. Hell, give him her days too. He was falling hard… So hard. He would get bruised when he hit the ground, but he could not prevent himself from doing so. She was just…

The sun he had been missing in his life. The one who made every day, as dull as it could be, worth going through.

He needed time to process it, to come to terms with what it meant. He had always relied on himself, only himself, and this infatuation for Rey, as it seemed to be turning into something much deeper.

There was a part of him which craved to crawl away from her, in order to deal with all that was happening, but there was a bigger part of him which needed to hold her. He listened to his heart and guts and did just that. He held her, watched as she slept, adoring the light snore she emitted at times. She was just so precious.

So precious.

It kept reverberating in his head as he followed her into slumber.

When he woke up, later on, she was sitting at the dressing table, trying to get ahead on their reading of Shakespeare. He took in her profile, and it did not put any damper on his arousal. He usually hated getting morning wood, but when around Rey, it suddenly felt like there a use for it.

He looked as she mouthed the words she was reading, pondering what her life had been before all of this. He wished he could ask her, but he wanted her to answer not because there was money involved, but because she wanted him to know.

“I can tell you’re awake,” she said in a sing-song voice, and he found himself laughing into the pillow.

“I did not want to interrupt your hard work.”

“I want to make you proud,” she said candidly, and he wanted to kiss her.

“You always make me proud.”

“Flatterer,” she gibed, but he kept on laughing.

Against his best instincts, he got up from bed, and got dressed. She looked him do that with the them intensity as if he was getting undressed. He was reminded of the ten days they had agreed to.

Maybe, just maybe, he did not feel like waiting this long. He did not know. He was not used to not knowing everything. It hit him that she felt the same, hated not knowing, hated relying on him to save her every night. Well, that put a damper on his arousal as his bad dream came back in waves.

He made a decision, unsure if it was the right one, but he had always trusted his gut instinct.

They went downstairs, the both of them, and he kissed her hand as she went to the kitchen to have breakfast. He stayed behind and waited until Unkar appeared.

The man sighed upon seeing him but seemed like he knew better than to try to run him out.

“What can I do for you Sheriff?” He finally asked.

“Today is Saturday, right?”

“I’m preparing the money for Rey, don’t start beating on me.”

“Good.”

He started making his way outside, then trailed back, and said:

“Tomorrow is Sunday… Your girls don’t work on God’s day, do they?”

“No, they don’t.”

“I want to take Rey out of town tonight and bring her back tomorrow. I’ll pay as if she’s working.”

Unkar looked like the cat who ate the canary, and Kylo knew he was about to tell him to piss off.

“I’ll pay twice the amount, and you only have to give her the money for tonight,” he said.

The terrible man seemed to think it over, then finally decided that it was better to let this one go.

“Sure.”

“I’ll go in the kitchen and let Rey know about our escapade.”

“You did not ask her first? How un-yankee-like of you…”

“Fuck you, Unkar.”

“Fuck her, you mean…”

Kylo flipped him the bird then went through the door. He felt jealousy flair as he saw his girl laugh with another man. Given his complexion, he had to be the infamous Finn.

“Kylo!” Rey exclaimed when she saw him.

Bazine was also there, but she could have been wallpaper for all he cared.

“What do you say about getting out tonight? We’ll leave in the afternoon, go somewhere where the air is not toxic?” He asked Rey, and she beamed.

“Overnight?” She asked, blushing.

“Overnight. What do you say?”

And to his utter delight, she said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do leave a review!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First part of their gateaway
> 
> As always, many thanks to juniorjewel96 over at tumber who betas my ramblings!

Rey felt giddy as hell, kept going over the bag she had planned to take with her on this escapade Kylo was planning. She had no idea where they were going, so packing had been a challenge. She had taken the book, and some of the less revealing outfits that were in her dresser. She had borrowed a shawl from Rose, as she could not ask Bazine for any clothes, bound to be more revealing than the ones she owned. She had also packed the money Unkar had begrudgingly given her earlier on. She was quite happy about the fact that it was slightly more than she had thought she would get. She had only taken into account the dances and the nights supposedly spent selling her body, but Unkar had thrown in some money for the barkeeping and the waiting on customers. Bazine had gotten a sum of her own, Rey had not enquired, because she was still struggling with the thought of having one customer per evening, but she knew Bazine was able and did not mind having two or three even a night.

Finally, the clock on the dressing table hit three, and she grabbed her stuff, closing the bedroom behind her, then going down the stairs.

Kylo was there, and he looked mighty fine. He was wearing his usual attire, but there was just something about him, like he was feeling freer, had reached a new level of clarity… She could not pinpoint what it was that had happened, but she definitely could see the difference in him. He was not smiling, as Unkar was watching them from the bar area, but there was a twinkle in his eyes. She went to him, and he offered her his elbow for her to grab; She did, and he whispered in her ear:

“Thank you for trusting me.”

“Thank you for getting me out of going to mass tomorrow. I was not looking forward to seeing if the saying about sweating like a whore at mass was a real thing.”

“You’re not a whore,” he said in her ear, as he led her out of the saloon.

His horse was waiting, with two satchels hanging from its saddle. He brought her closer to the stallion, and grabbed her bag, putting it carefully in one of the carriers he had kept empty.

She could have swooned, but then again, she suddenly felt very nervous. This was just too perfect, and she just could not allow herself to enjoy herself when he could get bored with her and abandoned her to her fate.

Then, against all odds, perhaps because he put his hand on her waist and said:

“This way, my lady.”

She decided to enjoy the day.

She let him lift her up on the horse, a mighty steed, black and grandiose, and grabbed the reins. Sure, she was ready to let him be a gentleman, but there were subtle ways to remind him that he was dealing with someone who had a life before him. She had never owned a horse, but she had stolen a couple in her days, to escape the officers after a larceny. A girl had to do what a girl had to do.

He climbed behind her, and gently grabbed the reins from her hands. She noticed that he was once again wearing his gloves. He always did, when he came to her, always took his sweet time removing them before touching her or helping learn how to read. How he dealt with the heat, she just did not know, but it made him stand out.

She had a suspicion, whatever happened that day, or in the next fortnight or month or so, he would always stand out to her, even in her memories.

“Where are we going?” She asked, as he led the horse out of town.

“Soon, you’ll see,” he said, and that was all she could get from him.

She felt his warmth against her back, and she leaned in. She loved sleeping next to him, when he held her, and she was not about to play shy and pretend she was suddenly a highly born lady. No, she would take what she could, and cherish it later. He chuckled, but she could tell he enjoyed having her against his front. Regularly, his arms brushed against her bosoms when he pulled the reins one way or another, and she liked the feeling, liked how she could feel him responding to touching her behind her. He was not a man made out of stone, contrary to what Jakku’s people seemed to think, he was a hot-blooded creature, and he was very aware of her in his arms, as his body could attest.

As they were riding, he told her that he had told a few rusted people how to get in touch with him if need be, being the sheriff after all, and that therefore, they could not go too far. This worried her slightly, fearing being recognized as the Prize of Jakku. He assured her she would not, but still, there was this nagging voice in her head, and she had to concentrate so hard to get it to shut up.

When the sun was high, and she started sweating, he gave up his hat and put it on her head, calling her “Miss Sheriff”, making them both laugh. She was thankful for his gallantry and wondered how he would fare with the same burden which had bothered her. Happily, he led them into a wooded area, and she stopped worrying about him getting sun-sick, or whatever fancy people called it. She was not fancy, she was just Rey, of nowhere.

She relished in the nature. She had always avoided it when she had been left on her own, too many dangers awaiting her, but with him with her, she did not feel unsafe at all. It was lovely, a little patch of green in a sandy land. Finally, he told her to close her eyes, and she did, even though there was a noise that made her want to open them just to check.

He got off the horse and then grabbed her hand, saying he had her.

“I know you’ve got me,” she said, and in that moment, she meant it.

He got her off his steed and told her to open her eyes.

They immediately widened even though she had suspected they might be in such a place: they were in a clearing, and there was the source. It was way too small to be considered a lake, but too big to be a pond. The water looked clean, and she longed for the opportunity to bathe in it. Sure, they had baths at the saloon, but Unkar allowed it once every ten days, saying it was too much trouble and the whores were behaving like princesses if they wanted more than what he was offering.

“What are we doing here?” She asked finally, and she realized she had never let go of his hand.

“I was thinking we could have a spot of iced tea I got from the shop, after we let it cool in the water for a few minutes, and maybe grab a bite?”

He looked so vulnerable, almost expecting her to tell him to sod off, she wanted to kiss him, so she did. He seemed taken by surprise, but he did not recoil. He grabbed her in his arms and deepened the kiss the way she had discovered she liked it. She was like putty in his hands, and did not mind at all.

When they regretfully parted, he grabbed the iced tea from his horse and put it in the water, somewhere where it could not float away, away from the light. He took out a cloth, and laid it down on the floor for them to sit, safe from ants and other crawlers. She sat down with him, and he got out some candies. She felt herself salivate at the sight. She had almost never had any of those, too busy stealing more serious things, stuff that would allow her to stay hidden for days, she had always been careful not to steal in those pots, aware that the shopkeepers were especially wary of youngsters coming near their treats.

“For me?” she asked, when he offered her some.

“Well, I could eat it all, but it would feel awfully lonely, not to mention cruel, don’t you think?” He asked, and she chucked, grabbing a piece of candied fruits from his hand.

He winked as she took a bite and moaned in delight. She had another bite, and then another, and wondered if one could live on those alone. He went to fetch the tea, which had cooled down. They did not have glasses so they took turn drinking from the glass bottle.

“Did you buy all of this for us?” She asked.

He blushed, all the way to the tip of his ears, and she wanted to kiss them.

“I can’t cook, and can’t do tea of any sort…”

“Thank you, Kylo,” she said, after grabbing his attention by putting her hand on his.

He smiled shyly, as he dug in himself.

They did not speak much, but there was something appealing about being there with him, away from their usual crowd. She liked being with him.

She said so.

“I like being with you too,” he responded, blushing again, and this time, she had to jump on him to kiss his cheeks and his nose, then his ears. He laughed but seemed genuinely surprised; She figured that she had not been too demonstrative in their previous interactions, not for lack of wanting too, but because the setting in which they were meeting was not prone to random display of affection.

They ended up lying on the cloth, with her on top of him, and he finally asked:

“Do you want to go swim?”

“I don’t know how to…” She replied, feeling not ashamed, but amiss, for lack of a better world.

“The water is not that deep, I can show you how to float and you can enjoy the coolness of the water, without fear of drowning he said.

“But… I don’t have any clothes…”

“I was thinking, if you have a camisole perhaps, and your bloomers, you should be fine.”

She did have one of those, and she figured, “why the hell not?”. She nodded.

As the gentleman he always was, he turned around as she changed into the items he had mentioned. He then removed most of his own clothes, keeping on breeches, and he led her to the water. It was freezing, something that made no sense in the Arizona heat, but he explained that the water came from a nearby river, and that it was flowing too fast for it to grow hot during the day.

It felt awkward at first, walking in the pond, or source or whatever, with him behind her. When she had water up to her lower stomach, he came behind her, and helped her lower herself into the water. He remained still, keeping her in place as she laid on her back, and floated for the first time ever. She could have been looking at so many things, but she chose to focus on him. She liked what they were doing. She loved the fact that he had taken her out. She adored the fact that he never made her feel inadequate for not knowing everything. She floated for a bit, then he helped learn just a few moves in the water, keeping his hands underneath her body to reassure her. She would not have to swim far, but she was swimming alright. After a while, she got back on her feet, and pressed her body to his, forcing him to bend down to meet her lips, as she thanked him for this learning opportunity.

She got to the side of the pond, and let the sun dry her clothes as he dove in, and swam, showing great skills if anyone asked her. He was graceful in the water, and she loved watching him.

Finally, it turned a bit chilly, with the water being so called, and he got them out of the water.

“Thank you for this,” she told him, simply, and he gave that look, which meant that she did not have to thank him, but she did anyway.

They cleaned the clearing and got back on the horse. The sun was starting to settle, and she was getting worried as they were so far from civilisation.

He directed them with a steady hand, and soon enough, she saw a cabin.

“It’s a Sheriff’s cabin. Apparently, the man before me needed to escape from time to time, in order to hunt and reflect and do whatever. I got the keys for it when I got the job,” he explained.

She understood that they would be staying there for the evening and then the night. She suddenly felt very shy again.

“Shall we?” He asked.

Despite the voice in her head screaming in fear, she took his hand, and followed him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please leave a word if you feel so inclined, it helps me motivate my muse... I hope to write more often for a couple of days as I am on break ( a short on, albeit).  
> Looking forward to your feedback!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to juniorjewel96 over at tumblr for looking it over!  
> 2nd part of the getaway

Kylo knew his palms were sweaty beneath his gloves. He had wanted to take Rey away from the saloon, away from all the ugliness that went on there, and she had already paid him back in shades by her willingness and the trust she had bestowed upon him when he had offered for them to try and swim. He had known this had to be something she barely knew how to do and had feared she would reject his offer. Instead, she had taken his hand, allowed him to teach her some moves.

She looked so beautiful in her camisole. As it had been in contact with the water, it had been all but translucent, and it had taken all his control not to take advantage of her. He was not proud of how aroused he had been, when she had been so vulnerable and trusting in his arms. He had managed to keep it hidden and having a quick swim in the cold water had helped refrain his ardours.

She was looking around the cabin, but it was quite plain. There was a fireplace, a couch but mostly, a big bed in one of the corners. He had felt her shiver as she had taken his hands, and he was wondering if he had been right in deciding to take her there. However, being the sheriff meant he could not stray too far from his responsibilities. He could have taken her to Tucson for the night, but he was afraid anybody could have recognized her from the saloon. He wanted her to forget about that dreadful place, if only for a night.

He went back outside and tied up his horse, making sure it had hay and water to keep it happy, then he grabbed the contents of the satchels. As he grabbed Rey’s, he could have sworn he heard coins being tossed around. Perhaps she had expected to be taken to town, and he hated the fact that he could not, not for his sake, but for hers. He did not want her branded as a scarlet woman, no matter what was happening in her life as of right now. 

He went back inside, and she had gotten rid of the shawl on her shoulders and was now starting a fire.

Smart woman she was.

“I brought our belongings,” he said in a mid-tone, in order not to startle her.

She got back up, her back straight as if wearing a corset, and she said:

“I wanted to start a fire. I do not know what we will be eating but I’m certain we cannot be feasting on liquorice again.”

“Indeed. I brought a dish I bought in town for us to warm up. I know that there are a couple of plates in the cupboard near the door, as well as glasses and cutlery. I do not know who was sheriff before I got there, but I have the distinct feeling it was either a womanizer who took his latest conquests there, or perhaps a man who had fallen for the town widow.”

In small towns, when there was no land attached to one’s inheritance, people expected a widow to remain so, whether she had given her late husband children or not. Kylo liked to believe that his predecessor had been in love with one of those poor women and had left the force in order to marry her, away from Jakku and everybody watching.

The cosiness of the settings did leave him the distinct impression that the previous sheriff had only ever brought one woman there with him. Or perhaps, a man, who knew? Back when he was living with his parents, one of his close friends had been in love with another man. Society had held their noses at the couple, but since Poe happened to be the son of a senator and lawmaker, they pretended that he was sharing his lodgings with a “friend”. It had broken Poe’s heart when Temmin “Snap” Wexley had been drafted away to a small town in Delaware. The two still managed to see one another at times, but everybody knew that it was Poe’s father who had given the orders to have the man removed from his son’s life. Consequently, Poe had decided to become a Marshall too, and had dispelled any hope his parents still had of him settling down and following in his father’s footsteps.

“Kylo?” Rey asked, and he realized he had been silent for a long time.

“I do apologize, I was lost in memories…”

He had been about to finish that thought there, but something was bothering him. He got close to Rey, and raised her chin up to meet his gaze, before saying:

“When we’re here, call me Ben, If you please.”

“Of course…. Ben.” She agreed and he loved the way the name rolled of her tongue.

He had never wanted to be Ben again, or so he had thought, but in this place, at this precise moment, Kylo was not who he was nor who he wanted to be.

He went to where he had dropped their bags and took out the food he had gathered for the evening, alongside a bottle of cider.

“Are you hungry?” He asked her.

“Well, I could wait a little bit before we had more,” she said blushing, as if ashamed she was not famished right away.

“In here, Rey, you do not have to feel self-conscious or wonder if what you say is what I want to hear. You are your own person, you have always been, but in the confine of the saloon, our surroundings are a reminder of who you are supposed to be, and not who you are. This place is ours. I can be Ben, and you can be… Rey.”

It felt silly to say it out loud, but he meant it. He wanted her to feel absolutely free that night. Lord knew when they would get another one of those.

She seemed to ponder what he was saying for a while, then lifted her chin, not in a defiant fashion but as if affirming herself more.

“Alright, Ben” she said.

He loved to hear his name roll of her tongue.

“Do you want some cider? I could put the meat pie I got for tonight to slowly heat on the fire, while we have a drink…”

Why was he feeling so giddy? Then again, she did not seem to mind.

“That sounds lovely,” she said.

He went to the cupboard and grabbed the glasses he knew were in there. He went back to where she had knelt once again, to slowly blow on the ambers in the chimney. They worked effortlessly around one another. She took the pie from his hands and put it on the device which was meant to allow to reheat food and not have it burn, as he poured them both some cider. He offered her a glass, and she took it, getting up. They went to the couch, able to watch the food. He propped his drink toward hers, and they toasted, as she chuckled, before taking a sip.

“Where did you grow up?” He asked.

“Here and there. Nowhere mostly I suppose. I just went from one place to another after I left the orphanage.”

“Why did you leave?”

“I knew they wanted to make a nun out of me, and I also knew I had no desire to be one. My second option was being auctioned to a husband I would never choose. In the end, I guess I ended up being auctioned still, but this time, on my terms.”

He hid his bitter expression behind his drink, not wanting her to believe he was judging her. He just hated the circumstances they had met in. He wished he had met her when she had escaped the orphanage and had taken her under his wing. Then again, back then, he was under Snoke’s control, would he have seen what a promising young girl she would be?

“What about you?” She asked him.

“I was born in a rich family, in Washington. My parents…. I do not want to go into specifics, but they were and still are probably a big deal. I left, wanting to do something out of myself that was not due to my parents’ position. I ended up becoming a sheriff, and I ended up in Jakku.”

“Are you in contact with your parents?”

“No. What happened to yours?”

“I do not know. I have vague memories of my mother, and of tales about my father having died fighting the good fight, but I do not know what it means. There is a part of me terrified that my father was fighting on the confederate side of the war.”

“Most confederate soldiers did not believe in the necessity of slavery, they only wanted to protect what was theirs. I mean, some were ardent believers, but so many of them were just drafted in a conflict they had little interest in, having no slaves of their own….”

It seemed to make her feel slightly better, and he wanted to grab her hand, and assure her that no matter who her parents were, she was still as wonderful to him as ever, because your parents did not make who you were.

He went to fetch the pie, with a cloth for it was hot, and he brought it to the table near the couch. He went quickly to fetch the plates and the cutlery. They ate in silence, and he felt like he would gladly do this for every meal for the rest of his life. He turned to look out the window, not wanting her to see the dedication in his eyes, for fear of frightening her. He saw that night had fallen. He lit a candlestick hanging around and placed it on the table.

When she was done with her plate, he went to his bag, and fetched the slices of apricot pie he had also bought.

“You are spoiling me,” she said, not refusing it in the least.

“Damn sure I am. You deserve to be spoilt. You have had one hellish sort of fortnight; you deserve a break and pampering.”

She blushed, but just got closer to him on the couch. He made room for her to lean into him, as she ate her treat.

He wondered how often she had enjoyed a complete meal, after the orphanage. That place was already not somewhere he liked to think about, for they seemed to have been starving the girls, in order to keep them slim for their would be husband. That bit made his blood boil. His mother was involved in several charities involving children of wars, and never in his life had he heard her mention that the girls would need to be married off. This was just appalling to him.

She rested her head against his shoulder, her plate empty on her lap. He grabbed the book he saw she had taken along, and as he was reading to her, a scene so domestic the Bard would have turned it into a mockery or an epitome, he was struck by lightning, figuratively. He kissed the top of her head, then went outside to the water pump, where he filled a bucket for them to wash themselves after the day they had had, alongside with the former bottle of cider for them to have fresh water during the night.

When he went back in, it was her turn to leave the room to take care of basic needs. When she came back in, he wrapped her in his cloak, as she was shivering, then got her closer to the fire. She was quick to feel less cold and was able to push aside the extra cloth. They shared a look, and he knew she was afraid of what was going to happen next.

“Rey, here is where I’m at. If you want to, tonight, we can have our night, that night you begged me for, away from the saloon. You will just be Rey, and I will just be Ben. However, if you need more time, I will understand. I am going to go outside to take care of the horse, and when I come back in, if you’re in bed, I will know that this is just an average night for us. There is no pressure resting on your shoulders, there is no wrong decision. Can you live with that?”

She nodded, though he could not tell if she really understood what she was possibly agreeing to. He went outside nevertheless and took care of his steed. The stallion would be fine for the night, but he wanted her to have time.

When he finally got back inside, he noticed that the candle had changed place and was now on the table next to the bed. Rey was in a different camisole, and he could see from the water in her hair that she had taken care of the dirt of the day. She was not lying underneath the covers, but on top of them, with her hands on her stomach. It seemed she had reached a conclusion, but he wanted and needed her to be sure. To give her more time, he removed his jacket and shirt, and went to the bucket of water, in order to clean himself.

He was surprised but delighted when he heard her say;

“Allow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you want to feed an author's muse, leave a comment!   
> I do wish to know what you thought of this....


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3rd part!

“Allow me.”

He gave her a look, and there was a light in her eyes, the same from the first night they had spent together. Though he was feeling tighter in his pants, he nodded, and gave her the cloth they were using to wash. Very carefully, she started rinsing his chest, and his face, taking extra time on his ears, which seemed to make her feel joy. He hated them, they were just there, sticking out… But she seemed to genuinely like them, and for once, he did not hate them as much as he usually did. She then proceeded to wash his back, and all he could feel were her hands on him. It was driving him crazy, and he grabbed one of them, bringing it to his mouth, and pressing an open kiss to it.

He turned around when he heard let go of the cloth, and asked:

“Are you certain?”

“Completely and utterly, Ben.”

That last word did it for him. He pushed his lips against hers, and she responded in kind, seemingly hungry for his touch, something he felt blessed about.

She was so soft. He was so afraid he would break her…

“I’m made of flesh and bone, you cannot hurt me.”

He nodded, though they both knew that if they went on this path, he would, hurt her that was, if only for a moment.

He kissed her face, and he kissed her neck. Pushing aside the camisole, he also led her to the bed where he carefully laid her down. The change of position allowed him to have access to one of her nipples, and he was not one to miss such an opportunity. He took it gently in his mouth and sucked on it. She moaned and he felt emboldened. Whatever past experiences he had did not matter at that moment, all that did was Rey and how she was responding to him.

He lightly bit the tender flesh, and she gripped his head, not to push him away, but to keep him in place. He then felt her hands roam along his back and trying to reach his front.

He let go in order to help her get rid of the useless piece of clothing. He alternated planting kisses on her breast and softly biting them, never leaving a mark, cautious to make sure he was not hurting her. The moans she emitted seemed to prove he was right on the money there and he felt like beating his chest in success. Carefully, he slid his mouth lower, kissed her belly button, making her laugh, and he pretended to want to tickle her, making her squirm. His target however, was very different, he just did not want her to overthink it.

He made his way down her body and noticed she had left her panties aside when she had gotten dressed for the night, making things so much easier for him. He kept on sliding down, until he found what he was looking for. He parted her legs and looked at his true prize. They shared a look and he saw that she was shivering perhaps in fear but mostly in anticipation. He kissed her slit, enjoying the slickness he found there. She was not faking, could not have been for the life of her. He had gotten her this aroused, and this made him want her more. Soon, he pushed his lips against her, and parted her lips with his tongue. She shivered again but urged him to keep on doing what he was doing. His fingers found the bundle of nerves he knew was so sensitive. She let out a loud moan, and he found himself saying:

“Let it out, Rey.”

“Ben,” she moaned. “Ben…”

It was music to his ears. However, before she could come, he pushed himself from her, and she helped him get rid of his trousers. Her eyes widened when she got her first glimpse of his naked body. He almost wanted to apologize, but big men were big all over. Alas, she was so small… He hoped he would not hurt her.

Her hands found his shaft and they started rubbing him up and down, to the point where he had to beg her to stop if she did not want an unpleasant surprise. She pouted, and he figured that perhaps on another occasion, he could let her have her fun.

Still carefully, he got himself on top of her small body, and aligned them together.

“Are you ready?” he whispered.

Sure, she had been fine with everything so far, but he wanted her to know that she could still decide that she had had enough.

“I am ready. Make me yours, Ben.”

Part of him wanted to go slow, but there was a voice in his head saying that while she might accommodate to his size, it would just make the dreaded moment longer and more painful.

“Trust me please, and I’m sorry,” he said in her ears.

She nodded in, and with one swift move, he was in her. She was so tight, he knew he had to have hurt her, yet he could not bring himself to regret it, for he had never felt more at home than he did then.

He saw her bite her lips, and forced himself to stay still, so that she could, this time, get used to the feeling of him in her. He wished it did not have to hurt, but he was no magician. He kissed her face, wiped away the lonely tear, and forced himself not to move an inch until she was ready. It had been so easy to slide in, for she had been so wet, but he did not want to make her hate what they were doing.

“I’m alright,” she finally said, and with great caution, he pulled almost all the way out.

Their eyes locked, and he slammed back in. This time she threw her head back in pleasure, and he wanted to weep at the feeling of her around him. Her legs went around his waist, and he was not sure she was aware that she was opening herself more to him.

Not about to kick a horse’s gift in the mouth, he plunged again, and again, each time shivering and longing for the next one. Being in her was like coming home.

“Please, Ben,” she asked, and he had no choice but to obey.

He picked up the pace, and he felt her hands around his ass, pushing him deeper each time. Her scent was in his nose, and the picture she was depicting was just too much, he could not stop. He looked for that bundle of nerves and felt her clench around him. This sent him over the edge, and he screamed her name as she did his.

It was heaven, or as close to it one alive could hope to get.

“I love you,” he blurted out, but thankfully she did not hear him.

He was not a blushing maiden, he had women in his bed before, but Rey… She was the queen, the empress. She was his, and his alone. He felt in awe at the fact that she had trusted him to go through with what she had been asking, that she had not complained, and how proud he felt at the fact that he had managed to make her first time not a bad memory. All in all, he was just proud of her. He could not explain it. Maybe there was magic in this cabin, but he knew that what they had shared was not something they could have gotten at the saloon, with the laughter from downstairs interrupting them or Bazine being loud next door. It was just about them. As it should have been. 

He rolled over, careful not to hurt her as he retreated, and she just sighed at the loss of him. If she kept this up, well, something else would be up soon, he thought, but kept the raunchy comment to himself.

They laid, side by side, trying to catch their breath.

“You finally had your prize,” she said, with a dreamy smile on her lips.

“All of you, is my prize,” he corrected her, and she chuckled.

She started playing with his nipples lazily, running circles around them, and he felt himself growing again.

“You’ve got to stop unless…”

“I do not want to stop,” she said.

She rolled on top of him.

Oh what a night.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely need some positive reinforcements aka reviews. the longer this fic goes, the less I have, which makes it hard to write when you don't know who's reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last part of their get away. Please do review  
> Many thanks to juniorjewel96 over at tumblr for her help!

Upon waking up, Rey felt disoriented. It was not the fact that she was not in her room in Jakku, though that realization deepened her sense of unease, but it was the fact that she was alone. Even since Kylo, or Ben, had entered her life, apart from that one morning when he had needed to be out, they always slept together. He always woke her up before leaving, if only to claim a kiss, and let her know he was not walking out on her.

However, she was naked, in a bed she did not know, and she was, plain and simple, alone.

She held back tears, as an ache made itself known at her core. She had lost her prize, her pride, the only thing people valued her for, and all she had to show for it was an ache in her lower belly, and an empty bed.

Had she finally become the whore she had tried so hard not to be?

Should she exclaim Hallelujah, having embraced her destiny, or sing a sad hymn to celebrate her downfall to where she had never wanted to go?

Lord help her…

_ Opportunistic believer _ , she heard Mary-Jacqueline say in her mind, and she cursed the nun. Who said they were creatures of God? For all they know, they could be working for the other guy.

Because, as far as things went, Rey was sure of one thing, if God’s existence was uncertain, the Devil was real. He had a different face and a different name, represented someone or something to whomever, but they all had their own personal devil.

She wondered if Ben was her fallen angel, the one leading her to perdition.

She was about to get out of bed, gripping the blanket when the cabin door suddenly opened, and there he was, in all his majestic glory, her Morningstar.

He had not gone.

He had not left her.

He had cooked her… eggs, was it?

He rushed toward her, still holding his pan and said:

“I’m so sorry Rey, I know you hate when I don’t wake you, but I thought you deserved the extra sleep and I wanted to cook some breakfast. I’m no Finn, but I did not want to wake you causing a ruckus inside, so I went outside to cook, well… eggs.”

“You cooked me eggs?” She said, with a smile slowly gracing her features.

“I wanted them to be sunny side up, but I realized we did not bring bread, and I had to go for an omelette instead,” he said, rambling, and she slid out of bed, almost running, to grab him by the neck and kiss him deeply.

Forget that ache, and all her dark thoughts. He had stayed. He was there. He was not like the other people in her life.

He thoroughly enjoyed the kiss, though he could not hug her, one of his hands making sure the pan did not touch her, and the other one holding a wooden spoon. When they broke apart, she remained on the tip of her toes, and he had to be bending slightly, but their forehead kept touching, as they both regained their breath.

“You thought I had left, didn’t you?” He asked.

His tone was non-accusatory, though he would have every right to be.

“It did cross my mind, when I woke up and your side of the bed was cold…” she confessed, feeling ashamed of having jumped to the wrong conclusion when he was being so wonderful.

“It is alright, Doll. Do not beat yourself up for this. I should have left a note, but we did not bring anything to write on. I wanted to surprise you, and thought I would be quick outside, but I guessed wrong.”

How could he not begrudge her for thinking the worst of him? She could not understand that perfect, senseless man.

“But I am beating myself up. I thought you were my own personal devil, having turned me into what I have to be but never want to get to, even thought of you as my fallen angel, and there you were, cooking me eggs…”

“Fallen angel, hum?” He picked up on that. “I don’t know about the angel part, but I do know I have fallen for you, hard, ever since you drew blood.”

She kissed again, especially the corner of his mouth she had hurt during their first encounter.

“Eggs,” he finally blurted out. “Unless you want to eat them cold, I need to put them on a plate.”

Reluctantly, she let him go and he motioned for her to go back to the bed. He had washed the dishes they had used the night before and was splitting the omelette in two parts, one with more on it than the other one. She figured he needed his fuel, even though she felt famished. However, when he came back to bed, juggling with the plates and the cutlery, he handed her the biggest portion.

“Are you sure?” She asked him.

“We spent quite a lot of energy last night, and while I am sure that you have had your fair share of wild adventures where you needed to get away and hide, I just feel like you must need to replenish your strength.”

She kissed him quickly, before diving in. He did the same, lying next to her on the bed. She was done with her plate before he was, and she took him in. He had not bothered putting back on all his Sheriff apparel. He was missing his jacket and hat, only wearing a white shirt and suspenders, along with his black pants. His feet were bare, and huge compared to hers. She amused herself putting them together and watching how much bigger than her he was, all over.

No matter how huge he was, he had fit in quite nicely the night before. She felt herself blushing, finally giving herself time to process her decision. She had no regrets, no sir. He had offered her a choice, something she had so rarely been given, and she had decided. She had chosen to be with him. She had wanted to give herself to him. He had offered her the perfect first time, in that terrible situation she was in. She had been granted a wonderful first time with a man who cared enough to not impose himself on her.

When he had stated what he thought they could do the night before, she had felt afraid at first, for perhaps a few seconds, and then she had been overcome by gratitude. Her first time was meant to be had in a saloon, where people could hear them, spy on them, just annoy them. Instead, he had taken her far away, or so it felt, and he had offered himself to her, and not the other way around. Sure, it had been her decision to act on what he had evoked, but he had laid himself bare in front of her, figuratively speaking, saying he was willing to have their first time here and there, even though he wanted her to be his, according to his previous declarations. He had heard her pleas, and had decided to forego his own requirement, for her. He had given her an opportunity to gain back her narrative, as he had said before. She was not a whore whose virginity had been purchased, she had been a young woman, innocent, being offered a chance to give her virginity to someone she deemed worthy of it. She had been able to choose him, instead of him choosing her.

It had been quite a turmoil in her head, waiting for him to come back, half naked in bed, but she had absolutely no regrets. Sure, there had been pain, but it was nothing compared to what some nasty people had told her to expect. There had been respect, and desire, and mutual admiration. He had taken care of her, the same way he was doing right now by making sure she was well-fed.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked, between two bites, having noticed how she eyed him.

“You,” she simply said.

“Funny, I was thinking about the same thing,” he winked, and Lord, she wanted him again, every day, as many times as one could have another, and once more on Sundays.

“I think…. I might be falling for you,” she heard herself say, but had to stop him from speaking as her statement needed to be amended.

He was looking at her wide-eyed, yet, hopeful? At least that was what she hoped he was.

“I know I am falling for you, if I’ve not touched the ground just yet,” she stated again. “It’s not the gallantry, it’s not the money, it’s not the constant saving me, though all of those are nice and fine. It’s those eggs and everything they represent. You do not take me for granted. You listen when I speak. You do not believe you know better than I do, except when you think it, but on those occasions, you’re usually right. It’s just… you, I guess.”

She found herself blushing while muttering:

“That was pretty lame, I know I made Shakespeare want to die again with my sad tirade and metaphor.”

“He can die again, for all I care. His time is past, and ours is now. I told you where I’m at. I don’t scare easily, and I want to keep doing things for you. I never wanted to take care of anybody, but when I’m with you, I just cannot help myself. I hate that you still have eight months and two weeks left on your contract with Unkar. I want you to be mine.”

“I am yours.”

“You’re yours first, and perhaps mine second.”

“Oh boy, you are going to make sure I hit the ground hard falling, won’t you?” She joked.

“I’ll be there to catch you,” he whispered, and there was a light in his eyes.

How could he be so expressive? And why was she wasting time thinking about stupid things like that?

She carefully put away her plate and his while she was at it, and started kissing him, languorously.

He did not need to be offered twice, and soon enough, they were both naked and she was getting acquainted with every inch of his body, where he liked to be touched, how to drive him crazy.

“You’re sore?” he asked, worried, when he saw her wince after he slid inside her.

“Just a tad, but don’t you dare stop.”

He did not stop, to his credit, but he took things so slow, she could have screamed and begged for more. Holding onto his back, scratching it, she came for what felt the longest time. She could feel him spilling his seed inside of her, and while the thought had disgusted her when she had entered her stupid contract with Unkar, she liked it then.

He rolled them over, both breathing heavily, and let her go for a second, in order to search for something in one of his trousers’ pockets. He handed her a vial, filled with liquid and said:

“I went to a doctor in Tucson and got you a true and non-poisonous anti-pregnancy potion,” he said, blushing.

She smiled, and drank it, thankful for his thoughtfulness. It had no distinct taste, which was a nice change from Unkar’s terrible brewage.

“I’ve got more back at the jailhouse, I’ll leave it on your window when we get back,” he said.

She kissed him again.

“What was that for?” He asked.

“Do I need a reason?”

“You don’t, but I would like to know just so that I can do it again and get more,” he said.

She laughed before kissing him again.

They stayed under the blanket for the longest time, as she played with his nipples, and traced his abs with her fingers. He did some exploring of his own, and she discovered how to make him come without having him in her. She liked it better when he came in her, but sore as she was, she was just pleased he was pleased, no matter how corny it sounded.

Finally, they packed their things, aware they had to go back to the saloon and to their real lives.

The ride was a silent one, but a wonderful one, for she just plastered herself against Ben and let him pretend he was accidentally brushing his hands against her breasts. She could get him back for this later.

Then Jakku came into sight. She expected despair to doom on her, but it seemed that the euphoria she had gained that night and morning was enduring.

Though, just as they were about to part, she found herself turning to meet his stare, and said:

“Where did you get the eggs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, thoughts? Reviews? I direly need them.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to juniojewel96 at tumblr for her work looking over this piece!

She would have thought that losing her virginity, auctioned away like it was nothing when it was everything to her, would have been the most traumatic and painful thing she would ever go through. However, when she got a glimpse of the saloon where she was selling her body every night, albeit to the same man, she suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

“Don’t worry, little one,” Ben had whispered in her ear, “I feel it too.”

It was only because he was there to hold her hand and to walk her on the short path that she was able to get her foot back in that dreaded place. Gone was their beloved moment, a parenthesis she would worship forever. Back was the time when she would be called a golden cunt by Unkar and made fun of by Bazine.

“There is our prize,” the saloon owner exclaimed when he saw them cross his threshold. “Hope you did not get too bad a pounding, you’re working tonight. There’s a colony of cowboys in town, on the trail of who the fuck cares, and I need you to be on deck, to be there and to be able to handle them.”

There was that stomach ache again. Lord, give her strength.

Alas, the Lord was not there, but she was not alone.

“I’ll protect you from those boys,” Ben, er, Kylo said in a low voice only she could hear.

She nodded in the slightest fashion, wanting him to know she had heard him, but not wanting to give anything away to others. She grabbed her bag and walked upstairs, where she was soon assaulted by her fellow prostitute, taunting her about all the money she had made on Saturday night thanks to her being gone when she was not asking inappropriate questions about Rey’s get-away with the Sheriff. The young woman said nothing, did not let herself be baited, as she considered there was nothing to brag about having had so many men in one night.

Maybe, in another town, she would have found a girl who did the same job she did, begrudgingly or embracing it, but still able to see that she was no competition, that she was not chasing customers. In another life, she would have encountered a woman who would have given her good advice, or would have been able to listen without feeling like her own light was diminishing by giving a newcomer to this world a ear to confess her fears and actual questions.

However, there was no point in hoping for something different. Besides, she felt stronger, she was not sure there were good words to express it, but the fact was, she felt stronger knowing she had known a great embrace with a man worthy of her time, maybe even more worthy than she was herself, who had taken a liking in her, and had taken such great care of her. Sure, Rey wished she could ask someone how long the ache in between her legs would last, if it would remain painful to have him in her, even though in the end he made it absolutely worth it.

She could see his naked body behind her closed eyes, and she was filled with a sense of pride. Bazine would never ever see him in that way. She would call him Sheriff, if she knew what was good for her, and try to stay clear from him as he was clearly not interested in what she was selling, and she just would never know the effect that being called “Ben” had on him. She would never see that facet of their lawman. He was hers.

She hoped she would keep on being his. After what he had given her, it would feel so horrible to have to mimic this with someone else.

Rose went to her bedroom claiming she had forgotten to change her bed clothes that morning, but they exchanged a long look, and Rey could see that the girl was trying to assess what had happened. Rey could only guess what rumours Unkar and his cronies had peddled while she was away. The laundry girl seemed to be alright with what she saw and she wished her a good evening, after briefly squeezing her hand.

Rey ended up in front of her dressing table, one more time, and she looked at her reflection. Bazine had been right, it did not show, yet, she could tell. The face she saw in the mirror was not the same she had seen before this trip. There was something more, something hard to define. She looked… healthy? Surely it could not be that. She looked more posed perhaps. She looked more at ease with herself. The girl who ran and stolen was still there but there was a new woman, one who seemed to know more.

She laughed and stopped staring at her reflection. There was no point searching for something only she could see. It was just so many things put together. There was what had been done, what was given and not lost, and the new knowledge it came with. Ben had freckles, very faint on his cheeks, which only showed when he blushed. He also had a few scars on his thighs from falling when he was a kid. When he came, he had an intense expression, like he was getting lost, like he was leaving his consciousness behind. All of these new pieces of information were precious, and she cherished them.

That night, he boughther before any of the cowboys and their grubby hands could. She led him to her room, feeling trepidation. When he did not seem in a hurry to undress, she was overtaken by fear. What if he had bought her out of habit? What if he wanted to go back to sleeping next to her and that was it?

“Doll, what’s happening?” He asked, when he sensed her discomfort.

“I… I just do not know what to expect. We are not strangers anymore and yet, we…”

“Do go on,” he said, putting his gloves away, as well as his hat.

She found herself fixated on the shining star on his shirt and wondered what a man of the law was doing with her.

He followed her gaze and removed the badge.

“I am still me,” he finally said.

She went to him, and kissed his lips, to assure him she understood, but also to reassure herself. He seemed to be holding her at arm’s length, quite literally, and she had to push herself against his chest.

Maybe this was it. Maybe he did not want her anymore. That would be such a terrible blow.

When he let her go, she went back to the dressing table, and proceeded to undo her hair, to give herself something to do.

“If you won’t have me anymore, do not protect me. You cannot give me a glimpse into everything there is out there, and then snatch it away from me. If it is your intention, please, I beg you, spare me, and let me embrace my destiny. I don’t need saving night after night. I have customers waiting,” she said in a tone which was much braver than she felt.

He appeared out of nowhere behind her and forced her to spin around. Next thing she knew, they were on her bed and she was on her back, being kissed senseless.

So, he would not let her rot…

But who said he could have all the power? She managed to push them around, until she was on top. Even below her, he was still much stronger, and all but shredded her corset before diving for her breasts.

“Always hated the stupid thing anyway,” she said and she felt him laugh as he dealt with the rest of her attire.

* * *

This went on for a while. Unkar was getting so aggravated, she wished she could have given a care, but honestly she just did not. Every night, the Sheriff would appear, and put the pin on her, before going to pay Unkar. This made the man almost drool with anger, but he could not afford to say anything to a man of his position. Some nights, they would dance for a short while, then she would lead Kylo to her room, then make love to Ben.

It was perfect.

Six weeks in, she got her period, and wanted to die inside at the thought of not seeing the man she relied so much on. He had become the constant in her life, the one person she could talk to. They would shag every night and had it not been for the mixture he had bought for her, she would probably be pregnant by now. Every night was a new discovery. Some nights, she got to be on top, to imprint the pace of their coupling, and he had to restrain himself to let her do as she liked.

She had not slept alone once in all of six weeks. But she would that night, she knew she would. She was not allowed out of her room, and was not able to send Rose to give him a note. In a couple of days, she would be able to dance again, while waiting for her to be… open to business, as Bazine would call it.

She thought of that Sunday midday when she had gone to the prison, and they had screwed on top of his desk, knowing he had a couple of men in custody just a door away. He had turned her into a wanton woman.

He had also persisted on teaching her how to read, and she had to put a hand on her breast when she remembered that time he had insisted she finished Shakespeare’s sonnets while he was in her, taking her from behind, her hand gripping the dressing table.

She tried to stop herself from going down that road. How could she miss him that much? She should not let a man have such power over her.

However, everywhere she went into her room, she was assaulted by memories of them. Sometimes they were shagging, sometimes he was pushing the hair from her face, or making fun of the three buns she often made of her hair, when she was not supposed to be all dolled up to go downstairs.

So far, with the way things had been going, regulars did not even try to buy her anymore. When Kylo heard about a new group coming into town, he would be there at the opening of the saloon and stake his claim as soon as Unkar would allow him to.

He was being brilliant at being her naughty knight in shiny armour.

She felt on the verge of tears, and blamed her womanly conditions for getting her so.

It was then she heard a pebble, then another. She ran to her window, and she smiled against his mouth when he smashed through her window.

“Told you I don’t care about you being indisposed.”

And truly, he did not. Who would have thought that having a man in you was the best remedy to the pain periods caused? People never would find out if they kept acting like women on their cycle carried the plague. Then again, who the fuck cares? Was her last thought, as he clawed at her, and kept on bringing her on the brink of orgasm.

* * *

All in all, things were good, she thought, as she celebrated her third month being in the saloon. Her money pouch was getting fatter and she had only had one man, one man she wanted so much.

That was, until that night…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please please review.... I need it more than ever. I need something to cheer me up, I've been crying for days.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to juniorjewel96 on tumblr for proofreading this chapter!

There was something wrong in the air, Kylo thought as he exited the jailhouse. He just could not put his finger on it, but he could feel it.

He had left Rey’s bed that morning very much against his will, but some Marshall had erupted in the saloon, saying they were holding three bandits and needed to put them in jail until some backup arrived and allowed him to take his prisoners to wherever. Unkar had been delighted in all but kicking Kylo out of Rey’s bed. The Sheriff knew the saloon owner resented him for staying the night, time and time again. He would have liked for the woman he considered his girl to take more than one customer per evening, but Kylo always paid way more than a simple roll in a bed covered. The saloon owner wanted it all, the extra money, and the extra business Rey would bring if she tossed him out of her room at night.

Thankfully, she never wanted him out of her bed.

Sometimes, he found himself wishing they were up north, near his family, and he could not work, just spend the day in bed with Rey, without ever thinking about what people would think and how he should act. The more he was with her, the harder it became to distinguish Ben from Kylo.

Even though the sun was barely setting, he felt a chill down his spine, and hurried for the saloon. There was a tingling on the back of his neck, and it was not a good one. He needed to see Rey, even if he had to claim till nine to claim her, he needed to see that she was there, and alright.

When he entered the saloon however, he was thoroughly displeased. She was not there, and he hoped she had just gone to the kitchen to fetch a dish perhaps. However, he could feel something in his bones, something that just did not bode well.

He waited, ten minutes, the ten longest minutes in his life. Even when he had gone out of the cabin in order to let her reach a decision about whether or not to be with him, it had not been this excruciating. He found himself smiling at the thought of that wonderful night.

“Whatcha smiling about?” Unkar asked, coming out from behind the bar.

The tingling got stronger, so much stronger, and it took all of Kylo’s willpower not to simply rush up the stairs to Rey’s room.

“None of your business. I believe my girl is missing tonight. Is she… indisposed again?” He asked, praying to the gods, Christian ones, pagan ones, the whole bunch that it was the case even though she had been so less than two weeks before.

“Nay,” Unkar said, before going back behind his bar.

Kylo could have killed him, but he forced himself to stay still and not betray his inner turmoil.

“Did the kitchen need help?” He asked.

“Nay.”

The bastard was having way too much fun with this, but Kylo was the poor sucker in this case and had no choice but to ask again.

“Is she sick then?”

“Nope.”

“Here is the thing, Plutt,” Kylo said, before putting his gun on the counter. “I am in no mood to play your games. I want my cock up your girl’s cunt” – Lord, he hated the words he had to utter to keep their charade up – “and I want it now. So be a good madame and just ring for her to come down.”

“Ain’t gonna happen,” the man started joyfully.

He blanched when he saw the sheriff cork the trigger.

“Reverend Snoke is in town.”

Fuck no.

Fuck no.

For fuck’s sake, no!

“Keep talking, unless you want a new asshole.”

“Bazine won’t have him, but Rey will have you so she must be into pain, ‘cause you love inflicting pain, don’t you, Sheriff? Anyway, when Snoke started preaching in the saloon, I introduced him to Rey. They’re in her room as we speak. I was able to convince Bazine to come down and take care of her customers. Do you want a ride with her?”

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.  _ Keep your game face on _ , he told himself, but he wanted to scream.

“You know that cunt does nothing for me. I guess I’ll go drink at the jailhouse then. I would hate to see the dear old reverend.”

Slowly, excruciatingly so, he got up from his seat, and put his gun back by his side. He exited the saloon, forcing himself to walk at the slowest pace possible so as not to arouse suspicions, but there was a storm brewing inside him.

Snoke was there.

Snoke was with Rey.

Snoke was a sadistic piece of shit who did not deserve to breathe the same air she did.

He pretended to go back to the jailhouse, but as soon as he was out of sight and the night was covering him, he ran back to the saloon, to Rey’s window. He climbed the barrels he had used so many times before, and he managed to reach the window. It was open, but he was too horrified to act on it.

Rey was tied to a chair, with a cloth in her mouth, keeping her from screaming. She had tears strolling down her cheeks, and there was blood, so much blood.

***

Snoke was pacing in front of her, probably doing one of his sermons, and the woman looked beyond terrified. There was a bloodied knife on her dressing table, and Kylo could see that Snoke had used it to tear her dress apart, never caring for the flesh beneath the fabric.

His heart tore when he realized he had offered that very knife a few weeks back when one of the customers had been too handsy during a dance and he had needed to intervene. Unkar kept on looking on the verge of throwing fits upon watching the Sheriff step in, and even more so upon seeing him give the woman he considered his girl a knife to defend herself. He had tried saying something about whores not needing protection. It had taken all of Kylo’s control not to slap him across the face. And if the scene he was witnessing was any indication, Rey had needed the knife.

He cut his musing short and saw that the window was slightly open. Silently, he managed to inch it open furthermore, and he raised himself on the balcony. He made sure his gun was at his side, but he was so enraged, his fist could have done the job without him flinching. He saw Rey’s eyes widen as she spotted him entering but smartly, she made sure to not stare so as not to clue in Snoke.

“You’re a cunt, that’s what you are,” the reverend was saying, playing with the whip he always kept at his belt. “You think you’re something else because people give you money for what’s between your legs”, he went on, trailing the strands on leather in the spot he was mentioning, “but you’re just a cunt. Your face does not matter. All that does is your cunt, ass and tits. Then again, when it comes to tits, you must have missed the day those were given away by our lord and savior Jesus Christ.”

Sick, pathetic, terrifying Snoke. He was still on, droning on the same thing. In time, after having spent one too many a year with him, Kylo had realized that Snoke had no interest for women but a need for carnal pleasure. He got it from making people suffer, and when they were riding together, Kylo had seen his old mentor get hard while thrashing bandits they were capturing. It had disgusted him, but it was nothing in comparison to the hate and need to vomit he felt at this very second.

That old bastard intended to take a fucking pound of flesh from Rey in order to get himself hard, and then fuck her painfully, making sure she would remember him with every subsequent fuck.

The last straw for Kylo had been stumbling on the man mutilating a native woman he had taken hostage away from their camp. The young man had rescued her, getting called names and more by the old man, but he knew, he just knew that the wound inflicted on such a fragile part of her anatomy meant there would be no pleasure for her in her life. Snoke had been quite cruel this way because the tribe she belonged too allowed women to choose their husbands, and even, lovers when the husband was not up to the task. Snoke had wanted to turn her into a “good Christian girl” according to him. He had just wanted to inflict as much pain as possible on someone who could not denounce him to the authorities, Kylo knew.

Silently, he creeped into the room, trying not to focus on the old man’s speech, knowing it would make him see red with rage.

“Ah, there you are Kylo Ren, my student!” Snoke said, without turning, as if sensing him, and Kylo wanted to yell in frustration.

How did the old bastard still manage to feel him coming?

Then again, he had felt all day long like something was wrong, and seeing his old mentor gave all this nagging a meaning.

“Master,” he said, pretending to bow his head, hoping Rey would see through this charade.

“I have been told by some wanderers that there is a whore in Jakku who only ever has one client, the Sheriff, can you believe it?” Snoke went on, finally turning to face him.

Kylo said nothing. The man knew what he knew, and denying it would only mean revenge on Rey for lying to his old mentor.

“Tst tst tst,” Snoke went on, still playing with his dirty whip. “I think we need to give this bitch a thrashing, to teach her her place. Who does she think she is? Jezebel? Delilah? Is she going to cut your hair, Leviathan, while you sleep? Surely we cannot let that take place.”

All those fucking biblical references… How come the man could not see he was Evil incarnate? Not Lucifer, the fallen angel who was still a child of God, but the spawn of the purest form of evil ever seen on this Earth.

“Whatever you deem necessary, master,” he said, meekly.

Snoke put his frumpy hands around his face and he had to hold still not to recoil and punch him in the face. He would have loved to crack some bones, but he needed a way to get Rey out of this nightmare so that her next stop would not be the jailhouse.

He would look for her, after her, if push came to shove, but he did not want to think about her losing her freedom. Free Rey was his favourite of the many avatars the woman offered.

“How could you let a dirty two cents whore bewitch you, my boy? I told you better. She is the enemy. We will thrash her and fuck her. Then we will leave, you will come with me. You know only I can give you what you need.”

Oh Lord, what must Rey be thinking of this exchange?

“We will leave her behind, and with her, your sin. You will be born again, in the blood of this whore. We must annihilate her, surely you can see that. She would always remain a weakness of yours otherwise, a pet you would like too much.”

“Yes master,” he replied again.

His eyes met Rey, and there was defiance in her stare. She was believing the nonsense he was going along with. Surely, she should know him better…. Then again, she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

He would never let her go. He would always protect her.

He walked in the bedroom, and came closer to the woman, who was torn between disbelief and betrayal.

_ Oh Rey. Don’t you know me at all? _

“This woman has been my Achille’s heel, I realize it now,” he said, feeling like a puppet reciting a text someone had written for him. “I let her emotion contaminate me, instead of following your lessons, such wonderful lessons which got me, till here, away from my dirty and perverted parent and family.”

He did not need to turn around to know that Snoke had to be smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

“You will pay for your trespassing, with your flesh.”

Oh yes. Often, the old man had threatened Kylo to have him flagellate himself in order to chase his sins. He would have gotten off on knowing his apprentice was in pain, that was for certain.

Kylo kept on walking, till the dressing table. He pretended to look at his face in the mirror, even though he was stealing looks at Rey and Snoke. What to do, what to do?

His hand encountered something hard, and he felt his knife almost naturally lodge itself in his hand.

“I’m sorry master,” he said, turning around, hiding the knife in the back of his trousers. “I know I let you down.”

“We’re all flesh, boy, but you need to stop giving in to all your basic and dirty instincts.”

He sure was one to talk.

Slowly, making sure his back could not be seen, he turned to face Rey halfway.

He wanted to remove the gag, to free her, to assess her injuries, but he could not.

However, the woman seemed to have reached her last hope, and she managed to dart from the chair, turning him around to grab the knife, cutting his back as she did so, and she ran screaming toward Snoke.

With a simple throw of his whip and taking advantage of the fact that blood had stopped flowing in her legs from being tied up, Snoke tossed her to the ground, the leather band coming to wrap themselves around the woman’s neck.

She ended up on the floor, coughing as the gesture had allowed her to remove the dirty cloth, but she looked so vulnerable.

“Such spirit. If she was not a whore, she could have proved worthy of our discipline,” the old man said, and Kylo wanted to throw up at the mere idea. “However, you see why she must suffer.”

“I do, master.”

“You must weaken your greatest weakness until she is not more.”

Kylo said nothing, trying to think about what to do and how to do it. Sure, he had his gun but if he fired, everybody would be coming up to the room.

“She is your worst enemy, I am your path to redemption,” the dirty old man went on.

Kylo took a few steps forward and grabbed the knife.

“Yes,” Snoke said. “You are embracing your destiny; you know what you must do…”

He walked toward Rey, his eyes fixated on her, hoping to convey everything he was was feeling to her in a glance.

“I know what I must do,” he repeated.

Then, he turned around, and stabbed Snoke in the throat.

The man fell to the ground but he could not give two fucks. He ran to Rey, and helped her remove her bounds, kissing her wounds, and whispering words he would later realize were “I love you” to her.

“I thought you were going to side with him,” Rey wept in his arms, after she allowed him to touch her.

“Never. You’re my one and only, you’re my mate.”

She put her hands on his face, and this time he leaned into the embrace, wanting her to recognize the man she knew and appreciated.

“Well, well, well, what the fuck have you two done?” Unkar asked, from the door he had just opened.

Well.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please leave a review and help me write faster!


	18. Chapter 18

Kylo’s blood boiled in his veins, and he jumped so fast Unkar did not time to realize he was in his face. The Sheriff grabbed him by the neck and said:

“You filthy son of a bitch.”

“Watch what you’re saying,” the man uttered between two coughs,” I’m not the one standing in another man’s blood.”

“But you are, you asshole. You knew what he would do to Rey when you let him buy her. You knew what she would be risking every time you did not let me buy her in advance…”

“What can I say, I liked the thrill, wondering if you would make it to the saloon in time, or if you would but still would be too late for the buying portion.”

“He’s looking at me,” Rey whispered, and Kylo’s head snapped back.

She was on the ground, looking at the shell that had once been his mentor and the person he trusted more than anything in the world. What a fool he had been. What a child….

But Rey was no child, and she had always avoided violence in her life from what she had confided in him. What had just happened, this was not her bread and butter, this was a once in a lifetime hopefully nightmare she did not know how to deal with.

“We’ll never get the blood out of this carpet,” she said, still on the floor, looking like she was in a completely different world.

In that moment, Kylo felt the shift in him, the Big Shift, the Yang to the Ying he had felt years earlier. Just as, when he had been nineteen, he had felt himself become Kylo and forsake Ben, he was now forsaking Kylo and welcoming back Ben, hoping the young boy would be good enough to take him back after all he had done.

With this revelation, another push forth, and he had no time to analyse what he was saying, so he was as surprised as Rey and Unkar when he spoke:

“You may have liked the game, but we’re not playing anymore. Rey is mine. I will pay for every night she should have worked till the end of your contract, that’s another three month and a week. I will even pay for Sunday nights. Rey will come and live with me at the Sheriff’s house.”

“Well, who the fuck do you think you are? I bought that cunt!”

“We have an agreement, but I am my own person,” Rey said, finally standing away from Snoke’s body. “You took advantage of a time when I was in need, and instead of giving me a way out, like you did with Rose and her sister Paige, you just basked in my misery. I know you could have given me the job I wanted, waiting on people, and never having to sell my virginity away. But you wanted it you heard about that Saloon who had done it a hundred miles away and how much money was made with that deal. Instead of being decent, you were a cunt.”

“You don’t get to back down from your contract, Miss holier than thou!”

“Actually, I read her contract, when I amended it under your supervision, and it said that she was supposed to offer her virginity, which she did, but the rest was pretty much muddled, because there are rumours soon you won’t be able to have whores anymore in your salon, so it only states she has to be there every night and help. I think that’s what she should do.; Every night, she will come, and wait on the customers. She will dance, if she chooses so, and you will give her her share of the money on Saturdays, as planned. Since she won’t be living with you anymore, you won’t have to take such a big commission on every penny she earns.”

He could feel Rey giving him a look, as she tried to remember the details of that shameful contract she had signed very quickly because she was so miserable and felt like there was no way out. However, he had a good memory, and he knew what wording had been used in the contract. Apart from her virginity, there was no section which mentioned her selling her body. Even her virginity, in fact, had been called in metaphors such as a “precious prize”, a “token”, because Unkar was terrified that if the Arizona territory joined the Union, it would have to deal with the laws on prostitution, and those were being heavily discussed in Washington. He should know, his mother was having his father lead the charge to prevent young girls being enslaved under another name. 

“You are one dirty son of a bitch. I could just go to the telegraph and tell whoever that you killed Snoke.”

“That’s right, and you would make our lives hell, Rey and I running away from the law, not before I obviously will have severed your head from the rest of your body. Or you could keep your mouth shut, put an ad for another entertainer, and let Rey bring in some money. You would still be getting a share for every night she spends with me. But if that just doesn’t suit you, Rose and Paige came down earlier this month to tell me about that girl, Celia, you named her? The one from the Navajo tribe, that you actually sold as a sex slave.”

It would be mutually assured destruction, if Unkar turned him in and the last thing Ben did on his way out of the Sheriff’s house was to report the poor girl’s story, but he was willing to go there. He was tired of playing this game, and he knew Rey could not stand it either. She was the only one who made him want to change and as luck would have it, he was the only one she wanted in her bed. This constant fear, those sick games Unkar was playing, It ended now. He would take Rey away, and she would work for the remainder of her contract, but once it was done, they were out of here.

“Who would believe you?” Unkar asked, but Ben could tell the man was on the last rope.

“I sent all the testimonies, along with Celia’s, who I found once when I was away, and I put it in a safe in Tucson. One of my friend knows that the moment he hears word of a warrant written to my name, he has to air it out”

It was true. Celia was a poor little creature, too abused by life, whom he had met about a month or so ago when Paige and Rose had come in and had told him where to find her; He had left the poor abused girl with all the money he could part with, and the address of a friend who would hire her as a maid if she felt safe enough to be in the vicinity of men. After meeting her, Ben had sworn to himself he would never let anything like that happen to Rey. However, today was proving that he had no control over things.

“So what is it going to be, hum”? He asked, pretending to feel cold and steady when he was still shaken to his core from everything that had happened that night.

“Rey never said she wanted to live with you.”

“I never believed such an obvious truth needed to be spoken out loud. I want to live with the Sheriff,” and Ben knew she had almost called him by his name in front of the man responsible for this nightmare. “I want to live away from you and Bazine. I may have to work for you, but I do not have to stand your company when I am not working.”

“So you’ll be an entraineuse,” Unakr said, using the fancy word meaning a girl who only sold dances, “what you’ve wanted all along. You are a conniving….”

“Watch your language,” Ben said in a low voice. “You will have two girls, just one who does not put out. Bazine used to do it before, I’m sure she’ll love being the only one for sale in the joint.”

Unkar was fucked, just as they were.

“What do we do with Snoke?” He finally asked.

“We wait till you close the saloon. With the help of Rey, and perhaps Finn, I will dispose of the body.”

“And what are we supposed to do until then?”

“You go back downstairs and be the pimp you always are. You sell what you have to sell, Rey can’t come down, people know what Snoke was like to pleasure girls. We will stay here, then get rid of that pathetic excuse of a human being. In the meantime, Rey will be packing her belongings. You will keep on providing her dresses, so she will pack a few to take back with me.”

He had to bite his tongue not to say, “at home”.

“And this thing will be done. What do you say Unkar?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You do, it’s just about whether or not you wish to live”

“I guess I have to go with your plan. However I don’t want to be involved with whatever you do to dispose of the man. And I will take a fee for cleaning the rug from Rey’s wages.”

“You do that,” Ben said, as he pushed the man out of the room.

And then they were left alone.

He had no idea what to say, what she wanted to hear, what he needed to say out loud. She stole the words away from him when she ran into his arms and said:

“Thank you.”

“I put you in a terrible position, we will always be looking over our shoulders…”

“But you saved me,” she said, and when their eyes met, he knew she meant it

“Ben”, He said.

“That is what I thought. Kylo was the name Snoke made you choose, wasn’t it?”

So smart.. Too smart.

“Yes, when it’s just us, I will never use it. In public however, we will need to keep the charade up.”

“And what happens when my contract is up?”

“We run away. We’ll figure it out.”

She buried her face in his chest, and he had to keep himself from kicking the dead man upon spotting traces of abuse on her body.

“Pack your things, love, we’re leaving this rathouse.”

“Good.”

“Are you alright with the deal I made with Unkar?” He asked. “I knew I should have asked sooner but I was too busy trying to iron it out….”

“Of course, I’m alright with it.”

So she started packing her things

Much later that night, after they had carried the dead body out of the saloon and dumped it into a pigsty where the animals had a feast on the corpse, Ben carried Rey back to the jailhouse, her few belongings on his horse.

He got her inside, and got her into the inhabited part of the building. They would need to talk later on, since he had no intention whatsoever to let her go to work without being there to make sure Unkar was not getting sloppy with things now that he felt like he was being robbed, and letting people hurt Rey, but the night had been too eventful.

He laid her on his bed, and she reached for his hand.

Tonight was not a night for carnal pleasure, but for comfort. He slid in bed with her, and held her, until she fell asleep, his real name on her lips. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update but this corvid situation is crazy and not in a good way. 
> 
> Please please, please, leave a kudos or a review, it would make my day (as I am like all French people, being forced to self-quarantine for the next 5 weeks)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thanks to juniojewel96 over @ tumblr for betaing this piece!

Rey had felt truly shaken to her core when they had arrived in the early hours of morning to the jailhouse. This had been a place she had avoided all her life, or at least ever since she had left the orphanage. Calling it home was not something that would happen overnight, let alone in the span of a few hours. 

They had slept and woken up just a few hours later. He had been called away to deal with some bandits, and she had been left alone to take in her surroundings. It had felt like an out of body experience to place her things alongside his. She looked outside the window, and every time people whispered together, she wondered if Snoke had been found, and if so, were they talking about the fact that she had been the last one to see him? When two women got together, she wondered if the whole town already knew about the new arrangements and her new living quarters.

She did not feel imprisoned, per se, nor did she look forward to going back to work that night, but there was a time when she did not know what was happening, what she was doing, and what was coming next. Instead, she focused on simple tasks, such as fixing some lunch and doing a spot of cleaning, though everything was quite neat for a bachelor’s pad.

He had come home in the afternoon and she had reheated his plate. He had made her sit on his lap as he ate, and for the first time since waking up, she had felt grounded, like there was finally something and someone she could call home.

In the end it took her a few more days, and a few more nights working at the saloon just dancing and waiting on customers for it to feel like they had finally found their footing.

A new routine was set. They would go to bed together, as he would stay in the saloon to look over her, now that Unkar barely considered her safety his job, and then they would get back to their bed. She would wash off the scent of the saloon, the tobacco, the drunken men off her skin, and from her hair, then she would join him in bed. In many aspects, it reminded her of their interlude in the cabin. They were alone. Their rule was the land’s too. What they wanted to do, they could. What they felt like saying, they had all the liberty in the world to do so. It was just them. Her, him, their new routine, their bed, their belongings… He gave her the fabric he had bought for her before they had become lovers, and during the day she would work on making it a dress, something she did not really know how to do, but Rose turned out to be an ally and would come to the jailhouse to help her learn how to plan and cut and sew everything. Rey was so thankful for the woman, she had no words to express her relief.

When she was finally done, she waited for Kylo to come home on a Sunday when he had been called away, then showed him what she had made. It had not taken him long to get her on her back, her beautiful dress raised up to her waist as he moved between her legs, making her moan and scratch his back.

More than once was the no procreating potion forgotten, but since Rey was not back on a regular cycle, it did not feel important. The body had to heal before it could conceive, she would often think to herself.

So she danced and waited, and he watched and brought her back to the jailhouse. Anytime a man put his hands somewhere she did not want, he would end up with the Sheriff in his face, and Unkar had gotten used to losing customers because of Ben’s temper.

All three of them could wait for the contract to run its course. Unkar brought in a new girl, Shae, who did the job Rey had been supposed to do, and there was less and less work each night, as men fought for the right to have a go in one of the two “working” girls’ bed. Shae was actually nice, and cordial. She must have gotten the story from Bazine, for when she told it to Rey, it was so twisted, it barely resembled what had happened anymore, but she kept an open mind and listened to the girl’s tale as Rey helped her with her hair one evening.

Shae had been left behind by a ranchero who had promised her the moon and the stars before all but selling her to a brothel. She had worked her way out of that one and had ended up at Jakku’s saloon. According to her, it was an improvement. Rey could only trust her word. She had been lucky enough to only have that one experience, and for her path to cross Ben’s, or Kylo as the rest of the town still knew him.

“I put in my notice for a transfer,” he told her one Sunday evening, as she was bringing him his dinner.

She was pretty much naked, only wearing garters as those were his guilty pleasure, and she turned her head quickly to face him.

“What?”

“In three weeks, we go to Unkar and get the money from your contract. I’m sorry I did not consult you about this, but I remembered the talk we had that night, and I figured you would not want to stick around longer. So I sent my notice to the Sheriff’s department for them to either send someone to take my place in three weeks-time or for them to decide that Jakku is too lost a place for them to care.”

“What will we do then?”

“Whatever we want,” he said as he pulled her onto his lap. “I’m guessing they will offer me a new assignment, sheriffs are in short supply, but I was thinking we could take a break.”

“A break?” She parroted, too distracted by his warmth.

“I have friends in Tucson. I can send them a telegram and maybe they can take us in for, let’s say a week or two, just enough time to decide what’s next, to decide our options…”

“But what will people say?”

“Who the fuck cares?”

“I do not want to be a scarlet woman for the rest of my life,” she said, and she realised it was true.

She had somehow managed to not be a whore, but she did not want to ruin it all and become another harlot of some sort.

“I would offer marriage but you’re too close to my groin, I’m afraid you would castrate me.”

“I would not,” she said, shifting and thus almost doing what he said she would be doing.

“Well, when I offered for you to wear my last name since you had none, you told me it was not the time.”

“I want to be in love when I marry… If I marry…”

“Oh you’ll marry, I’m sure, if only because I will ask one day and you’ll say yes.”

“Cocky man,” she crooned, before planting a kiss on his crooked nose.

“I thought my cock was one of the reasons you liked being around me…”

“Do not distract me, Ben Solo, we are having a serious conversation.”

“If it pleases you, dear… We could tell inquiring minds that you are my cousin, just widowed, staying with me until you decide what is next for you.”

“Why widowed?”

“Well, if you’re not a widow, people will think we are doing the nasty, which we are, mind you, because they are so used to getting married between cousins in this part, lack of suitable partners and all that. If you’re recently widowed, then you cannot be courted for six months to a year after the death of your dear husband, and it will take that thought away from prying mind. People do love their bible…”

She put her head against his and thought about it.

“You should send word to your friends,” she finally decided. “I do not know if we will be staying one week, or more, or less, but they should be aware, and agree.”

“That I can do. It will give us time to see how we feel in a different setting. With the widow apparel, we will have to hide your face behind a veil, such a pity, but it will make for less people figuring out who you are if they ever were in the vicinity of Jakku…”

“From a virgin whore to a widow secretly shagging her cousin… What a life I lead with you!”

“Hey, I offered for you to have my last name, and me, but you were adamant…”

“I … I feel things for you, Ben, things I have never felt. It’s because I have never experienced anything like this that I want to think things through.”

“I know, and I only jest. I was lucky enough not to have to struggle like you have from a young age, and I would never begrudge you for needing time, as long as you’re sure when you make your final decision. You do know I have never felt for a woman the way I do for you, right?”

She smiled and kissed his lips. Soon the dinner was forgotten, and the bed inhabited again.

Finally, they found themselves in front of the saloon, eighteen days later.

He offered her his arm, and she took it. She was shaking inside, but his presence soothed her anxiety.

They entered together, and were greeted by a leer and a snide comment:

“Don’t you look like royalty…” Bazine said.

“Easy to do compared to you,” was Rey’s quick comeback.

These few weeks working at the saloon, Bazine had become nastier and nastier, as if realizing for the first time she would never entice the Sheriff to bid on her. Rey had taken the brunt of her hostility, until she had snapped. Now she dished it as good as she took it.

“Where is Unkar?”

“I’m here,” the man said, coming out of the kitchen. “Well, don’t you look…”

“Bazine already beat you to it, we know.”

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Like you don’t know…” Ben said. “It’s time to give Rey her share of the bidding auction, as well as the last of her wages for the work she did this week.”

The man looked as if he had eaten a salted lemon. For all the effort he put into pretending Rey was nothing to his business, he sure looked reluctant to let her go.

“Rey, come on, you know he will grow tired of you… Stay here. You know what you are. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re something else.”

“I know what I am, my own person. I want my money. Ninety dollars, and my wages for the week. The dresses I took from here to work are on the horse outside, and I washed them for the next poor soul who will have to don them.”

The man begged, bargained, but in the end, he conceded. He went in the back to his office and got out of his safe the money he owed her. Rey took her sweet time counting it slowly, under Ben’s appreciative glance, making sure she was not getting robbed of a penny.

“Well”, she said, when the count was right, having forced the man to go back twice to adjust the total as some bills were missing, “I hope never to see you again, Unkar.”

As she got ready to leave this place, he grabbed her arm, and Ben was on him, ready to beat him into a bloody pulp.

“Remember, you tramp, remember what you and I, and Romeo over there know. We are bound, forever.”

She shook him off and they left. Ben was the one to bring back her clothes inside, as she was still shaken from the confrontation.

They went back to the jailhouse, preparing for their last night there.

“Are you ready?” Ben asked, coming beside her to kiss her neck as she was watching her reflection in the mirror.

“Am I still the same girl?” She asked. “The one you met in the woods all those months ago…”

“You were no girl then and are no girl now. You’re a woman, and no you have not changed, you’re still principled, and precious and loving, and caring…” He said as he trailed kisses for each of her qualities.

She smiled and grabbed his hip, pushing him against her.

When they were done, there was not one place in the jailhouse, cell included, which had not been the theatre of their lovemaking.

But in the morning, it would be time for a new life, their new life, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, say it loud, say it proud or say it in a meek voice, like it pains you to, but drop a word and help me get on my merry way. Reportin from days 6 of total quarantine, papers required to go out!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to juniorjewel96 over at tumblr for betaing it! On we go!

In the morning, he came at the jailhouse with a mare for her to ride on, and he left her alone to prepare for the trip, having brought over the last couple of weeks black fabric so she could cut and make her own widow attire. He bought a veil, and he donned it on her face, after kissing her with all his passion. Then, he led her outside, where they both got on their horses, and quickly enough, Jakku was just an image behind them, fading away with each mile they put between them.

Ben was trying his best to appear in control, as he did not want Rey to worry, but still, there was a nagging voice in his head asking ‘do you think it’s going to be that easy?’, and it didn’t help that the voice sounded a lot like Snoke.

He looked over at his companion. She must have been sweating like mad, but she never complained under the terrible Arizonian sun. He could tell that she trusted him completely and implicitly, and it was both something that made his heart swell with pride and made him shake in his boots. All his life prior to her had been about himself, about what he wanted, about what he believed, and now, there was someone following him, of their own volition, trusting him to keep them safe when he did not know how he had managed to remain unharmed all these years.

He had left behind the sheriff star, for the next poor bastard who would take the Jakku assignment. He had in one of his pockets a list of offices he could go to next, but he wanted to run them by Rey. Furthermore, if he was honest with himself, he was not sure he wanted to keep on being that man in black whose only dash of colour was a symbol of the law. He had sinned, oh yes, especially with the woman riding next to him, though he hoped to make it legal one day, but he did not feel like he wanted to shoulder the responsibility of caring for so many people and their safety. Her safety was the only one that truly mattered to him, and that was as scary as the shadows from your youth.

However, knowing or guessing what her life had been like, he had decided not to share those thoughts with her. It would have been an insult to her past to dare complain about the fear he had felt as a young rich child.

“You don’t need to keep a slow pace,” she said, interrupting his thoughts, “I know you’re used to riding much faster, and I can keep up.”

He chuckled to himself and said:

“I never meant to insult you….”

“You just wanted to make sure I was comfortable, and I thank you for that, but the truth is, I feel much more at ease riding at a fast pace, knowing all the money I am currently carrying. It should be sitting in a bank.”

To him, the money she had made was a trifle, but he would never say it out loud.

“Tomorrow, we can open an account in the bank in Tucson, it has branches almost everywhere.”

“That would be lovely… Can we move faster now?”

He nodded and gave a couple tug on his stirrups, getting his horse to run faster, and she followed suit.

They rode for the better part of the morning, and he had to insist on stopping for them to get a bite otherwise she would have kept them on the road until they had reached their destination.

“Leaving Jakku, it really means the world to you, doesn’t it?” He asked, as he forced her to have some part of his sandwich, since she had declined his offer to have one of her own.

“Jakku… Jakku was a nightmare. Don’t take it personally. When I arrived there, it was the end of my life as I knew it. I could not run anymore and steal and get by, authorities had been made aware of my doings. I had to make a decision I stand by to this day, but which could have stripped me of my dignity. Thanks to you, I still have that, but if we had not met before, or if you had been out of town, or whatever, who knows if you would have taken a liking to me after I had sold my virginity? Also, how would it have happened, would I remember it hating myself, or hating the man who would have bought me? Those thoughts are running around and around again in my head, and I really need to step foot somewhere else, in order to actually believe that Jakku is done. These last months were okay, but what we had to do to get there…”

She shivered, despite the overwhelming heat.

“I want a clean state. I want a blank page.”

“Is there room for me on that page of yours?” He asked.

“You know it, you just want me to flatter your ego,” she said, and he would have sworn she was blushing underneath the veil.

He wanted to kiss her so badly, but they had a front to keep.

“Just so you know, if we were away from any Jakku possible interlopers, I would kiss you then run my hands all over your little body, knowing just how perfectly it reacts to me.”

Oh well, he was going to have to ride with an erection, he realized as he said those words.

She noticed the bulge in his pants, and he saw her shoulder slightly shake, as if she had read his mind. He tossed some bread at her, and he was delighted to hear laugh.

In the end, they did not stay much longer, as she was getting anxious to put as much distance between them and where they came from. He understood her haste, and he swore to himself he would give her that clean state, that blank page, for her to write whatever she wanted, especially sinceshe now knew how to write and read.

They rode together, two riders in black, and whenever they would cross another traveller, they would quicken the pace to avoid any conversation.

He worried she might be getting tired. She knew how to ride, alright, but only a socially acceptable distance. When he had taken her to the cabin, he had been the one directing the horse, and she had been able to keep light.

Once or twice, she asked for his canteen, as hers was empty and they had not stopped near some running water for lunch. He was getting thirsty too, but he wanted her to have the most pleasant, or the least unpleasant, trip possible. Next time, if they travelled, they would take the diligence or maybe, the train.

Finally about an hour or two before the sun would set, they saw Tucson in the distance. They rode harder until they reached the city.

“Is the bank open?” She asked.

“We can always go by and see,” he offered.

He was stalling, just a bit. He had warned their friends, but he was not sure Rey knew what she would be facing.

Luckily, the bank was still open. They went together, and they were taken backstage to deposit her money.

“We will come and fetch it before we leave town,” she whispered his way, and he could not blame her for having no trust in this institution as it was the first time she had any money worth putting there.

They made her fill out forms, and he stated that he was her cousin and she was the customer.

“Can I get a glass of water?” She asked, as she was answering questions on forms.

The teller went to fetch her some and she turned to him:

“I don’t have a last name, not an address for this…”

“Take my last name… Or Ren, though Rey Ren sounds like the beginning of ‘row row row your boat’.”

She did not laugh, and he understood she was petrified.

He took the pencil and papers and wrote down very clearly  _ ORGANA _ as her last name, and he added his mother’s address in Washington.

“Who’s Organa?” She asked as she took over the rest of the form, putting in her birthdate, which he saved in his memory for later.

“That would be my mother’s maiden name. If we’re supposed to be cousins, it has to be from somewhere…”

“It’s a beautiful name, exotic even…”

“Wait, till you meet the carrier of said name. Even more exotic.”

She gave him a look which could only be described as puzzled, but the teller came back and offered her a glass of water.

She raised her veil as she lifted the glass to her lips, and he was fascinated by how sensual her mouth was.

“Well, Mrs… Organa,” the man said when she handed him the paper and her money, all $200 of them, “welcome to our bank.”

“Thank you,” she answered, and she had to shake him awake for him to get up as she did.

There was just something…. If she could not be Rey Solo, or not yet, well, Rey Organa really felt like the next best thing, and he had started dreaming of her and him in a house, her belly swollen with a baby that they would both cherish when it would be born. Much to his surprise, in his daydream, his parents would visit, and his father would not be utterly disappointed in his son.

It had been a good daydream.

Once they were out of the bank, he led her to his friends’ house. The butler opened and said:

“Ah yes, Mister Ren. My masters are out but will be back for dinner. I was given strict instructions to show you and your cousin to your rooms. Mrs. Hux put you in two rooms with a communicating door, as she mentioned your cousin is still terribly in mourning over her husband’s passing.”

“Why yes, I am,” Rey said, as the butler grabbed their belongings and started showing them upstairs.

“There is the Mister’s room, and there is the lady’s” the man said, “but you can exchange at will. If you don’t mind, I need to go check that dinner will be ready on time.”

When he was gone, Rey opened the first room and he followed her in.

“How quaint,” she said. “Rooms with adjacent doors?”

“It’s not quaint, in the land of the rich and mighty. Married couples usually don’t share a bed, unless for a few minutes when they are procreating. My friends don’t believe in that and share a bedroom… andso do my parents.”

“You mean, they get married, and they only meet for…. Procreation?”

“Once again, my darling, in the land of the rich and mighty, procreation does not equal recreation.”

“I know about loveless marriages, but I thought they were extinct.”

“They are… Or they should be. Some habits die hard, especially in places where civilisation was introduced not too long ago. Holding on to a bedroom per spouse feels like being civilised.”

“It feels like being sexually deprived to me.”

“I could not agree more,” he said, turning her around until she was nestled in his arms and he was kissing her neck, putting her veil on the bed.

She met his lips, and he kissed her like he had wanted to do it all day.

A knock on the door forced them apart, and a servant announced that they each would be poured a bath to freshen up before dinner.

“Does that mean that every night, you will come to my bed, people believing you are helping through my demons….”

“When I’ll be the demon? Quite right, beautiful lady.”

She blushed and he hated the poor servant girls for coming back with a bunch of maids to fill each tub. He went to the other room and waited till his bath was ready. He slid into the water and thought about Rey doing the same next door. What he wouldn’t do to join her….

About half an hour later, she knocked on the door between their rooms, and he took in the sight of his precious Rey looking every bit like the lady she had always been.

It was then he knew what he wanted their next stop to be. However, in the meantime, he took her hand, and led her away from the bedrooms, helping her down the stairs.

He knew the layout of the house too well, for having been there time and time again.

He entered the dining room and he felt Rey tense next to him.

He could not blame her, Mrs. Hux, or Phasma as he knew her, was quite an impressive woman.

“Armitage, Phasma, thank you so much for welcoming us in your house. This is Rey, my cousin.”

Phasma was wearing trousers, as she always did, and it made her even more imposing to the younger woman, but she held her own and did a small curtsy, thanking them for their welcome.

“Don’t be silly dear, any cousin of Kylo is my cousin, as well as Hux’s, isn’t that right Darling?”

“Of course, Love, of course. Kylo, it’s good to see you again.”

And for once, Ben truly meant it as he returned the greeting.

They did not waste anymore time and Ben led Rey to the table, sitting her next to him.

“So, now that the help is away,” Phasma said, once the dishes had been put forth, “why don’t we get acquainted with the girl who stole Kylo’s heart?”

“It’s Ben, Ma’am.”

“What?”

“Rey is right. Kylo Ren was who I was, but before that, I was Ben Solo. I would like to be that man again.”

“It’s good to finally have you back, Ben,” Phasma said, and even if it was just the four of them, it truly felt like coming home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please review.  
> I hope you're all doing well and staying safe wherever you are. In France, we've been in isolation for two weekd a,d will be for at least two more weeks, I'm going slowly crazy...


	21. Chapter 21

In a different way, she came to join him that night.

After their dinner with the Huxes, she had felt empowered, for they had treated her as if she had committed a great deed in bringing back Ben to them. She understood that they had been his friend, through and through, but that they had hated not being able to get through to him and have him explain what his change in name was supposed to represent.

It had felt wonderful to be given credit for something and even though she knew that where she was from was no secret, they never made her feel like the impostor they would have been entitled to think her so.

The fantastic blonde woman had been a delight, from the way she teased Ben as if he truly were family to the fashion in which she explained why she would wear trousers and not a dress, and more.

It had felt utterly amazing to Rey, to see a woman manage to break down every rule and code existing, to just be herself. While in Jakku, under Unkar’s watch, the way she had dressed emphasized what her presence in the saloon inferred. She had no liberty, no freedom there, and she had hated her wardrobe, no matter how often she had been told she should be happy it was provided free of charges. Therefore, to see Phasma dress in men’s clothes and still be considered a woman by people who knew her, without a second thought truly felt like a miracle to the young woman.

She hoped one day she would be free of all this symbolism, but also knew that she had to bid her time, whatever she decided or whatever happened.

She did not want to wear trousers, but to be able to choose…

She forgot all about that in Ben’s arms.

When morning came, she was quick to retreat to her room. Even though she was a guest, she knew how people would talk, and while she wanted that clean state so badly, she also felt overly concerned about her lover’s reputation. She had a sense he was hoping they would be able to go back and see his parents, and she did not want her existence to be something that could prevent him from having it.

She slipped back in bed and pretended to be waking up when a maid presented herself to get help get ready for breakfast.

* * *

They ended up staying two weeks with Phasma and Armitage. That first day, the tall woman took her shopping, and while she tried to be very considerate of how much money she could spend, there was no denying the blonde when she claimed that widowhood did not have to mean you kissed your womanhood goodbye.

Rey noticed Ben was taken to a similar shop by his counterpart, and came back with some clothes that were not, black. Certainly, they remained pretty chromatic, in tones of blue, dark blue too, but it really felt like a change, as if he were shading Kylo’s dress code and deciphering what should be Ben’s.

The whole town was buzzing about the Solo cousins, and everywhere they’d go, they’d hear whispers and murmurs and more. It was not, however, like in Jakku for people wondered what had happened to her husband, and would wonder about how thoughtful he was being to his grieving relation. She found herself enjoying their game of hide-and-seek with truth. For once, their lives did not happen to depend on it, and the stakes were low. It felt like a rehearsal for a greater game to come.

For everything though, she had Phasma, which in itself, was truly surprising. While discarding roles assigned by tradition with the way she chose to don herself, she was still spot-on in her appreciation of what was going on through Rey’s head. Even when she missed and felt surprise at a turn Rey’s convoluted mind had taken her, she would still try her a best and understand.

While the cousin act was working between Rey and Ben, it worked even better once Phasma had established that Rey was a twice-removed cousin of hers, setting mid at ease when they worried about Rey’s British accent. Rey remembered she had been born overseas, as she sometimes had flashes of a time when she had crossed over, mostly memories of being sick, but she would not have been able to tell where she was born. Thanks to Phasma, she was now a Cambridge-born widow, very respected.

The couple hosted three nights at their residence which brought together Tucson’s nobility if one could say, and Rey had laughed under her veil when young men had tripped over themselves in order to try and get her out of widowhood. Ben’s reactions had been a delight she would bring up when she would join him, before reminding him that he was the only one she had ever and would ever want.

Finally, after they had shared their bodies and souls, he had asked her if she would go with him to Washington where his family was. She needed several days to think it over, and he told her times and times again that she did not have to commit to anything else beyond coming with him to Washington, that she would then decide whom to meet or not before she agreed to come with.

She worried about the price but he would not let her pay for her own ticket, saying she needed to save her money in case she wanted to run away from him. She’d kiss him and call him silly.

Truthfully, she was scared of everything and nothing, for one wimple reason: things felt too good. She was not used to this. She was used to feeling as though she had to put on a show, like people would read through her, or made the worst assumptions about her and she would still be blamed by deceiving them. Another thing that kept her up at night was the worry that someone might travel between Jakku and Tucson. She dreaded being recognized. Ben knew it well and stressed out how unlikely she would be to meet someone she had danced with in Washington.

He may have gotten used to being freer, but for her, it was a trial, after the years when she had hidden and had survived, followed by the few months when she had been on display at every single moment of her life or so it had felt. She needed some time getting accustomed to people respecting her at first sight. She joked she felt like a child raised by wolves or coming home after having grown up on a different planet.

Nevertheless, Washington felt right, or more accurately, the East Coast felt so. She knew she had gotten there as a child, though how she ended up in Jakku was still a mystery, but she did not really ware to unravel it. All that mattered was where she had ended up and with whom.

He booked their tickets, mostly by train, telling her at such junction they would need to get on board a coach, and it felt harrowing, a five-week-long journey. However, it also felt like the right price to pay to be sure no one could ever call her again Rey from Jakku.

“You will love Baton Rouge,” he told her one evening. “The French are gone but their ways remain.”

And then he would say something similar about another place where they would stop for a day or two. Either she was going to love it all, or he was afraid she might not and hoped to get her excited at the prospect. That realization meant a lot to her, as she had dreaded being the only one feeling the need to have time to change and adapt. If he feared how she would react to such and such place, it meant he was not as carefree as he seemed, and while she wanted nothing more than for him to feel free as a bird, misery did love company and she felt better knowing he was not taking it all in stride. She told him so one night, thinking he would consider her terrible, but he had kissed her and had only worried about making her feel better. He knew it was such a change for her, and the fact that she had opened up about it meant a lot to him.

That Tuesday morning, when they were escorted by Phasma and Hux, to a stagecoach which would take them to Phoenix, she could barely contain herself as so many emotions were fighting in her. Nevertheless, she wav ed their friends goodbye, and Ben’s hand in hers, she got ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am not in fact dead. I apologize for disappearing for so long. The lockdown ended a long time time ago in France, but life has been... Well, let's not go there, I think we are all very aware about our new reality and what it means. Let's just say that as a teacher, it's been.... interessing? I guess.   
> I will admit that I may be ending the story there. I had hoped to go much further, but it feels like it's more than I can chew. I will see in the coming days if I'm feeling like writing again though, giving myself sometime to think it through.   
> It is not my best work, but well, you do what you can. I hope to have inspiration as I head into our family house in the middle of nowhere with my boyfriend/fiancé (met him 6 days before the lockdown, who knew?), my cat (most important non-person in my life or so) and my mom (equally important person in my life, more truthfully).   
> As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!  
> Wherever you are, stay safe, and keep your loved ones as close as you can!


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